Living Through the Past
by tetisheri
Summary: A young woman from modern times is about to experience a world that was only meant to be a movie.
1. The Sky was a Gift

AN: Hello, this is my first fic on Pearl Harbor, so please nobody kill me. The idea for this popped into my head late one night while I couldn't sleep. There will probably some technical problems through out the story, though I do try my hardest to get things right I'm not perfect. Anyways please review to tell me what you think, because let's face it reviews for a new story is always encouraging, even if I get told it's a stupid idea.

Oh and I should add the story is already pretty far along on my computer, so I'll be updating about once every four to five days.

Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing, except for my own character.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 1: The Sky was a Gift

A startled gasp left the young woman's mouth as she watched the movie play out. Tears filled her wide eyes and spilled down her cheeks as the main character went through the last stages of life. She swallowed over the dryness in her throat and tried forcing the tears to stop.

"No…" she whispered seeing him go limp. "Ugh…stupid tears." she cursed scrubbing away at the wet trails staining her face. After the tears were gone she refocused on the movie. She watched the remainder pilots that survived climb out of the airplane, and the wooden box they carried with the jacket on top nearly broke her heart. "Of course Ben Affleck lives." the young woman muttered bitterly as she watched the two timing female lead walk up to the coffin. "I don't like her…"

"You're getting this worked up over a movie?" the interrupting loud voice drew her attention to the door. Her coworker stood in the doorway to the private lounge of the room.

"It's an amazing movie." the woman stated fiercely watching the rest with narrowed eyes. Her coworker rolled his eyes and walked into the room to sit down on the padded chair next to hers.

"Long as hell too. How'd you fit in the time to watch it?" he asked glancing at her before looking to the TV. He sighed silently. She was so oblivious to things around her when she set her mind to something.

"The flight got delayed…the wife had some party to attend." she shrugged scowling as the credits came up. The young woman unfolded herself from the chair and stood. Revealing she was about 5'10. She racked her fingers through her short hair while stretching out her muscles. She had never been a very feminine girl while growing up, and it stuck with her through adulthood. She didn't have the sensual curves most women had her age, or the bouncy full breasts. She was broad shouldered with the minimal curve at her hips and small petite breasts. It was a blessing and a curse for the young woman.

"I really hate when that happens." the man muttered diverting his attention elsewhere.

"I know me too…makes me lazy." The young woman yawned cracking her back. "Did you just get back?" she asked looking over at the middle aged man. He had the slightest of graying hair expertly woven into his slicked back hair. He still wore the blue and white uniform of a commercial pilot. The golden wings a blinding contrast to the navy blue.

"Yep…gods I hate eleven hour flights. I was on my way home when I heard this sniveling sound." he said with a playful smile rocking himself back into a standing position.

"Oh whatever Fred you'd be crying too." she said with an eye roll.

"Skyla your passengers just pulled up." both pilots looked over to the secretary. Skyla smiled widely, she loved getting up in the air.

"Thanks Barbara, bye Fred." she said slipping on her shoes and combing her hair straighter. Skyla drove her personal plane for the more exclusive clients that came through. It fit about six people max and had been her faithful companion for years.

The family she was flying today were the typical lot. They were rich and they flaunted it. The husband was wearing his most expensive suit, and the wife was wearing a dress that looked like it belonged on the window then on her. They had two kids who were in too tight looking suits for their pudgy bodies. Skyla plastered on her most professional smile and walked up to the family.

"Hello Mr. Burke, Mrs. Burke how are you this evening?" she asked gaining their attention. Mr. and Mrs. Burke looked at her with distaste.

"You're the pilot?" Mr. Burke asked in a heavy voice.

"Yes I am sir." '_He's gunna say women shouldn't be allowed to pilot a plane.'_

"Didn't know they let women fly." Skyla's mouth twitched slightly in distaste but her smile stayed in place.

"I reassure you Mr. Burke I am the best pilot here. Shall we go?" Skyla made a sweeping motion toward her plane. Mr. Burke nodded. She began leading the rich family toward her plane. She didn't like flying during the night personally, but she wouldn't complain.

Once everyone was seated, and the door closed Skyla made her way to the cockpit. With practiced ease she began turning the engines on. She grabbed the little walkie talkie that went through the plane and advised that everyone should wear their seatbelts. Then she placed the large headphones over her ears and went through procedure.

The one thing she loved most about flying, was taking off. It was the most thrilling feeling anyone could have. Knowing that she had full control of a piece of machinery so much bigger then her was something she would always remember. Getting into the air went smoothly. Now there was the four hour flight to the small airport the family was going to for their vacation house.

Being up in the sky was a gift people took far to much advantage of. Millions of people boarded planes everyday and thought nothing of the fact that they were soaring through the sky thousands upon thousands of feet in the air. Skyla smiled wickedly to herself as she piloted the plane. She heard movement and hushed conversations from the back and rolled her eyes. For some reason they always thought that because they were in a small plane that the pilot would get nosy and start butting into their conversations.

"Blackbird." Skyla sighed at the nickname everyone had given her from when she first started working there. "Your heading into a storm, not bad, but you'll probably get some turbulence."

"Alright I understand." she answered into the headphone's mic before grabbing the walkie talkie. "We're going to be experiencing some turbulence here soon, just stay calm and we'll ride it out." she returned the black little box to it's stand.

The storm did kind of look daunting from where she was sitting, but there was no bolts of lighting, or the deafeng crashing of thunder. Only a minor storm. The turbulence wasn't bad at all, though the two children got a few screams out. Tiny planes meant harder turbulence effects. The plane ride went smoothly after that.

Skyla poured herself a cup of strong bitter coffee into the Styrofoam cup before taking a large sip. The black liquid scalded her tongue and throat but boy did it feel good. The airport she landed in was a small one, kind of like the one she worked at, but no big planes went through here. People didn't know her, but they were friendly enough. She was given a room for what was left of the night as her plane was refueled so she could go back home.

With a sigh she set the half empty cup on the nightstand in the room. Running her fingers through her hair Skyla sat on the bed. She took off her shoes before slipping out of her shirt. The familiar metal clinking drew her eyes down to the middle of her chest. Resting between her bosom were dog tags. She gently lifted them forcing herself not to read the name stamped into the metal.

"It's been a long while…" she said almost silently as she slipped under the stiff covers. Her eyes fluttered closed, her hand still grasping the dog tags.

Skyla woke up early in the morning. Her eyes slightly stinging and her joints stiff from the bed. She changed back into her shirt and put on her shoes. She would leave at nine in the morning. It was seven now. She walked to the little diner that lay across from the tiny airport.

"What can I get for you hun?" a nice looking waitress came up smiling.

"A Cheeseburger and a coke please." Skyla didn't even bother looking at the menu. The waitress nodded with a smile and a flirtatious wink before going off to tell the cook. Skyla resisted the urge to slap her forehead. A lot of people who didn't know her mistook her for a man. A small man, but a man no doubt.

The food was good, like any tiny diner would be, and chalk full of fat and calories. Growing up her mother had hounded her about being healthy, and getting fat. Her mother was a woman who if she ate a cheeseburger the next day she'd of gained six pounds. Skyla on the other hand could eat until her stomach was bloated, and not gain a pound. Goes to say she didn't have the best childhood. Skyla stood up after she ate and went to the cashier. She paid the six dollars and went back over to the airport. It was about eight forty now.

"Is she all ready?" Skyla asked the man who was working the runway.

"Yep. You're all ready to go." he said with a nod. Skyla smiled in return and went to her plane. She went through the same procedure's, and waited for the tower to tell her she could go. When they did she was up in the air in no time.

Flying alone had never been a problem for Skyla. She was a pretty solitary person by nature. But today felt different. Almost as if something was off. She checked all the gages and controls. They plane was in working order so what was wrong? She decided to see if there was a storm up ahead and it was her intuition picking up on it.

"It's Blackbird…is there a storm over there?" Skyla asked into the headphones, but the only response was static. "You're just paranoid…totally paranoid." she murmured to herself. She passed through one white fluffy cloud before the engine shut down. Just went off. No explosion, no fire, it just shut off. "Oh fuck." her mind went on autopilot as she tried restarting the engine.

The screaming noise of wind rushing passed her forced her to stop trying to start the engine and level the plane out. She had a slight chance of living if she didn't nosedive into the nearest mountain. Which was all she was surrounded by. As land came up to her fast she did all she could to level the plane out. Our at least stop it's vertical flight path by the slightest. Skyla looked down as the green landscape came hurdling toward her. She felt fear rip at her heart, but her mind went completely clear.

"I'm going to die." she closed her eyes as she felt the first signs of the plane being hit by the towering trees.

She never felt the impact. Confused and disoriented Skyla opened her eyes to see the hard gray cement of a sidewalk. She could hear the sounds of people and cars around her. Looking up she found she was standing in the middle of a semi busy sidewalk. Women in dresses and bonnets hurried passed her while men in khaki's and tucked in shirts with crisp clean hair strode this way and that. The cars she had heard were old. Exactly like the one's she use to see while walking through car shows as a teenager.

'_What the hell? Am I dead?'_ Skyla asked herself before pinching her arm. The pain that shot up her arm was her answer. '_Okay then…where am I?'_

Skyla slowly walked to the nearest store that looked like it might have a newspaper of some kind. It turned out to be a grocery store. Ignoring everyone around her she casually picked up a newspaper and scanned the front for the date. April 5, 19-

"WHAT THE-" she cut off her outburst as the other people in the store were staring at her weird. The man behind the counter was glaring at her. '_I can not be in the thirties…there's no way. My grandfather isn't even born yet!' _as Skyla tried being invisible while looking at a date where she wasn't even a glimmer in the future two young men walked down the street.

They were laughing and joking, as most young men did. One had ashy blonde hair and a square jaw, he was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. His friend had dark brown hair and a little boy smile. He wore the same thing. Skyla glared at the newspaper before looking up at the street through the glass.

'_Is that Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett?'_ her gaze followed the two young men as they walked down the street. '_I'm going crazy…that can't be them…'_ she silently placed the newspaper back on the stand and left the store, much to the store owners relief. She followed the men who looked eerily like the two actors at a safe distance.

They turned into a shop. Quickening her pace she hoped she didn't look like a stalker. Skyla looked at the front of the store and her mouth dropped. It was for enlisting in the military. The military of all places. She opened the door and walked through. She had to see what they were doing in here. Going to a brochure table she listened in on the conversation.

"My daddy's gunna kill me for doing this Raif." a southern accented familiar voice said. Raif merely pat his friend on the arm with an encouraging smile.

"Ahhh c'mon Danny it's the one thing we've been wanting to do sense we were kids." Raif smiled, getting a nod from Danny.

'_Raif and Danny? Isn't that the names from…oh hell no!' _the papers she had been skimming through fell back into place. '_I did not get transported to the Pearl Harbor movie. That just isn't possible…well they are here…and it is the thirties. Why me?'_

"You looken to be a nurse sir?" a raspy voice skewered Skyla's freak out in half. She looked up seeing an aging man in a uniform, that looked vaguely like a Navy suit.

"Uh, no sir." She answered in a forced deeper voice, it still sounded pretty high pitched to her ears. '_If I'm here I'm sticking close to them two…now their going into the Air Force. Okay…thank the Gods I'm a pilot.' _

"Then what are you doing over here for?" She looked down and saw it was the papers to sign up as a nurse.

"Just killing time…I'm a bit nervous." her voice sounded extremely non-accented. She could see the man's eyes soften slightly, and hoped that he hadn't figured out she was female.

"Aint nothing to be nervous about. Where are you looking to join?" he asked with a friendly smile, and judging from the silence of the two other men in the room. He usually wasn't nice. Skyla herself smiled confidently feeling the bubbles of excitement float into her stomach.

"The Air Service sir, I'm looking to be a pilot." '_I have all the female charm without being a female. Oh this is going to be very very interesting…' _the old man directed me to where Danny and Raif were filling out paperwork. They were talking in lowered tones then before.

"Say how'd you get that old man to smile?" Skyla glanced to see Raif giving her a curious look. Danny looked up from his paperwork as well.

"Well…" she started and realized she had no idea. "I guess I have that look?" she shrugged uncomfortably and began filling out the papers. The chuckling signaled she had said the right things. "Joining the Air Service as well?" She asked just to keep up conversation.

AN: Well that's it for chapter one. Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. Silence is Golden

AN: I must say first of all I loved the feedback I got for the story! Thank you all for the reviews/alerts/favs. So I will warn the story moves kind of fast these first few chapters, but soon it slows down quite a bit. Anyways hope you enjoy the second chapter. And please don't forget to review they keep me confident.

Later in the chapter you'll encounter something about tampons. I did my research on it and they did have tampons back then.

Also I'm not sure how long of training people go through and stuff so I'm making it a couple of years.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 2: Silence is Golden

**POV Skyla(for the rest of story)**

"Yep we're going to be pilots." the two people who I fiercely wanted to call Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett smiled broadly. I also couldn't help but notice the small gap between Josh's teeth made his smile look absolutely adorable. But their not Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett. They were Raif and Danny. How I ended up inside a movie was beyond me.

"Cool so am I." well I technically already am boys, but you don't know that.

"You don't sound like your from around here." Danny pointed out filling more of the paper work out.

"Nope." I answered truthfully. I was originally from Arizona. They didn't ask anymore questions. Once the paperwork was filled out and turned in, I finally realized what I just did. I signed up for the Air Force, and I was female through and through. Tests…there were going to do tests and it'd reveal my gender. Oh fuck.

"You have no idea where your going do you." I spun around to see Raif and Danny standing a few feet behind me.

"What do you mean?" I asked with a head shift. Raif cracked a smile while Danny chuckled.

"Cause if you keep walking that way you'll end up in the middle of nowhere." I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I scratched the back of my head hoping to dispel the heat I felt. For the paperwork I wrote the same address as the store, I didn't really have anywhere to live.

"Ummm…" I had nothing to say…nothing at all.

"Why don't you come with me and Danny. We're just heading over to my house for dinner." dinner…the thought of food made my stomach growl. It was even more embarrassing that they heard. "I'll take that as a yes." when we were on our way to Raif's house they finally decided to ask my name.

"Sk-" my name almost immediately poured out, but that was a really girly name. I felt the weight of the dog tags grow heavier against my chest. "Scott…Scott Penber." I had written that name on the paperwork.

"Well Scott welcome to Tennessee."

XXX

I was accepted into the Air force.

After that first night at Raif's I stayed there, per his mother's request, until the response came. I grew to be quite close to them, people who looked like the actors of where I came from. They were opposites in almost everything they did. Danny was shy around people he didn't know, and a sweetheart to just about everyone, while Raif was brash and outgoing. Put them together and you get the craziest two people I've ever met.

Pretending I was a guy became very difficult when I started my period. I remember sitting on the toilet at two am in the morning doubled over with cramps. Raif's mom had asked if I had the stomach flu…and I couldn't lie to her. She was the most understanding woman I had ever met. She gave me a rather large supply tampons. Tampons! Who knew they had tampons in the thirties? She even congratulated me on being so brave as to fake my gender to join the military and not as a nurse.

Of course the guys didn't suspect a thing when Raif's mother started treating me slightly different. She was stricter on what clothes I wore, and if I combed my hair. Which I had been keeping at it's short length. So when the letters telling us we had been accepted and were expected to be at a base for training came in two months later, it goes to say I was nervous and afraid of being found out. So far I had been wrapping my small breasts with a long strips of cloth I bought at the store with some money Raif's mother gave me. If I ever got back to my home I would never forget her.

When we ended up at the training camp. We were given barracks to sleep in. Luckily I was bunked with Danny and Raif. I recognized almost immediately the other guys from the movie. Especially Red and his stuttering problem. I had thought he was a really sweet guy when I watched the movie. I felt bad that his love died. When we were called into our lines it became painfully apparent that I was of smaller stature then everyone else.

The guy in charge…which had a title but I was bad at military titles was Alec Baldwin. Okay well no he was a James Doolittle here, but still Alec Baldwin look alike. He roll called everyone, and I almost didn't say I was present when he yelled my fake name.

I would never, ever forget that first day in camp. We had to do physical's and I wasn't the most physical person in the world. By the end of the day I was dying to just take a shower and go to sleep. But I was presented with a very big problem. They were communal showers. At Raif's house the shower was in the bathroom, which was private. Nothing was private about this. As the other guys started undressing and heading for the showers I stayed seated on my bed.

"Hey Penber!" I turned seeing it was Billy who called me. He was butt naked save for the dog tags we were all issued. I had the new pair on, and the old ones that belonged to my brother was tucked safely away in my bag.

"What?" I asked keeping my gaze above his shoulders.

"Are you afraid we'll bite you in the showers?" he asked with a smirk. I frowned and shook my head and went back to reading the small booklet. A how to book for airplanes. I knew how to work an airplane, but these were almost sixties years down graded.

"Nahh he must be embarrassed of another certain something." Anthony snickered striding into the showers confidently. I felt my face heat up. I wasn't embarrassed I didn't have a penis…I was scared out of my mind of being found out I was a chick.

"Nahh I just don't want to intimidate you Anthony! You know…you're kind of lacking anyway." I called after him hearing the howls of laughter from everyone else in the showers. I sighed my shoulders sinking; I had averted a crisis.

It was in the middle of the night that I did finally get up and take a shower. It felt amazing against my tired skin. I forgot what it was like not to shower when you want to. It went on like that for a while, an easy pace of training…until it came that we finally got to go up into a plane.

"I'm excited." Raif stated as we got ready that morning.

"Everyone is." I said quietly feeling nervousness begin to creep into my skin. I knew how to fly. I already knew that, we all did actually. But I didn't know how to fly these planes. All the little booklets I've been reading weren't much help.

"Ahh don't get nervous Scotty boy I'm sure you won't crash." an arm flung around my neck and pulled me down slightly. I easily maneuvered out of the hold. I had gotten use to the rough horse play all of them took part in.

I was being walked through how to work the plane. It wasn't the best feeling in the world, this nervousness eating away at my nerves. Most of the other guys had gone up and down without a problem. Since that was all we could do for now.

"Don't be so nervous kid…your born a pilot I can tell." Alec Baldwin, I couldn't call him Doolittle, it reminded me of the movie Dr. Doolittle, said with a reassuring pat on my shoulder.

'_Just go through the motions…you'll be fine.'_ I took a deep breath and began the regular procedures to turning the plane on. I fell quickly into my normal routine and soon I was off the runway and in the sky. "Oh thank you lord for not killing me." I exclaimed gratefully after I had landed and gotten rough shoulder shakes and hoots.

Back in the barracks that night I lay flat on my back on my bed. The biggest hurdle was over. Finally. My fist closed around my dog tags. I was here under a false name…a name that wouldn't come into existence until the eighties. When a young man would join the Air force. I heard someone get up and go outside. Curiosity won over my mournful musing and I got up to follow the person. Who ended up being Danny. He sat on a bench not far from the barracks.

"Hey mind if I sit?" I asked in a hushed voice. He jumped slightly as if startled and nodded.

"Can't sleep either huh?" he asked looking at the sky.

"Not a wink." I think the hardest part of being in this time was trying to figure out their expressions, and everyone else trying to figure out mine. "Though the sky is peaceful enough." I supplied looking at the star speckled sky.

"Yaaa…" we were quiet for a while. I had learned quite a while ago that Danny wasn't a man of words. He liked staying quiet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." I remember when I had first said that to him. He had gotten the most puzzled look I had ever seen anyone in my life give me. I explained that it means go ahead…an expression my little brother use to always say and it rubbed off.

"Scott isn't your real name is it." it wasn't a question just a statement. I sighed heavily.

"No it's not…my name's kind of embarrassing." Skyla for a guy just didn't sound right. "How'd you know?" I asked looking at him. I couldn't help but notice the muscles that his thin tank top revealed, or the bronzed skin. Snap out of it. I looked back at the stars. A safer place to stare.

"You take a few seconds to answer when called, and you look pained when you answer to it." my shoulders curled in on themselves.

"That's my older brother's name…he uhh…he was killed in an accident." keep up the male voice…you can't be bawling and sniveling like a little girl.

"I'm sorry about your brother." he sounded sincere. I nodded taking a deep breath. "What is your real name anyhow? Could it be that bad?"

"It's Skyla." silence…oh the silence was golden. Not exactly. I looked to see him holding his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. "I know I know…it's a girl name. My mother thought I was a girl before I was born, so everything was already set up for a Skyla." not really a lie.

"Skyla…huh…seems to fit you though." he said once he stopped his silent laughing.

"So why are you out here?" I asked glanced at him before looking outwards. The base was pretty quiet at night.

"Thinking." I nodded. That was very informative information.

"Well don't think too hard or you'll give your self an aneurism." I chuckled standing up. "Night Danny." I called as I walked to the barracks.

"Night Sky'" my heart thumped painfully in my chest as I kept walking.

Once I was back inside I made my way to my bed and curled up under the covers. No one but my brother, and the boyfriends I'd had over the years ever called my Sky. Though it made perfect sense to shorten the name like that, everyone would go for Lila…which made no sense to me as I was growing up. Then I became a pilot and the friends there all called me Blackbird, for reasons they would never tell me why.

A couple of years passed. I was now twenty seven. Raif was twenty five, and Danny was twenty three. Though everyone thought I was about twenty two. Red had his stutter. Anthony and Billy were jerks. But we all got along just fine. Of course there was the fact that any day we'd be shipped to a different base and separated, or America would finally join the war and we'd be actually fighting.

It was examination day today…a day I remembered as Raif meeting Evelyn. I had written everything that happened during the movie on paper and shoved it in my belongs, saying they were letters from home. It was the only way the guys would leave my stuff alone. I shifted my weight nervously as I waited in between Danny and Raif. They were both taller then me by a good four to five inches. I felt like a midget compared to them.

We were surrounded by underwear clad men, and white dressed nurses. I was in a t-shirt and underwear. I couldn't wear a tank top like everyone else. The reason was self explanatory if you knew what I had under my shirt.

"Next!" Raif walked up to the nurse handed her his chart. And yelped when he was poked with the needle. "Next!" I gulped and walked up to the lady who looked nice enough. "Drop your drawers." I lowered them enough to expose enough of my butt. "Lean over the table."

"Yes ma'am." I mumbled leaning my elbows on the gurney. I would never forget what happened next. "EEK!" I squealed like the girl I was as the nurse stabbed me with needle. "Why soo insensitive….?" I moaned as I rubbed my sore butt while pulling my boxers up. I passed Danny who was barely concealing his bout of laughter. "If you comment about the pitch of my voice I will hurt you." I threatened with a pained scowl only succeeding in making him laugh harder.

"Don't worry, don't worry…" he reassured me, it didn't feel very reassuring. I looked over at Red who let out a few sputtering wails as the butchy nurse stuck him with the needle.

"Hang in there Red…" I said with a thumbs up as I looked where I was suppose to go next. Vision test.

"Next." I was up in front of Evelyn in no time. She handed me to black stick. "Cover your right eye and repeat the bottom line for me." she didn't even look up.

"P r z o l c r t d." she looked up nodded and signed something on my chart.

"Cover your left and do the same."

"P r z o l c r t d." she stamped the big approve sign before handing me the chart back. I was done.

I was officially a pilot.

Oh ya! I had the urge to dance around, but that would have been really bad. I passed Raif and Danny. Raif looked like he was about to pass out. He had dyslexia, though no one really knew what that meant now.

"Good luck." I told them both and proceeded back towards the changing rooms. I knew what happened next. He would beg Evelyn to pass him. She would give in, then while he was trying to ask her to dinner he would be given the shot again and break his nose. Later that night he would try and woo her again, but end up hurting himself. They would share a sickly sweet kiss.

"Hey Sky what has you all brood like?" I glance over seeing Anthony getting dressed. They had all started calling me Sky, with the help of Danny, after it had become apparent next to Raif and Danny I was the best pilot out of the group.

"My ass hurts." I ground out still feeling the throb. He nodded gravely knowing my pain. I pulled my pants and shirt on over before slipping on the shoes. I hated men shoes…they were righteously uncomfortable.

"Where you headed off to?" he asked as we both made our way out of the building.

"No idea. I was thinking of just heading off to the barracks and rest. That nurse stuck me mighty hard." I frowned at the memory.

"Yaa I know mine too. Well I'll see ya later!" he waved and raced off in a direction I didn't really care to know.

I sighed in satisfaction once I was in my pajama's, which consisted a helluva lot more then what most of them wore to bed, and was laying face down on my bed. My body slowly relaxed into the thin mattress and my mind drifted for the time being. In four weeks Raif would go off the England, and everyone else would go to Pearl Harbor…I had no idea where I would end up. I hoped it was Pearl Harbor. If I was going to be in this time, then I should at least be sent to Pearl Harbor. The most infamous day for the U.S.. My mind slowly drifted into darkness.

AN: Review and tell me what you think! If I made any mistakes please feel free to correct me on them. I'll update in the next few days. Till next time!


	3. Definitely Not a Ladies Man

AN: Thank you for the feedback. In the chapter there is kind of a shopping scene, and I was grasping at straws on what kind of things were around in the forties. Anyways please review and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer(I hate these things): I do not own Hitler pin cushion.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 3: Definitely Not a Ladies Man

Three weeks passed in a blur. At the moment I was getting in flight hours. Everyone else had already landed, but I needed to do something. I needed to do an experiment. So I rose my fighter plane far passed the clouds…and did a nose dive straight for the ground. I let out a long breath as I watched the earth slowly get bigger and bigger. The base taking shape and building looking more 3D then 2D. When I knew the experiment failed I jerked the plane roughly horizontal and vaulted away from the base. I landed a few minutes later.

"What the hell were you thinking!"

"That was totally amazing!"

"You Damned Idiot are you trying to get yourself killed!"

"T-that w-w-was I-I-impressive!"

"You're going to be in soo much trouble." I blinked as the voices bombarded me. Though adrenaline was pumping into my veins, and my heart was beating a mile a minute I didn't feel all that excited. It hadn't worked. I couldn't recreate the situation and get back to home.

"Lieutenant Penber!" the loud voice crashed around us.

"Yes sir?" I asked politely.

"Your wanted in the office. Come with me." he started walking away.

"Let's hope I don't get grounded…" I muttered following after him. I got pats and squeezes on my shoulders from everyone else. Alec Baldwin was the one to talk to me.

"Did you intentionally nose dive your plane?" he asked sounding calm. I stood at attention in front of his desk.

"Yes sir." I said without looking at him.

"Why did you nose dive your plane?"

"I was conducting an experiment sir." I glanced at him had saw him staring wide eyed at me. "I wanted to see how fast my reaction time is and how much control I had over the plane. In case America goes to war and I am being chased down I want to know that I have as many possible escape routes as possible." on an after thought I added "Sir."

"If you pull a stunt like that again I'm grounding you understood?" he asked in an exasperated voice.

"Yes, Sir!" I said with the tiniest of smiles. Most of the higher ups had a soft spot for me, and none of them could figure out why. Guess it was the gentleman ways that had been branded into their brains. I strode out of the office confidently, but once I was back in my room I nearly fell over.

"How'd it go!" Billy asked jumping over his bed which was next to mine to stare at me.

"Shush." I held up a finger and sat on my bed.

"Did he just shush me?" Billy asked sounding incredulous.

"Well…?" that was Raif.

"I'm off the hook…"

"That's amazing!" Billy said with a clap. I shook my head tiredly.

"No…no it's not…" I murmured laying back on my bed. I couldn't get home that way. Was I ever going home?

Four weeks. Four weeks now. Raif and Danny were being yelled at for playing chicken. A game I had adamantly refused to play with either of them. Well mostly Raif. He was always the risk taker. The rest of us are getting ready for New York. Our last night in this base since we all got word we were being assigned to Pearl Harbor. I was going with the boys. Thank the fucking lord for that. I also just happened to be on my period.

Now being on my period was one of the most freakiest times of my life. I couldn't get bitchy at every little thing I wanted to because that would give me away. I had to discreetly go off base and buy more tampons when I ran out, which was near impossible, and to top it all off…I had to find a way to hide all the wrappers and used ones. Toilets became my very best friends when I was here.

"Just put a dab of this under your eyes…let them sting and water up before grabbing your nurse and saying 'baby their trainin me for war, and I don't know what might happen, but if I die tomorrow I want to know we lived all we could tonight." I snorted at the idiotic corniness of the line as I fixed my hair. Which meant brushing a comb through it. "What?" I looked to Billy who was practically glaring at me.

"Guys that's seriously not going to work." I said looking back over at the mirror.

"And how do you know? I've never even seen you _look_ at a girl."

"That's because I'm here to fly not to f-"

"You always find a way for bad language." I looked to see Raif smiling. I rolled my eyes and kept doing my hair.

"Are you even male!" Billy yelled as he finally seemed to figure out my sentence. I steeled my resolve.

"Do you want to find out toots?" I asked with a fake purr getting everyone else to laugh and Billy to turn red. True to being guys, and me faking it, we finished up pretty quickly. Danny was quieter then normal, but I knew why. Raif told him he was being assigned to the war. I always thought it was really nice how he was always protecting Danny.

On the ride to the train station where we would be meeting up with the nurses, I began thinking of home. It seemed like a dream now…back in 2011. Where there were cell phones and internet, and a whole bunch of other stuff that people couldn't even think of here. I tried holding onto what I could remember. Watching TV while curled up and eating popcorn I had popped in the microwave. Calling my ill mother from my cell while I was getting ready to go on a flight. Or the best…wearing a bra. I had had my breasts pressed down to my chest for so long, except for taking a shower. Or maybe what I missed most was being treated like a girl.

Sure in my time guys didn't treat women like they did now, but still. I liked not being dog piled onto when they wanted to play a joke. And I missed being treated to dinner. No…what I truly missed about being in my time was my truck. My big 4x4 white GMC truck. That was my baby.

"Already falling asleep and we're not ever there." I lazily opened my eyes to see Danny smiling at me. I nodded with a yawn.

"Going out on the town isn't my kind of fun." I glanced around watching everyone else being their rambunctious selves. "I'd rather stay home."

"You and me both." he said looking around as well. I chuckled and settled back into the seat, looking out the window. Watching the scenery that didn't belong go by.

Getting off the train was just as it was in the movie. Fog expertly covered the girls entrance until the last moment. I hung back behind the rest of the guys. I was never attracted to women, so why would I start now? Even though pretending would be a very big drag. I knew exactly who I was attracted to and he thought I was a guy. And I was going to keep it that way. I wasn't here to get into a relationship. I was here because…well because I needed to experience the war, I think.

"Take your pick." I heard Raif say gesturing to us all. Billy, Red, and Anthony were all bunched up together with eager looking faces. I snorted and rolled my eyes at them. The nurses were all very dolled up for a night on the town. I had always envied women of this time because of the class they held, and I still did. To their perfectly pinned hair, cherry red lip stick, and the gorgeously modest high heels. I was stuck in a brown uniform, with a tie tucked into the buttons, and wearing men's dress shoes.

The New York club was a pretty cool experience. Instead of techno or rap, they were playing swing. And people were dancing their butts off, but in a really modest way. We all squeezed into a booth, going girl boy all around. I didn't really appreciate the eyelash bats and flirtatious little waves from the women around the bar. It made me feel really insecure. Soon my friends started trickling away in pairs. Until the black curly haired red rimmed glasses nurse was left, Danny who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, and me who was trying to hide from every feminine eye in the place.

"uh. Hi." The nurse who's name I almost instantly forgot when we were introduced said awkwardly. I gave her a polite smile and a nod.

"Hi." Danny said taking a sip of the shot of whiskey he had ordered.

"So Sky is it?" I glanced over at her to see a faint blush rise on her cheeks.

"Yes." I answered hesitantly. I really hoped she didn't ask to dance.

"Uh…where'd you get that nickname?" she must of picked up on my vibes. I jabbed a finger in Danny's direction. She nodded with a silent Oh. "I'm going to get a drink." she announced and scampered off towards the bar her cheeks a bright red. I blinked confused as she disappeared within the crowds. I looked to Danny.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked truthfully. He looked up from his glass and snorted nodding.

"You were being a bit rude."

"I was not…" he raised and eyebrow "okay ya I was." I slumped against the back of the booth. "I'm not…good around people."

"Women…I think you mean women." he pointed out taking another sip.

"And he's getting all the attention too!" Anthony popped out of nowhere with one of the nurses clinging to his arm. "So is Red…look how he's talking to Betty." I glanced at Red who was stuttering and puttering around trying to talk to the young nurse. I smiled warmly at the sight.

We sat in silence for a while. After the first hour I began drowning out the old time music and recalling from memory songs I absolutely adored. My foot started tapping in a rhythm different from the music on the floor, my head slightly bobbing to a beat only could hear. I yawned.

"You know if you want you can dance you don't have to keep me company." Danny commented, probably noticing my tapping foot and my bobbing head.

"Not staying here for that…" I said scanning the crowds. The truth of the matter was, I had no _idea_ how to dance to music like that, and if I did dance I would look undeniably female. "I couldn't dance to save my life. And I'm not looking to share my bed tonight." I remember when I used to term hook up with the boys. They all looked at me like I had grown another head. I explained what it meant. Least of all with a girl. That would just be plain awkward. I had no issue with lesbians and gays…but I myself was not lesbian.

"I haven't seen him that happy in ages." Danny commented most likely watching Raif and Evelyn walk out of the club.

"Well…it's a good thing isn't it?" I asked lightly. He nodded. "For some reason I always thought clubs like these would be…"

"More amusing?" he supplied helpfully. I nodded with a frown, my eyebrows furrowing.

"That one girl by the bar won't stop staring and it's weird…" I muttered momentarily forgetting that I was in fact a guy, and I was sitting close to a guy. He quirked an eyebrow and subtly looked for the girl in question.

"You know…I thought I was shy around women." I gave him a dead pan stare. "Your as red as a tomato."

"I hate going out." I groaned bowing my head.

"I think I'm turning in for the night." I nodded in agreement and walked out of the club with him. "You know Raif's leaving?" I pretended to be shocked.

"What? Why? I thought he would be assigned with the rest of us." Danny sighed his shoulders slumping, his face drawn.

"He got assigned to go to England. He's going to be fighting in the war." I bit my lip thinking of something, anything to say. With a breath I laid a hand on his arm.

"Hey don't get down because of it. It's Raif we're talking about. He'll make it back. If anyone could survive Hitler and his craziness it's Raif." I said with a slight squeeze and let go. "He'll live. Don't loose faith in that." I murmured even more quietly. The air was tense, and I didn't fully understand why. I quietly glanced over at my silent walking companion to see his face was contorted with confusion. Did I say something weird again?

He didn't talk the whole way back to the hotel all of us were booked to stay at. I declined to go up to my room. Instead I sat outside on the concrete and watched the people still awake pass by. My hand held my head up as I practically dozed while watching the night. Then Raif and Evelyn came walking by. I was thankfully in the shadows and un seen. I kind of liked being alone at the moment. But like all things I liked it came to an end.

"Sky?" I glanced behind to see Raif looking at me like I was crazy. He walked up to me and sat down. "Why are you out here?"

"Thinking." I said with a shrug.

"Ahh…" he nodded in understanding. Looks like we all had a lot to think about.

"I heard your leaving." my voice sounded quiet within the still bustling city. I guess New York never slept in the thirties either.

"Danny told ya?" I nodded.

"I also heard you'd been assigned. But that's not the case is it?" I glanced at him and saw his mouth agape. "Don't worry I didn't tell him. I kind of figured you lied for a reason."

"Can you do something for me?"

"Sure." I ran a hand through my hair.

"Look after him why'll I'm gone alright? He can get in trouble without even realizing it." oh how right you are Raif…

"Of course." I said with a smile and a nod. "Well…it's almost four and I'm tired. Bye Raif. I better see you again."

"I'll try my hardest."

"Ya you better because you can't leave Evelyn like that." I said without really thinking and walked into the hotel. The moment my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

Raif left like planned…and we were all shipped out to Hawaii. It was like a dream seeing the base. The beautiful nature, huge ships, and air fields were a whole lot to take in. It was like those big huge hunks of metal belonged there. They didn't look unnatural. The sleeping quarters here weren't any better then the ones at the other base. We still had communal showers.

First thing was first. We had a run down of the whole base. The next was getting our stuff unpacked. The final thing was to get familiar with everything else. We had the day off. I slipped into a loose fitting t-shirt and knee length shorts to go exploring the place. I declined getting a ride with Red and Anthony. I'd rather walk.

I've been here before…Pearl Harbor. It was surreal to see it in it's former glory. To see Battle Ship Row, with magnificent Arizona still standing tall. I felt my chest constrict at the thought of all the lives that would be lost within a few months time. So many people would die…I could too. If I wasn't careful. Oh great how would I live through the attack?

This new piece of information had me stumped. I wouldn't stand by idly. I had to get into a plane…I had to kill those Japs that were planning on destroying this base. Japs…holy…I was getting use to it here. Well I had been spending years in the old days. I could barely remember my own time. This was bad. What would happen if I died here? What happened to me there? My plane was crashing…I couldn't turn it on. It just shut off…oh my god…no matter what I'm going to di-

"Sky!" a voice pierced my self induced freak out and I jerked in the direction of the person who had yelled my name. it was Danny…and he looked a little freaked out. "Are you alright?" my eyebrows furrowed. Why would he… I looked down at my hands. They were clenched in fists in front of me…blood dripped between my fingers.

"I'm fine." I answered opening my hands seeing the rather deep crescent shaped nail marks in my palms. "Perfectly fine." he nodded slowly, clearly not believing me. "Really I'm okay just a…remembering something completely unpleasant."

"Alright…just keep the self mutilation to a minimum alright?" he asked with a half smile. I chuckled nodding along with him.

"So what you up to today?" I asked after a few moments of silence. He shrugged nonchalantly. "That's it? A shrug? Well I was planning on finding the nearest store and buying something random, but then I got side tracked."

"Why would you buy something random?" he asked giving me an apprehensive look. He obviously still thought something was wrong with me.

"You've never just randomly bought something? Seriously?" I asked with wide eyes. He shook his head. "Well come on then." I said walking in the direction I knew the stores were at. We were near the town anyhow. He followed like I knew he would.

"What is so special about shopping for things? You're reminding me of a girl." he commented while we walked through the store. I glanced at him before looking back to the shelves.

"Because if you look in the right places you find the weirdest trinkets." sifted through the things on the shelf. "Aha!" I grabbed the thing that caught my eye and held it up for him to see. It was a Hitler pin cushion.(AN: I just had to use it.)He was bent over with his pants down, the cushion was his butt. The little thing had his face in a pained expression. Upon seeing it Danny busted up laughing. I grinned triumphantly and tossing the thing to him. "You see?"

"Yes I understand now. Shopping can be entertaining." after that he helped me in the search to find entertaining things to buy. There were a few other weird little things that had us loosing our breath. All in all I bought four things. "I can't believe I spent an hour shopping."

"Well it didn't seem like an hour right?" I asked with a twist of my head. He shook his head no, his brown hair shifting with the movement. "So it was a success."

"What was?" he asked as we walked down the street.

"Getting you to understand that shopping isn't hell." he blinked blankly at me. "If your wondering why I like shopping blame it on my mother and five sisters. I was one of two boys in the family." lying came so easily to me now.

"Ouch." I nodded sadly.

"Hey guys you want a ride back?" we looked to the car that pulled up. Within it was Red, Betty, and Anthony. We nodded and I hopped in the back with Red and Betty while Danny took shot gun.

"So Sky what'd you been doing all day?" Betty asked with an ecstatic smile.

"Shopping and walking." her mouth dropped.

"You like to shop!" she squealed nearly blowing my ear off.

"Uhh…not exactly like…but I don't not enjoy it either." I stumbled along hoping I didn't act that girly today. I hadn't really meant to if I had.

"That's soo cool what'd you buy?" I smiled a sly little smile and pulled the plastic gag spider Danny had found. It was a widely known fact that Anthony had a phobia to the eight legged creatures. I put my finger to my lips before leaning forward and dropping the spider directly onto Anthony's lap.

"OH MY GOD!" he screeched stopping the car and jumping out of it, while hopping about. The spider fell to the floor when he stood. "That was not funny!" he tried telling us in a firm tone but all we could do was life. I had the right mind to pick up the plastic spider before he drove it over.

"B-bye B-betty!" Red called when we dropped her off at the house some of the nurses were staying at.

"Bye Red!" she waved before disappearing into the house. While we were driving to our _house_ I couldn't help but notice the silly little grin Red had.

"You really like that girl don't you." I said in a warm voice. I wished one day I had what he had found with Betty.

"Y-ya…" I smiled at him.

"That's great man. Really great." that night I fell into deep sleep. I was so glad I didn't dream.

AN: Finding a place to stop is extremely difficult, so I go with her falling asleep. Review and tell me what you think. Till next time!


	4. They Were Real Now

AN: Sorry for the wait, I've had state testing and that takes up all my energy, so I haven't been able to post a chapter. I usually don't incorporate songs into my stories, but it kind of worked it's way into the chapter. Please review and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pearl harbor, and I don't own Elysian Fields by Casey Frazier.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 4: They Were Real Now

Weeks passed in a slow pace. Almost vacationy feel, except we still worked, and logged in flight hours. We were a Navy/ Air Force base after all. I had gotten hit in the head by a wrench Gooz accidentally dropped and need four stitches across my forehead. It healed quickly and I had a pretty neat looking scar because of it. I knew it was coming though…the day when we would learn of Raif's death, but he wasn't dead. Gods how I wished I could tell them that when it happened.

Things between Danny and me were absolutely weird. He was an easy person to hang out with and talk to that much was for certain. But I always had the biggest feeling he was uncomfortable around me now. So I hung out with Anthony when he wasn't a trying to pick up nurses, Red when he wasn't with Betty, or I helped out Earl with the planes. It was usually always the latter three. Red seemed to always be with Betty on his free time, and let's face it Anthony was always trying to get nurses.

I had caught the eye of a certain nurse, and rightfully evaded her when I could. During things like nights out I was forced to ask her on a date, because if I didn't I'd end up being with Danny all night, and he didn't seem to take kindly to that. She liked giggling at everything I said and clung to my arm like I was a lifeline. And man oh man was it embarrassing to say goodnight. I would kiss her very gentleman like on the cheek and go to the car where the guys would be hooting away at me. I mean seriously how immature could they get?

I had somewhat of a hard time smuggling in tampons now. Since the town near the base was so small. I always ran into someone I knew. So I had to create an alter ego me…really I would go shopping on my day off, getting food or something while carrying a nurses uniform dress stuffed expertly through my shirt to look like it was nothing. I would enter a very dark corner in somewhere, change like lightening, run out buy the tampons and run back to the dark corner to change into a guy again. It was nerve wracking.

At the moment I was taking a shower at one in the morning. It was the time where everyone in my barrack was dead asleep. The water was warm and massaged the tension out of my shoulders. Lifting my head to the stream I allowed myself to enjoy the feel of the water against my skin. I so rarely got to expose my torso.

It was weird refusing to swim with everyone, but I stated simply I was almost drowned as a kid and had a fear of water these days. I kept up my shaving while taking these showers as well. I didn't particularly like using a guy razor and the foam stuff…but it was either that or risk looking like a jungle had grown under my arms, and I was not about to go that far to look like a guy. When asked about my obvious hairless appearance I would say I simply never grew hair when going through puberty.

"Why are you-" I turned wildly around to see Danny staring wide eyes in the doorway to the showers. I yelped and spun back around and crouched to the floor. The water was now pounding away on my back…and it didn't feel good.

"I know this looks bad." I stated staring wide eyes at the tile floor. Ohshitohshitohshitoshit. With shaking fingers I turned the water off.

"Uhh…if you haven't ran away would you turn around?" I heard the soft padding of feet turning. I stood and turned. Danny's back was to me and even though it was nearly pitch black beside the moonlight filtering in through the window near the ceiling I could clearly see he was tense. Like explosive tense. I grabbed the towel I had hung up and wrapped it firmly around my body. I was going to tell him he could turn around, when I remembered in this time wearing a long sleeved nightgown that dragged on the floor was seen as revealing.

"I know this looks really really bad." I said again while I tugged on my clothes. I had to force my voice to sound normal. It was a habit to keep it a slightly lower key then normal. Once I was fully dressed I bit my lip. "You can turn around." he did…very very slowly. I hadn't bothered putting on my wrappings again…I would need to explain myself fully right now.

"Would you care to explain?" he asked a blush spread across his face, his Adams apple bobbing despite the fact that his eyes were narrowed angrily.

"Umm…could we talk outside? It'd bad enough you know." I muttered walking passed him and hoping he followed. He did. The cool fresh air hit me like a blast in the face. I took a deep breath and started walking. He walked beside me. "Ask any question and I'll answer."

"Why are you here?" the question was automatic. I crossed my arms, I was still slightly damp and the air was kind of chilly.

"Isn't that obvious? I'm here to serve my country." a country that I had been thrown about seven decades in the past.

"Why the Air Service though? Why a pilot?" I turned on him causing him to stopped abruptly.

"Do not even think about saying just because I'm a girl means I can't be a pilot. I am as good as you and Raif. You've seen me fly." I ground out with anger I hadn't known since my brother died.

"Why not a nurse?" a scoffed disgustedly and started walking again.

"Because that's what we're suppose to do. Raif's mom knows I'm a girl." I added in.

"And she didn't say anything? Well she did like you." his anger was gone. Thank the Gods for that. I hated confronting people when they were angry.

"Look I know you have no reason to do this for me…after all I've been lying to you and everyone since the very beginning but could you please not tell anyone that I'm a girl?" his silence almost made me want to cry. I had worked hard to be a pilot. I was Lieutenant Penber. My friends called me Sky. I had made a life here and if he told, then all of that would be gone. I'd most likely be sent to jail and that'd be that. I'd be gone.

"You're a good pilot. I won't say anything." I let out a large sigh.

"Thank you thank you thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." No he probably did…flying up there meant as much to him as it meant to me.

"How could you do it though? For that long?" he asked as we stopped near the beach.

"I got good at lying and sneaking around." I shrugged listening the waves crash against the shore.

"Soo all those times with the women…that's why your so bashful around them." he chuckled lightly like he found out some great mystery.

"Yaa…I do not like my own gender. It got really uncomfortable when they all pushed me to take that one girl out. And then she tries kissing me in the movie theatre that one time…" I shivered from the memory. It took all my control not to tell her very firmly I was a chick and held absolutely no attraction to her.

"You've been changing in the same room as us all for years…and we walk around…wow." I could just feel the heat coming off his skin. Completely embarrassed now.

"Trust me you learn to ignore it after awhile. I've been one of the guys for years. Though just recently I've been having a really hard time not being a girl." I frowned chewing on my fingernail. "So anymore questions?"

"Nope. I'm all out."

"Wanna head back? I have to get wrapped up or there's going to be a female pilot walking around." we laughed lightly as we walked back to the barrack. So crisis officially averted…and he took that a helluva lot better then I expected. Once I was properly manified, Danny already going to bed before so, I went to my bed. I couldn't sleep at all.

It was just before lunch time when it happened. It was all our day's off, being Sunday. Well actually the off days went in rotation, it just happened to be a Sunday. I was reading a book I had bought earlier that week from the used book store. It was Wuthering heights. I loved that book as I was growing up. I had to hide the cover from everyone or I would seriously be ragged on. Danny and I were called up to the Major's office. He delivered the letter.

It went by in quick jerky like pictures after that. I remember being handed the keys to the green car. The car everyone feared pulling up to their door. I remember going back to the barrack and getting dressed into the full uniform. I remember driving to the house Evelyn lived in. I remember watching Danny hug Evelyn as she broke down. The one image I remember most was being told to go back. He'd walk back.

I parked the car back where it came from and returned the keys. I didn't go back. I walked to the local hula hut. I was a terrible drunk, but I didn't care at the moment. I needed the drunken haze.

"What would you like?" the bartender asked.

"Can I have a double of the strongest thing you got?" I asked slumping into the chair. It turned out to be whiskey. I down it, and a second, a third, and a fourth.

Though I knew in my heart Raif was alive, because the movie happened that way, I could not come to believe it anymore. I have lived in this place too long. Everything was real now, not just some movie playing out on the screen. Raif was a real human being who was in terrible danger of dying, or already dead. Evelyn was a confused grieving woman, who finds her solace in the best friend of her dead boyfriend. Danny was going to die when he went on that secret mission. He was going to be shot. These people were real…Betty was going to die. Billy was going to be blown up. They were all going to die.

Another burning mouthful down my throat. I was seeing double now. The world around me twisted and jumbled into a colorful mess. I stood and swayed on spot. I took one haggard step after another, determined to get my ass out of the bar. I stumbled over the steps and nearly crashed into a couple of Navy boys. I mumbled my apologies and went struggling into the sand. I liked the hula hut for being so close to the beach. I tripped and stumbled to the shore before falling flat on my ass and laid down.

I had three months until the bombing took place. Three small months to live before I too died. Because I knew I would die. I would die because I didn't belong here in the first place. Not at all…I didn't belong here. The sand felt warm to me. It's grainy texture soft to touch. I smiled haphazardly and wiggled further into the sand.

"So that's what the bartender meant by a drunk bird." the voice sounded vaguely familiar in my drunken stupor. I didn't care to waste the headache on trying to remember. "He was my best friend yet you beat me to the getting drunk part." Danny…most definitely Danny.

"We're all gunna die one of these days…" I mumbled squirming again. Trying to bury myself in the sand.

"You're drunk. You need to get some rest." strong hands gripped my shoulders pulling me into a sitting position easily. I jerked myself away from the person.

"Don't touch me." I hissed. "Just…don't right now…please." I heard a large sigh and someone sat down next to me.

"You know most women cry hysterically when their emotionally distressed." he supplied probably trying to be helpful in some weird way.

"Well they didn't have a drunk for a father." I rolled my head towards him. "Watching him do it…well it just rubbed off." I shrugged my body feeling heavy. "Have you ever read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury?"

"Who?" oops.

"Oops wrong decade sorry…" I giggled and hiccupped. "That won't come into existence until the fifties."

"You are really drunk." I nodded with a lazy smile. "And weren't you taught it's improper to get drunk?" he asked me seriously.

"Danny boy…where I'm from twelve year olds are more drunk then I am." he gave me a look between puzzlement and amusement. "That's a good song to… I believe it's Irish. Can't remember the words…but it says Danny boy a lot." I nodded more to myself then him. I yawned and fell sideways…my face being squished by his shoulder.

"And it's time to get you to bed." he said getting ready to stand up. I grabbed his arm to keep him there.

"Noo…stayyy…your comfortable." I whined taking in a deep breath. It smelt like the ocean and him. I scooted closer.

"No we can't stay."

"Why noot?" I asked childishly my arm firmly wrapped around his, my face buried in his the sleeve of his shirt.

"Because you're a guy on the base." the sentence held importance I know it did.

"If I wasn't a guy could we stay?" I heard a sigh.

"Yaa…if you weren't a guy." he stated sounding exhausted. "Now come on we have to go." he stood ignoring my mumbled protests. I held me up from under my arm as I stumbled along side him. He rolled me into my bed.

"Night Danny…" I said curling around my pillow. I heard his distant night before blackness consumed me.

"Helloooo?" a voice screamed in my ear. I jolted off the bed and was bombarded with laughter. I looked around and saw the perpetrator was Anthony.

"You are going to pay for that-" I felt my stomach give a painful twist and I was into the bathroom within seconds.

"You had far to much to drink last night." Danny reprimanded me when I finally dragged myself into work. We were working on fixing up a few of the planes with Earl.

"What are you my mother?" I growled out as my head pounded in rhythm with my heart beat. The day passed at an agonizing slow pace.

"Come on. We got somewhere to be." Danny informed me dragging me away from the plane. The memorial service for Raif. I wanted to yell out to the world that he was alive. But I couldn't do that. Not one bit at all. It just wouldn't go over well. I took the shot of alcohol as was custom. Then it was back to work. I could swear on everyone's life that that day was the worst day I had ever experienced.

Then I have to do laundry when I'm done because my uniform is filled with sand from my drunken state. I halfway remembered what happened, all I knew was that Danny appeared and dragged me back to my bed. That was it. Oh and I mentioned something about the fifties. Which made no sense to my non drunk mind. Well anyways doing laundry sucked because most of the guys asked you to wash stuff for them because they didn't want to.

"No I refuse to touch that." I said adamantly as I was about to haul a large bag of laundry to the laundry to the washing machine we had in the next room. There were also clothes lines within the large room.

"Please Sky!" he pleaded as I dragged the bag across the floor.

"No." I managed to get into the room. I was okay at working the machine. It took hours, but once everything was done I was dead on my feet and fell into a deep sleep.

A month passed. Danny was depressed and no one could get him out of it. He was either working on a plane or flying one. It was hard for the rest of us to see him this way, but we couldn't do much. We weren't the ones that lost someone who the only thing keeping them from being brothers was DNA.

Red, Anthony and the rest were getting ready for a night out. I had declined stating I wanted to write home and go to sleep. Danny just plain declined. I watched with slight envy as they walked through the door all smiles and joking. The girls they all had must have been some lucky gals. Though they could be a pain and assholes, they were all good at the heart. Once it was safe that they were gone I stood from my bed.

"I'm taking a shower. Talk really really loud if someone comes in alright?" I asked glancing over at Danny who was laying in his bed reading something. He nodded. I grabbed my towel and my pajama's before going into the bathroom. The shower felt extra good, considering it was only six and not one am and I wasn't bone tired. I towel dried, wrapped myself up again, and pulled on the shirt and pants.

It was silent. The complete silence that held that annoying ringing noise. I looked down at the blank piece of paper. I didn't have anyone to write. No one I knew that wasn't on the island wasn't even born yet. Well maybe my great grandfather. But I didn't know where he lived. I tapped my pen against the paper. It didn't help the silence. So I started singing…I wasn't the greatest of singers, but I was told by a lot of people I could sing so I wasn't shy about it. Any songs I sang anyhow no one would know. I had one song I could remember most of.

"_If I die, give my body to sun… _

_Please don't cry, just feel the tears and let me run_

_But the echoes sparsely tell me where to go_

_And I'm stuck between the rain and the snow…_

_I didn't think dying would so hard_

_I didn't think living would be so hard"_

"What are you singing?" I looked over to where Danny was sitting down. The book was closed and he was looking at me with curious eyes.

"It's called Elysian Fields. Do you want me to stop? I didn't mean to bother you." I grimaced hoping I hadn't sounded terrible.

"No…I like it. Your voice is very pretty." I looked at my paper to hide the blush. I knew I was missing words somewhere.

"_And the paper let me use it's face_

_To tell you of all my disgrace_

_And I'm sorry if you didn't say goodbye_

_Yes I'm sorry if I ever made you cry._

_But none of this time was wasted on you_

_I thought I was fine walking in these shoes_

_But the water was just to cold_

_And your words were just to bold_

_Then summer came that early spring_

_An my lungs let out a breath and then a scream _

_and as I lie here dying, you haven't lost a thing_" I took a deep breath before continuing. There was a pause in the music anyways…well if their was music going there would be a pause.

"_These lonely eyes are letting go of pain_

_So if I die, let my blood leave a stain_…"

"Who sings that?" I had come up with a lie when I thought of singing the song.

"Well…one of my sisters wrote the words, but I always sang it." I shrugged feeling really self conscious. I hadn't sang in front of anyone for a really long time.

"She's talented then, and you only better the words." my heart pounded in my chest. I almost wanted to beg him not to compliment me. It was too harsh for me.

"Thank you…" I chewed on my lower lip. "Do you want to know something?" I asked suddenly sitting up in the bed and staring across the room at him.

"Sure." he said staring right back at me with those warm brown eyes.

"I don't think Raif's dead." I held up my hand to silence his protest. "Just hear me out alright?" he closed his mouth and nodded. '_Tread carefully…'_ I advised myself before speaking. "He is the single most determined guy I've met. Okay so his plane is shot down and he was unable to get out before it went into the ocean, but do you seriously think that would stop him? Like deep down if he survived crashing into the water would he just give up?" I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. Danny was very intelligent. He would figure it out. He would know the real answer.

"No…he'd do everything he could to survive. But Sky I don't think he's alive." I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall.

"Well I don't think he's dead." I said with a stiff tone. Why can't you see that he wouldn't die? It's so obvious that he wouldn't die…it happens a lot in war movies. Oh ya…this was real life now. This wasn't some movie. But by Gods did I really have to watch Danny fall in love with a woman who the moment Raif come's back will only stay with him out of duty? He was so innocent when it came to love, yet he was walking into the most complex relationship that would end in him being heart broken. But wait…no he dies…he doesn't get to have his heart broken. His heart just stops beating. He gets shot by a Japanese soldier. I clenched my jaw angrily and laid back down on my stomach to come face to face with the most hideous looking creature I had ever seen. "AHHHHHH!" I screamed vaulting off the bed.

"What's wrong!" Danny yelled running to where I was. I stared wide eyed at the creature stationed on my bed. I pointed with a shaking finger and he turned to see the thing. The rat. I didn't expect him to double over with laughter. I smacked his shoulder.

"That's not funny!"

"It's a rat…a rat…" he wheezed.

"Just get it off my bed!" I said smacking his arm again. He nodded weakly yes still trying to stop laughing. He picked the nasty thing up by the tail and quietly deposited outside the front door.

"You are so lucky we're the only ones here right now or you'd be figured out as a girl." he said with a goofy smile. I pouted crossing my arms. I didn't like being laughed at. "Ahhh…c'mon admit it…that was pretty funny."

"No it wasn't. That was creepy as hell." I leaned against the wall unwilling to get back onto my bed. Danny sat on Red's bed that was next to mine.

"You're just angry you lost your tough guy exterior." he stated still smiling. I looked away from it or I would start smiling as well. "I'll take that as a yes." I glanced back at him seeing his eyebrows raised in an arrogant smirk. I crossed my arms over my chest and bent down till we were eye level.

"That's a no." I said with narrowed eyes.

"Then why are you so worked up about it hmm?" my face dropped a second and that was answer enough. He chuckled, and I felt his breath on my skin. It was then that I realized we were pretty close to each other's face. Our noses were almost touching. He must of realized it at the same moment because his chocolate brown eyes met mine in an instant. I kind of already figured what would happen next.

AN: Review and tell me what you think.


	5. War Was an Evil Substance

AN: Sorry for leaving you guys hanging like that on the obvious cliff hanger, but I have been obsessing over a non fan fiction story I am writing and spaced about this one. Here is the next chapter, and it's a bit short. Review and tell me what you think.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 5: War Was an Evil Substance

He tilted his head slightly, and I felt warm lips press into mine. My heart pounded wildly in my chest. I felt him apply more pressure to the kiss and a hand came to the back of my neck holding me in place. I slightly parted my lips as a silent invitation. His tongue was hot against mine. The kiss was slow, nothing was rushed as we explored each other. My hands encircled his neck as I stepped closer to him his knee parting my legs slightly. I felt his other hand lightly grasp my hip before pulling me fully onto his lap. The sound of a car door slamming broke the trance we had seemed to fallen into.

We both scrambled away from one another. I moved onto my bed no longer caring about the rat, and he went over four beds in record time back to his own. I knew I was blushing like a kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and I hoped everyone mistook it for something else.

"We're baaack!" Anthony announced as he strode into the room. Billy, Red, and the rest stumbled in after him. "You two suuure did miss out on a bunch of fun!" he rambled as he fell into his bed.

"Y-y-ya m-m-m-me and B-b-b-etty d-d-danced A-all n-n-night." Red said while he undressed into his underwear. I nodded like I was listening to all their stories, but my mind was on one in particular guy in the room. And my lips were tingling.

"How's your night?" Billy asked when he finally figured out how to untie his shoes. I looked up and my gaze met Danny's.

"Alright." we answered simultaneously before looking away from one another.

"Something's different…I can't pin point it." my world froze for a fraction of a second. "AHh I know why…the lights on! Turn off the light would ya?" Anthony asked me. I scowled at him but did what he asked anyways.

That night I lay in bed, listening to the snoring and mumbles of the others. I stare at the darkened ceiling wandering if he was doing the same. I hadn't meant to kiss him. I don't think he even meant to kiss me. It just happened…and now…oh great now I would be bone tired, and distracted. I closed my eyes and prayed for sleep the rest of the night.

When the sun finally rose I was already wide awake. I got dressed into my clothes for the day. I planned on getting in some flight hours today. It was the same routine as any other day. While the guys all shaved their faces I rummaged through my belongings. When we were all dressed we went to the small airfield most of us used.

I was up in my plane in no time. I let out a breath as I went through the routines. Simple and soothing. That was what flying was like. Just simple and soothing. I landed feeling renewed and a smile on my face. I loved planes and these were one of the reasons.

"How's she doing?" Earl asked when I climbed out of the cockpit.

"Pretty well, though a little jerkier then normal when landing." he nodded seriously. I rubbed the back of my neck and went to find something I could do.

Two more months passed and I never talked to Danny about that kiss. The opportunity to never seemed to arise itself. That and we were never alone anymore. Though he did seem a lot more cheerful then the first month. He started going out again, and now it was me declining to go drinking with them. Since I never liked to drink anyhow it was a real waste of time for me. Today we were testing out the guns on one of the planes. Gooz and me were working below it while Red and Danny were seeing things from above. The deafening sound of gunshots rang out in the hanger.

I knew exactly what was going to happen. Evelyn would walk in here with her tight blood red dress and tell Danny that it wasn't good for people to think something was going on between them when there wasn't. Then she would start walking away when Danny would call out and ask if she'd ever seen a sun set from the sky. I wrinkled my nose in distaste as he stopped shooting and started shouting at us what was wrong. We were all a little hearing impaired after shooting off the guns.

"Lookie boys we got a visitor!" sounded like Anthony whistled, all of their attention going to Evelyn who was strutting up. I glared into the plane.

"That ain't no sailor either."

"I think she's here for you Danny." someone else I didn't bother registering the name called. Cue Danny freaking out like a school boy. Razzing from the guys and here we go…

"I think I'm fallen for her." I did not expect to bang my head on a cross beam. I grit my teeth against the pain and got out from underneath the plane. More guy talk…yada yada.

"C'mon Sky we gotta do that thing." Gooz said motioning me to follow. I scowled threw a glance back at little miss Evelyn and followed the rest of them out of the hanger.

The rest of the day I was mad. Why? One simple word. Jealousy. I was jealous that in the end Evelyn would get Danny to fall for her. I didn't belong here anyhow, so I could be jealous all I wanted, but I would not interfere. The kiss was bad enough. I made my mind up about something. If I was assigned to the top secret mission as well and I was in one of Raif's or Danny's plane when they crash landed in China. I would do everything I could to keep him alive. He deserved to see the birth of his son.

I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and dragged my sorry ass to the beach and watched the sunset. Oh how I loathed that stupid sunset. I scrunched my nose as the sky turned it's oranges and pinks. The colors reflecting off the water, turning the world into one sparkling landscape. It would have been beautiful if I wasn't so down. I knew why I was acting this way…I just didn't like it. I shouldn't of allowed it to happen, but it did. I had fallen for Danny. And it sucked.

I still sat there after the sun went down. And in my mind replayed the sex scene in the movie. I tried to stop it, but it wouldn't work. All I could see was them together. I drew up my knees, and rested my elbows on them before interlocking my fingers behind my head. I kept my gaze steady on the sand. I would of loved to be able to cry all my frustrations away, but that wasn't an option here. I couldn't do that. I lifted my head, clasping my hands over my mouth. I watched as the moon made it's very slow ascent into the sky.

"What are ya doing out here?" a body landed next to mine. I knew who it was. I turned my head slowly to the person, my eyes flat. Danny was freshly showered, in a t-shirt and pants, cheeks flushed, water still clinging to his hair, his eyes sparkling, and an idiotic grin on his face. I pointed silently to the moon. "You're watching the moon rise?" I nodded and went back to staring at pale silver moon. "Wouldn't you rather watch a sunset? It's a lot prettier."

"Sunsets are completely overrated." mentally I went through all the movies that had a romantic sunset scene. "Watching the moon is much more peaceful, and not overused." the moon brought silver light, painting the world in a somber tone. Sunsets set the world ablaze. Something I didn't exactly like at the moment.

"Huh…I guess." he shrugged his leg twitching as if he didn't want to be sitting still.

"You sure seem…hyper this evening." hyper? Really? Is that the only word I could think of? Yes…yes it was.

"Really? I didn't notice." I closed my eyes hoping to block him out completely…or at least make him go away. No such luck. He couldn't sleep. And neither could I.

"Of course you didn't." I answered extremely late. "Why are you so energetic anyhow?" I already know…spare me the answer please.

"Nothing you'd be interested in." I nodded slowly. I wanted to ask him one question. How could he sleep with his best friends girl? Sure the dude's dead to you guys but come on! She waited three months until going to the next guy…three months. She claimed she loved Raif, yet in three short months she's spreading her legs for his best friend.

"Do you wanna know something I really hate?" I asked staring intensely at the moon.

"What?" he didn't sound like he actually wanted to know.

"Two timing whores…" not the prettiest language for a lady I know. "They claim to have all the love in the world for this one person, but in the nick of time their already on their backs for someone else. I mean really who does that? Well actually one of my friends girlfriend's was like that. But that's not important. That person, girl or guy claimed to love the person, yet if something happened to the person they claimed to love, like they moved away. Then in no time the other person who spoke so vehemently about loving someone is already willing to be in the arms of another." I stopped to take a breath, and noticed the cheery vibe coming from Danny had receded greatly. Oh yes I knew exactly what I was doing.

"But what if that person had already moved on? Or needed to move on?" he asked in a quiet voice.

'_Gods I'm sorry for hurting you Danny, but I'm a selfish person.'_ "The acceptable period of grieving a loved one is at least a seven months to a year if not longer. Love is some serious business…and I absolutely hate people who treat it like a toy." I didn't care how sincere Evelyn might have been with her feelings or anything else. I didn't like her. "Sorry if I ruined your mood." I mumbled after a while.

"No it's fine." which meant it really wasn't. One thing that never changed through the ages…people lying about their true feelings.

"I just feel really bad about that second person though.." I stated stretching out my legs.

"Why?" I looked up to the moon again before looking down at the ocean.

"Their always the one to get hurt…it's just…how life works." I stood fluidly. "Well I'm tired…don't stay out too long or you'll catch a cold." I walked off the beach and toward the barrack.

My next few weeks were spent avoiding and ignoring Danny and Evelyn. It really really ticked me off that they were everywhere I went, though I knew it wasn't their fault. The town was just really small. Oh did I ever mention Red and Betty were engaged? Well yaa…they got engaged and I felt even more pained at the thought that she was going to die. That couple I had no issue with tagging along as the third wheel. Plus Betty loved the fact that I enjoyed shopping.

I think most of my friends felt bad for me. I was literally the only one not in a relationship besides Gooz and Earl, but they didn't count. I couldn't care less about it, well okay I cared a lot, but it wasn't my place to be with someone. I was going to either die or live on December 7th, 1941. I couldn't believe I'd been in this time for so long. I was weary and just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to go home because I was crashing in a plane back home. Either way…I might die.

I was perfectly okay with that as well. Dying. I would accept my fate if I was brought back to my home and crashed in the plane and died. And I would be okay if I was killed during the air raid. Coming to accept that took me a while, but it happened. I was okay with dying. Oh what a wonderful day this would be. The date today was December 6th, 1941. Evelyn would find out she was pregnant with Danny's baby, and Raif would appear.

I was getting ready to go to the airfield that wouldn't be hit until Danny and Raif got there the next morning when he got the letter. The one that said Raif was alive and kicking. He had completely stopped moving.

"Hey Danny you okay man?" I asked walking over to him. He simply held out the letter gram thing. "I told you he wasn't dead." I handed it back to him with a sympathetic smile. I really did feel bad for him. He was the one hurt in the end. It is always the second one that is hurt.

"I have to go find Evelyn. Tell her the news." he sprinted off out of the Barrack. I sighed feeling a heavy weight drop in my chest. I pulled on the hula shirt, because really do you think I would break that awesome attire they wore during the dog fight? I planned on getting up in that air tomorrow. I was the next best pilot. I didn't plan on being blown up either. I took Red's car and drove to the lonely airfield. Earl wouldn't wake up till the morning. With a big sigh I turned the engine off and made my way to a bunker. I hunkered down and leaned my head on the bar, hoping to get enough sleep to be alert tomorrow.

"What're ya doin' here sleepin?" was the question I woke up to. My eyes opened groggily to reveal Earl looking down at me like I was crazy. Then my brain actually caught up and my eyes snapped open. I stood so swiftly Earl had to take a step back.

"There's no time to explain you have to get these planes up and ready." I said hurriedly with wide eyes.

"What why?" he gave me an incredulous look. I gave a frustrated grunt.

"Please just listen to me. We have to get these plane's ready before-" the first boom blasted in the distance. He eyed me warily. "I'm psychic. Now would you hurry and let's get these planes loaded up!"

"You're a crazy ass lad that's for sure." he muttered. We worked quickly. "Hurry it up boys!" the other guys working and I was almost finished fueling up the last plane when he got the call from Danny. "What the hells going down there? It's like your having fourth of July!" he exclaimed. Another distant boom and he set the phone down. "He asked to get the planes ready. How did you know?" he asked when I finished with the gas.

"Because I do. I'm not a spy sir…I just…see things before they happen." I shrugged and wiped my forehead exhaustedly. The fight was coming…and coming quick. Just like in the movie they all poured out of the speeding car.

"Are the planes ready?" Danny asked sparing me a confused glance.

"Yep, Sky here was yelling at me to get 'em up long before you called." Now everyone gave me a confused look.

"Look I don't even want to know why you were here early but we got Zero's everywhere. Earl where's the rest of the ammunition? We gotta get that M50 hooked up." Raif took charge easily.

"Ya in the ammunition closet." the most thought out name in the world. We got all the guns and power. Now all we had to do was make it to planes.

"Japs!" someone hissed and we were all huddled behind a sand bag barrier. "Should I shut 'em?" Gooz of course.

"No don't shoot! They don't know we're here yet." Raif reprimanded the other man with a stern look. I watched with an almost sick fascination as the low to the ground flying planes flew passed. "Pilots I want you to have maximum speed before lifting off the ground, and when you do stay low in between the buildings." We made a run for it. It was fucking chaos. We started getting shot at for one, then people started dying. I didn't have the time to feel sickened by the death. As I started climbing into the cock pit a hard voice stilled me.

"You are not getting into that plane!" I heard Danny yell at me. I twisted to yell back.

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not!" he yelled with a look in his eye that told me it was all because I was a girl.

"Danny he's the best pilot next to us! You're going up!" Raif yelled at us. I nodded firmly at him and got into the plane. People were trying to help me get set up.

"I can do it…just go!" I hissed working as fast as my limbs could. I had to get in the fucking air quick or I was going to be toast. I started the engine and was on the runway when I heard the words that would of signaled the death of Billy, or Anthony. I momentarily forgot which one died.

"You got Zero's on your six boy. Turn!" I turned like my life depended on it and was in the air. It didn't take long for me to zig zag away from the soaring bullets. I knew I would have to fall back to meet up with Raif and Danny. It seemed only seconds before I was in a V formation with Raif and Danny, Raif being on point.

"We got Zero's on our six." Danny cursed. We were all dodging bullets and trying to fly.

"How many can you see?" I twisted as best I could to try and count.

"Bout five?" I asked uncertain of myself.

"Five." Danny confirmed.

"Well let's split 'em up." I went left, Raif went straight, and Danny went right. Out of the five one followed me. I grit my teeth in a grimace as I tried getting the Zero off of me. Or at least in front of me so I could shoot at it. It shot at me again. I could here the tings as bullets hit the wings. I moved as well as I could to get away from it. Then a thought occurred to me. With a grin that could be seen as insane I jerked the plane vertical. I flew straight for the cloud knowing the stupid plane would follow.

"I got two on my tail Raif." Danny's voice filtered through the microphone.

"You better be cocked and locked when I pass." their voices were oddly reassuring. I leveled myself out over the clouds and waited until the zero was right behind me. Raif and Danny started yelling about something. The Jap shot at me again. I heard a few more _twings _on the wings.

"You wanna play, I'll play." I grinned as I nose dived toward the earth. From far off I could see Danny and Raife readying to play chicken. "Well aint this gunna be fun."

"We're going right."

"Right!" as they barely soared passed each other I went vertical again. I laughed in satisfaction at the cacophony of noises that followed me. You had to have quick reflexes to do what we just did.

"Let's head to Battleship Row boys." Raif said as we got back into V formation. It was in complete ruin. I had to admit it was extremely satisfying to shoot a plane down in mid air. The adrenaline rush was nothing like I would of suspected. After it was all done. We landed the planes. And I really didn't want to listen to the stupid ass line that was about to play. I got out of the cock pit the same moment Danny answered that stupid question. I looked to Raif who stood all macho like and rolled my eyes. I climbed off the plane with a slight stumble. I was shaking from the adrenaline rush. Oh this was going to last for a while.

"Hey Sky you comin?" I looked over to see Raif and Danny getting into the car. I nodded and hopped into the back seat. I knew they were going to the hospital. Everything was in ruin. Raif was forced to stop the car when it got too hectic to drive.

"I'm going to go help the ships." I told them as they started walking towards the hospital. There was too much death around me. Too much misery. They nodded and we parted ways. "Where do you need me sir?" I asked a man who looked like a captain when I neared the Okalahoma.

"Help with getting the trapped out." he said his voice rough with grief. I nodded and went where I was needed.

There was only three blowing torches, and this was some thick steel. I knew people were going to be trapped. Thousands trapped to die underwater. I had a big wrench in my hand trying to force the metal away from the holes we were creating. Voices shouted up through the small holes.

"We need an oxygen tube!" the guy yelled. As we saw the water rising. Hands shot out through the holes, and I glanced to see Danny and Raif kneeling down to hold onto two of them. I hit harder with the wrench. Garbled yelling voices, silence…nothing but the sound of soldiers trying to save others. I stood clenching the wrench tight in my hand.

"They'll pay for this." I looked to Danny who was staring down at the limp hands, his eyes narrowed in untamed anger. Raif stood next.

"If we don't join the war now…America is ignorant." I stated looking across the water, seeing the floating dead bodies.

"Don't worry about that…We'll join." Raif stated with such conviction I knew he would do anything for his country. It was gruesome work after that.

Fishing bodies out of the water by the hundreds. Watching the dead pile up in front of the hospital. The terrible screams of the dying echoing across the land. The clanking, and noise rattling of people trapped within the ship only reminding us that we had failed on protecting them. When the sun was down I went to what use to be my barrack. It was half blown up.

I only wanted one thing from my stuff though. My brother's dog tags. I couldn't leave them there. I prayed to anyone that would listen it hadn't been destroyed. I was forced to roll and push debris out of the way to get to the trunk where I kept all my belongings. It was almost completely destroyed, but I didn't care anymore. With trembling hands I moved the burnt and broken stuff away. There on the very bottom was the tags. I sighed heavily in relief and picked them up. They clinked as they touched one another.

"One lucky son of a bitch." I muttered with tears in my eyes as I draped them around my neck. My new room was somewhere in the homes of the town. Those weren't hit.

It was a private room. I was one of the lucky ones. Some were sleeping outside. Gods everything was fucked up. I didn't sleep that night. I sat on the floor in front of my bed staring at the wall. I had seen more death now then I had in my entire life. War was an evil substance.

AN: Review and tell me what you think. Till next time!


	6. Bombs Can be Therapeutic

AN: Sorry for the delay I've just been putting off posting a chapter. So I made this one long to make up for it. Enjoy and review!

Living Through the Past

Chapter 6: Bombs can be therapeutic

It took days. Days to get all the dead out of the sea. The trapped soldiers still clanking away. Weeks it took weeks to identify all the dead. I could barely stand it all. On one morning I dressed in the Air Force uniform I had been given. Since mine was destroyed. I had a memorial service to go to.

I walked along side Raif as we went through the rows. We gathered around Betty's coffin. Red was crying in front of it. Danny was there with Evelyn. It didn't go unnoticed by me that Evelyn's eyes lingered on Raif when we walked up. I gently laid a hand on Red's shoulder, Evelyn's had was on his other one.

"We were going to get married…she didn't deserve to die." he murmured for once no stutter impairing his speech. I nodded though he couldn't see and removed my hand. So many dead.

"No one did. No one at all." I muttered looking at all the coffins. Most had pictures on them, some didn't. They couldn't be identified after what happened. I was shaking…trembling actually. Everything was too real. This was just suppose to be a movie. No one was suppose to actually be in that coffin. But it's all real. My chest constricted painfully and tears stung my eyes. It took a while, and I held my tears at bay. When we were all about to leave our names were called.

"Lieutenants Raif McCawley, Danny Walker, and Scott Penber." we stood at attention and saluted. He saluted back before smirking slightly. "You're going State side fly out in two hours." he handed us out the papers.

"What for sir?" Raif asked as we looked at the papers.

"Ask Colonel Doolittle." he walked away without another word. I looked at the paper blankly. I was going on the mission. I was going on the mission. Oh god…

I packed what little belongings I had, and hoped that I wouldn't run out of tampons and the pads that I bought. I took a taxi to the plane. I saw Danny sitting on the bench. Nodded in greeting and kept going on the plane.

No matter how much I wanted to sit down next to him and tell him what I thought; I couldn't do it. It wasn't in my place to. I would do this mission, and try and stay alive long enough to save him from dying. That was what I would do. That was what I was setting my goal for. I didn't have another place in this world other then that. Still I couldn't help but feel the burn of jealousy.

The plane ride there wasn't the best or worst I've been on since getting into this time. But what did pull me up short was the three of us, Raif, Danny, and me, being called away from the group to see Colonel Doolittle.

"Right through here." the guy escorting us said. He opened the door Saluted and said, "Colonel" Colonel Doolittle looked up from his papers. We saluted him before standing attention.

"Congratulations on your promotion sir." Raif said, and I had the distinct feeling he was trying to kiss up.

"I heard what you did." The Colonel said gruffly still writing on his papers. We exchanged uneasy looks. I was standing on the other side of Raif.

"We can explain that sir." Raif said uneasily.

"Explain what?" the Colonel looked up from the huge paper looking between us all before going back to whatever he was doing. I had the itch to twiddle my thumbs.

"Whatever it is you heard about us sir." Danny's voice was shaking slightly.

"The hula shirts you were flying in…" cue looking to the floor. A loud tapping noise and we all looked up to see him standing up straight. "Or the Eight planes you shot down." he walked from out behind his desk to look out at the window. "Your being awarded the silver star and promoted to Captain." it was playing out the same…but I was being included…why oh why was I in this?

"Is there something else sir?" I asked quietly. Of course there is. There always was.

"Your just about the only pilots in the army with real combat training. I need you for a mission I've been ordered to put together." I shifted uneasily on my feet. Just because I knew what was going to happen, didn't make me feel any less nervous. "Do you know what top secret is?" he asked not looking at us.

"Yes, sir. It's the kind of mission where you get medals, but they send 'em to your relatives." and if I died in this mission…I didn't have relatives. The Colonel finally turned to face us.

"Top secret means something that has never been done in Aviation history and you go without knowing where your going." he looked to each of us. "You do it on that basis or not at all." again he pinned us with a stare.

"I'll go sir." Raif answered immediately.

"I'll go too sir." Danny sounded extremely nervous. Then those blue eyes looked to me.

"Count me in sir." when he turned away I nearly shrank in on myself. Seriously those were some compelling eyes.

"By the way McCawley the Brits sent this over. It's your personal effects." he handed Raif a wooden box.

"Thank you sir." his answer was very quick.

"There's only one more thing I could tell you." please brain don't laugh. "Leave your god damn hula shirts at home." I cracked a smile. I couldn't help it. "Dismissed." we saluted and walked away. Everything went by in a blink of an eye.

We were all standing in a long line. There was a lot of us. I kept my gaze straight forward as the Colonel walked forward. I still couldn't believe I was doing this. Well besides the fact that I wasn't even from this time, it was a surreal, yet so very real. Like a lucid dream. But I knew deep down, this was no dream.

"The Mission I'm asking you to volunteer for is exceptionally dangerous. Take a look at the man beside you. Its possible that in the next six weeks you or he will be dead." his gaze scanned us all. "Anyone brave enough to accept this. Step forward." it was an amazing feeling as we all stepped forward as one.

The next morning we were taking to a runway "Your grandma could take a B-25 off on a mile long runway. Well I'm gunna train you to do it in 467 feet." taking off from a carrier boat. "because at 468 feet your dead. And once you get it up you're going to learn who to fly it like a fighter thirty feet off the ground." even though I knew they could do it and would, I still couldn't really believe it. "I want you to say hello to Lieutenant Jack Richard Navy Aviation he's gunna help us lighten these fat ladies here."

It's crazy how fast we could work. And how damn crazy that Lieutenant was. We nearly stripped the whole thing to it's frame. I was sporting new bruises on my hands for things that tended to be a helluva lot heavier then I could handle. Being a girl at this moment made me hate it. I was to be copilot with Raif.

"Max power." he stated and off we went.

"C'mon c'mon Get up get up!" we urged hoping and praying to get it up. "Damn!"

It didn't work. We stripped it further of weight. This time Danny and Gooz were attempting to get it up. It didn't work for them either. The Colonel made us all line up on the line one day. I gave Raif and Danny a dumbfounded look when the plane got up before the line. It was returned easily.

"Well he can do it." Raif said appreciatively.

After that we all were able to get the planes up. Then it was off on the boats. Where we were finally told of where we were going. I was standing beside Gooz who was seated on one of the ladders. We were all looking at the Colonel.

"Well Gentleman I can finally tell you we're going to Tokyo." he paused looking around. "And we're going to bomb it." we all cheered whole heartedly. "That comes as a special request from President Roosevelt. The navy is going to sneak us about 400 miles off the Japanese coast and we'll launch from there."

"Has that even been done before? Launching Bombers off of carriers?"

"No." Gooz nodded with a slightly green face.

"Okay."

"Any Questions?" he looked around.

"Well sir is it even possible to land a B-25 on a carrier deck?" Raif asked probably the question running through everyone's head.

"That won't matter as soon as we're airborne the carrier will head back straight to Hawaii."

"But if the carriers head home where would we land?" the guy sounded completely lost.

"I want you to remember a phrase. Wo shi meiguo ren. It means I am an American. In Chinese." we were dismissed after that.

"Wo shi meiguo ren." I repeated quietly to myself from where I sat. I was sitting on the edge of the deck, where we were suppose to take off. "I am an American."

"Aren't we all?" I twisted to see Raif and Danny walking up.

"On the ship yes we are…out there…" I looked out into the open sea.

"How are we even going to pull this off?" Danny asked looking at the edge of the deck. I stood up feeling weird being the only one sitting down.

"Well it ain't gunna be any easier. That's three feet shorter then our practice runway-"

"Fella's." we turned to the side to see the Colonel walking up. The wind was something fierce out here.

"Sir." Raif said in his normal loud voice. Danny and I followed in a quieter voice. Doolittle dug in his pocket and pulled out two small medals he held them out with a smile.

"Secretary of the navy gave me these." I looked at the small medals on the red ribbons.

"What are they?" Danny asked looking at them curiously.

"Friendship metals the Japanese gave us when they were pretending they wanted peace." I smirked as I recalled what his next sentences would be.

"Well then what are you going to do with them sir?"

"I'm going to wire them to the bombs and give them back." Raif gave a half smile. Doolittle glanced at me, I was still smirking. "So what's going on?" he asked Raif.

"Well Sir we only got sixteen planes." I looked out towards the sea.

I half listened to what they were saying. The more time went by the more I forgot my home, yet I yearned to be there more and more everyday. I wanted to be back to flying only rich people who had vacation homes where big planes couldn't land. I wanted to go back to work at the library when I wasn't flying. I missed being able to curl up on my couch and watch sitcoms at three a.m. in the morning.

Yet it was always on my mind that if I did go back. I would die. My plane had been crashing into the mountains. I could still remember that clarity. My mind was so clear. I knew I was going to die. But I ended up here. I ended up back in time. I met Raif, Danny, Red, Billy, Anthony, Betty, Evelyn, Gooz, Earl. Gosh…how many friends did I have back at home? There was Fred, Kelly, Gina, and who else?

"Hey Sky?" I hand touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped a foot in the air. I blinked rapidly coming back to the present.

"Uh ya?" I asked looking to see Danny and Raif giving me concerned looks. "I'm fine, just spacing out." I said defensively. I was really loosing it.

"Well do it inside because it's getting freezing out here." Raif said with a smile. We walked back to our bunks.

Personally I hated the sea. We were a few days in and I was cold, and felt grimy. At least here the showers were walled off with curtains. Oh was it a fun experience showering along with the guys for once. And earning a very disapproving look from Danny was worth it. He was the only one who knew my secret and I think it did a number on him when ever I would be with the guys. I acted like a complete guy which a lot of times was seen as improper for women.

Most of the ship was asleep at the moment, except for a few of us in the large room we were all given. It was story telling time and a lot of the guys had some scary stories, others were just plain hilarious. I was laying in my bed listening to one of the men who's name I had forgotten talk about the time he when he crashed through his bedroom window. My hand was fisted around my brother's dog tags.

"Hey Sky why are you always fiddling with those tags?" I glanced seeing Gooz looking at my hand. I lifted them up so I could stare at them. The room went quiet, no doubt readying for a story.

"They're my brothers." I let them go and they fell onto my chest. "He was older then be by about five years and enlisted into the Air Force. He was up flying getting in some hours when something happened to the plane…it uhh blew up in the air. He was alive, but burnt badly. He made it all the way to the hospital. Before he died he told the nurse to give his tags to me. I've had them ever since."

"And you joined cause of him?" Danny's voice asked.

"Nope…he joined because of me. His reasoning for it was that he needed to protect his little brother." I smiled fondly remembering my brother telling me that after I said I was going into the Air Force. But after he died…I couldn't bring myself to join until I landed back in the thirties.

"Gosh…that has to really suck." stories went on after that. I turned on my side and closed my eyes. Dreams of my brother's death plaguing my sleep.

Today was the day the bombs were getting put into the planes. We were also decorating them. Though no one was going to see what was written on them, it was all about the statement and the thought. While Red was painting a Donald duck on the side of one of the planes, I took the liberty to paint the words 'This is for Betty' on one of the bombs.

"In honor of our trip to Japan. I got us some uh…some Victory cigars!" Gooze held up the cigars proudly. Getting us all to laugh and cheer. "here ya go!" he passed them out to all of us. I stuck it in one of my pockets.

"Thanks Sky." I glanced over at Red who was looking at the bomb I had dedicated to avenging Betty.

"It's the least I could do Red. Ugh but my back is killing me." I complained as I finished up the last of the wording.

"Maybe you shouldn't crouch then." Danny stated wryly taking a sip from the Coco Cola he had. I mock glared as I stood.

"Hey Sky c'mon here for a sec!" I looked to Earl who was on the ladder in front of the plane.

"Ya?" I asked moving over to him.

"Screw this on in there, you got smaller hands then I do." he handed me the piece he wanted to be screwed in as he climbed off the ladder.

"Sure no problem."

XxXxXx

"My friends in the war department don't want me to lead this raid." We were all seated in a room. The room that had all of the flight plans and strategies. The Colonel was talking to us. He paced the room while he talked. "Cause they say I'm too valuable they don't want me up in the air flying with the men that I have chosen. That I've chewed out, cussed out, and pushed to the limit and I've come to respect." I picked at my thumb nail while listening. "They want me to stand on the flight deck and wave you off, well I don't see it that way. So I'm going with you." there were no murmuring but they were all looking around at each other as if he was crazy.

I already knew what was going to happen. I was getting extremely antsy. I kept going over what I could remember in the scene. Making sure I wouldn't miss anything if I made it that far. Well I was going to be copiloting with Raif. And when Red did it in the movie he lived. I should live. I knew I was messing up things here and there in the movie, but I prayed to whatever God would listen to allow me to save Danny. He deserved it.

"We take off tomorrow afternoon, drop our fire and head to China. Our mission is to hit military targets, aircraft and tank factories."

"Colonel you've given us homing Beacons but you've also told us China is over run by Japanese troops what if the Beacons are switched off?" one of them asked.

"You bring her down anyway you can and do your best to avoid capture."

"What do we do if our planes and damaged and we have to bail out over Japan?" another asked.

"Well in that situation I can't tell you what you should do." nope that all on us.

"What would you do Colonel." the answer the colonel would give would determine the fate of most of the planes.

"I wasn't built to be a prisoner, so I would have my crew bail out, I would find the sweetest military target I could and drive my plane right smack in the middle of it." I swallowed hard. "But that's just me. I'm forty five years old I'm an old man. Your young you got your whole lives ahead of you, so what you do is up to you.

That next morning I was sitting up against the wall on my bunk. My knees drawn into my chest while I watched vapidly as Danny wrote Evelyn a letter. A Japanese radio station was on. I ignored her words and let my head fall into my knees.

"Watch out, the enemy will get you."

"Maybe she's right." Gooz stated turning the thing off. I had the weirdest urge to start singing Untitled by Simple plan. But that wouldn't go over to well for me.

"I try to open my eyes…" I murmured to myself right before the alarms went off.

"All Naval personal man your stations! Man your stations!" A voice yelled over the intercom.

"This can't be good!" Raif yelled as he and Danny looked out of the door. I started dressing.

"All Army fliers Man you planes! All Army fliers man your planes!" we all started hurrying to get dressed.

"Their shooting at something." Danny commented looking through the tiny port hole.

"C'mon let's go!" Raif yelled running out the door. I hopped towards the door while trying to put my shoes on. We ran to out plane. Red was still on the crew, just he wasn't going to be up with Raif. I closed most of my ears off to what was happening and followed orders as told.

"Sky!" I stopped running for the moment to see Danny looking at me. I was hurrying to get the new tail guns to the plane. Raif was already walking away.

"Ya?"

"Don't get yourself killed." I smiled cheekily at him.

"Now why would I go and do that? Be careful!" and with that we were off. I was in the copilot seat in no time.

"Turning on one!" Raif yelled the roar of the engines nearly drowning out all the rest of the sound.

"Turning on two!" I yelled feeling the heat of the moment begin to fade and the steady rush of adrenaline began to hit. "Sometimes I kind of wish I was religious." I muttered as I watched the Colonel begin to take off.

"Yaa so do I." we watched in tense silence up until the moment the plane was in the air.

"Yaaay!" we all cheered seeing one plane successfully make it up. "Way to go!"

"Alright full power full power!" Raif warned us all before we jerked forward. "Here we go!" I nearly bit through my lip as we neared the end of the deck. But we were up in the air. "Ahaha!"

"WOOOHHH!" the crew cheered and I smiled while laughing.

"That's Japan right there fella's tightn up back there!" I took a deep breath and pushed myself into the back of my brain. I would do my job. The next thing I clearly remember is Colonels voice telling us we did a good job. Then they started shooting at us.

"Holy!" I cursed as I felt our plane get shot. Yelling lot's of yelling over the microphones.

"I want everyone to separate!" the Colonels voice rang out loud and clear though.

"God damn it!" Raif cursed as we were hit again. "Sky go check that out."

"On it!" I slipped my way from between the seats. I crawled through the tiny space and was glad I wasn't claustrophobic.

"I think Theo's dead! Theo!" Red yelled. I opened my mouth to speak but the plane was jerked.

"Get into those clouds Danny! Get into that soup!" Raif yelled. "Sky! I need you up here!" I crawled backwards and back into the seat. Once we were safely in the clouds and on only open water it was only our plane, Danny's, and Colonel Doolittle's.

"How many can's of fuel we got left?" Raif asked after I went down to check.

"These are all empty!" Red screamed over the screeching of air that was coming through the hole we had in the plane.

"Red is this all we got!" I yelled grabbing the half empty gas can. "Raif! You better pray for land!" I went back to the seat.

"I'm sorry Gentleman. You're all brave souls. Among the bravest I've had the privilege if flying with." I looked to Raif. He was giving up hope. "But we're on our own." I looked out ahead and saw nothing but water.

"So this was a suicide mission." we were running on no fuel.

"Engine one is Flocculating." I stated looking at the gages. "We're gunna loose it any minute. You're gunna have to prime it." I stated trying to make sure the engine didn't fail.

"I'm primen how bout now!" the engine turned on again. "I see the coast. I see the coast!"

"Copy that Raif."

"Danny follow me now. We can make this I can see the coast right now it's only a few miles out follow me." It was coming fast. We were going to crash very soon.

"we're Following Raif, we gotta find a soft landing spot!" our plane began to waver.

"Pushen up on two. Fella's this gunna be a hard landing hold on! I see rice patties!" he pointed off towards them. "We'll bring it in right here. Engine one shut off completely. We started to fall.

"Oh God Engine one's dead. We're gunna loose Engine two any second." I said scrambling to do anything to keep us going until we could land in the rise patties. This is like the plane crash all over again. The land was coming in fast.

"Easy. We can glide in. Pull it back we're coming in on fumes." then we saw them. "Japs! We got Jap patrols everywhere! Danny you gotta land somewhere else! Strap in boys we're going down!" Engine two started sputtering.

"Get out of the nose!" I heard Red scream. I gripped the control as hard as I could to keep it steady.

"Watch the trees!" I could hear Engine two shut off completely. Oh great…

The first impact left me slightly stunned. Then the next and I couldn't figure out which way was up or down. I could feel my body being bounced around where I was belted in, and the painful stings as glass came flying at me. Then nothing. I coughed painfully and opened my eyes. I was alive. I was alive!

"Is everyone alright!" Raif yelled to the back of the plane. I shook my head to clear it. My vision was blurring.

"I'm okay! I'm okay!" Red yelled. We started our slow and painful way out of the plane.

"Watch for Japs!" Red yelled as we all finally stumbled out of the plane. I ground the heels of my palms into my eyes trying to dispel the dizziness I felt.

"Jap patrols! Take Cover!" I fell to the ground instantly before turning over and starting to shoot with the gun that we were all given.

"Who's got the extra magazines?" Raif asked when his gun was out of bullets.

"I do!" Red tossed them to him.

"We gotta get up in those hills. Find the Chinese." But before we could even start shooting again we were surrounded. C'mon Danny…I looked up to the sky hoping to see the bullets coming. They did. We watched as the plane shot at the soldiers before crashing itself. There was an explosion. "Danny!" Raif screamed and was up and running. I was right on his heels my gun pointed at the brush.

"Raif! Sky no!" Red yelled running after us. I shot the first Japanese I saw.

"AH god! Danny!" Raif stopped for a second seeing the ruin the plane was in. I didn't even bother stopping.

"Danny!" I yelled not caring that my voice sounded like a woman's.

"Danny!" Raif came up beside me as we neared the front of the plane. "Ahh, no Anthony…" he checked his pulse. We ran when we saw him trying to move into a safer position. "Easy easy…" Raif advised stilling him from moving. "You saved our lives back there." Danny's face was contorted in pain, blood was coating the side of his face and neck.

"I got something in my neck." he ground his teeth against the pain. "Gooz? Where's he?"

"He's fine. Just let me-"

"Don't pull it out!" I coughed up looking around trying to see the Jap that would his Raif in the head.

"Why not?"

"It could of punctured an artery. If you take it out he'll bleed to death." I glanced over at them. "We just have to wait it-" something hard hit me in the head and I fell over sideways landing face first in the mud. There was yelling in a different language. So much yelling. My ears were ringing now.

"Raif!" I heard Danny's yell. Oh ya…I had something to do. I twisted myself over before I felt my feet be tightly bound. Gun…I needed one before Danny got shot. I was on the other side of him opposite of Raif. I glanced seeing the gun on the hip of the soldier that was holding up Danny. Bingo.

I began to wiggle towards that one soldier when the soldier tying me up stopped abruptly. I stopped and looked up at him, a strangers face. It blurred and I blinked hard to clear my vision. He shouted something to the others before bending over and roughly grasping my hair. I yelled in pain as I was dragged to my knees by my hair. There was more yelling, and I could feel Raif's eyes on me. I could feel the confusion from my friends.

One of the soldiers drew out a knife. A big knife. I felt my blood freeze in my veins. This wasn't possible they couldn't know…they couldn't of figured out I was-the knife cut open the shirt in the process tearing away the wrappings I had around my chest. I screamed and struggled against my captor, but I felt cool metal press into my head. I stopped and stared wide eyed a ahead of me. There was more talking in their language, then laughter, total laughter. I knew what they were laughing about.

The man holding me palmed one of my breasts. I snapped my eyes close to block it all away. Talking in Japanese, snickers, more rough hands bruising my skin. I felt hot tears slip down my cheeks. My heart gave a painful wheeze. This was it…I was going to be raped.

The shot that rang out left me slumped into the ground. Raif had shot my captor. Three more shots and I saw the men holding up Danny fall, and Raif's captor fall. I didn't have any time to think. More gun shots around us. Raif went to shoot the last soldier near us, the gun made a soft clicking noise. Blood rushed to my ears, I could barely hear anything else. The soldier pointed his gun at Raif, Danny pushed him away. The first shot rang out. Fuck! I tackled Danny by his feet. He fell backwards landing directly on top of me. I gasped as all the air left my lungs from his weight crushing me.

"A Grenade! I have a grenade!" Gooz yelled before there was an explosion. Oh thank god.

"Danny!" his weight left me. I took a big breath before coughing.

"They shot my shoulder." Danny rasped out. With shaking limbs I sat up. Raif had untied Danny who was now laying on his lap, but he didn't look to be in the immense pain he was in the movie. "Sky?"

"Ya?" I coughed holding my jacket closed.

"Are you okay?" I almost laughed, but it would of hurt to much.

"I think you should be worried about yourself." everything was graying and the back of my head was pounding. My hand was trembling as I brought it back to touch the back of my head. I felt slickness, it's the mud just the mud, but when I pulled my hand back, my fingers were red. I blinked at the sight of my own blood. When had that happened? When I was hit with the gun? Or when we crashed? I blinked and my fingers blurred and all together disappeared. The last thing I heard was my name being yelled.

AN: Do not worry it isn't over yet! Review and tell me what you think!


	7. Changing a War

AN: Hey guys…sorry for the wait, I just kinda lost hope in all my on going stories. I can not promise when the next chapter will be out, but I do not like not finishing stories, so don't worry it'll at least get done. This might be a bit smaller then the rest, but I hope you enjoy it.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 7: To Change a War

There was a low constant hum. Talking there was also a lot of talking. I squinted against the light I could see filtering in. White blob…a white ceiling was above me. Where was I? my head began to throb.

"oooow…" I moaned attempting to hold my head but my hand felt to heavy to move.

"I think she's coming around boys." Was that Alec Baldwin's voice? I opened my eyes fully. I had to see why Alec Baldwin was near. As everything came into focus the flood of memories came bursting in. I gasped as a felt a spike of pain in my head. That wasn't Alec Baldwin that was Colonel Doolittle. I went through Pearl Harbor. I saved Danny. "You finally awake?" I shifted my head slightly to see Colonel looking down at me.

"Mhmmm…what happened?" I croaked out.

"Well kid you got a bad slice to your head and you passed out from blood loss." I nodded slowly.

"Uhhuh…" then something clicked. "You said she's coming around didn't you." I stated my head beginning to pound harder. It was like there was a little jack hammer breaking away at my skull.

"That's right."

"Don't hurt me…" I groaned closing my eyes. The laughter that filled the room made my ears ring.

"Who ever said something about hurting you?" I opened my eyes and turned my head quickly, regretfully quick, to see Danny sitting in a bed beside mine. He had a rather large bandage on his neck, and one on his shoulder, but other then that looked perfectly fine.

"Oh and I want to know why you kept calling me Alec Baldwin." I looked back over to the Colonel.

"Wait you don't care I'm a girl?" I asked as a struggled to sit up. I ignored the protests of the others that were standing around my bed. My head was swimming by the time I did. We were in some kind of hospital

"No I don't but a lot of people do Ma'am."

"Please…please do not call me ma'am, I've been everything but ma'am for wayy too many years now to be called ma'am."

"I always knew you were too feminine to be a guy." I looked over slowly to Raif. "And My mamma knew about it all along?" I nodded knowing I was a twinge of pink.

"And it explains why you were never hairy." I glanced at Gooz.

"I might have been pretending to be a guy, but I couldn't go that far." I looked down at my clothing. I was wearing a hospital gown"Who changed me anyways?"

"We ain't no perverts the nurses did."

"Good…where are we anyways?" I asked not recognizing this hospital from the one in Pearl Harbor.

"China, we're waiting for the plane to get here so we can get home." that was a person I didn't fully recognize. I nodded and bowed my head. It was soo heavy.

"Lay back down Sky. You need the rest." Colonel said gently pushing on my shoulder. I nodded and slipped back into laying down. I closed my eyes but I tried staying a alert.

I was going to be raped by those soldiers. They were fully intent on doing that too. Their laughs said it all. Raif saved my dignity and my life. I had to thank him. Yet even as hard as I tried my mind sank into darkness.

The next time I woke up I was alone. I sat up, and my head didn't hurt much, only a dull ache. I hesitantly ghosted my hand over the bandage on my head. Gods head wounds really hurt.

"Hey look your finally awake." I smiled at the voice and looked up to see Danny in the hospital bed next to mine.

"How long have I been out?" my voice sounded raspy.

"Couple days maybe. The others are getting our uniforms. The plane should be getting here in a few hours." I nodded. "I haven't been able to thank you yet. But anyways. Thank you. You saved my life." he smiled warmly at me and I felt a whole new pain bloom. I couldn't have him, and it really really sucked.

"No need to thank me." I twiddled my thumbs.

The guys came in after that. I was given my uniform, with a new shirt of course. Also in between the folds of the clothes was a bra, or whatever they called them here. I could tell a nurse probably told them I would need it, because Red was blushing ear to ear when he handed me the pile of clothes with shoes on top. I dressed behind a curtain since when I tried hobbling away to find a bathroom everyone pounced saying I shouldn't be walking.

I was allowed to take off my head bandage and I felt the stitches that were in the back of my head. Getting on that plane was like a dream come true. We were alive. But the wooden coffin that was in the back reminded all of us that good men were lost. I sat beside Red and the Colonel. I was going to be in pretty big trouble when I got home. Home…did I just call this place home? I rubbed my eyes to get the thought out of my head. I wasn't home. This wasn't home…

"C'mon wake up." I woke up to the slight shaking of my shoulder. I blinked rapidly before focusing on Red.

"Yes?" when did I fall asleep?

"We're landing in about thirty minutes." I nodded and stretched as best I could.

"Who do you think is waiting for us?" I could hear Gooz ask. I had no one.

"Miss Penber you'll be following me once we get off the plane." I turned to nod at the Colonel. I was in a whole lot of trouble. I just could feel it.

Anthony was the one in the coffin this time. I walked out directly behind Colonel Doolittle. He didn't seem to have anyone waiting for him either. I passed Evelyn who's eyes were only for the two pilots getting off the plane. I suspected only one, but she did love Danny to a certain degree. She just loved Raif more. And Danny still didn't know about the baby. I glanced at her stomach, she had a pretty noticeable bump.

"Sir you have no one to see you?" I asked as we walked to the car waiting for us. He glanced back at me before opening the door for me.

"Not at all." I slid in not use to being treated like a girl. He got in directly after. "Neither do you apparently."

"The only people I could think of wanting to greet me got off that plane with me." I stated confidently. He nodded completely understanding. The drive to where ever we were going was quiet. I had my hat in my hands, and my leather jacket in my lap. I was aware that I was wearing a bra. And it felt really good not to be wrapped up.

"You'll be meeting the Generals so look alive." he warned me before entering a building. Oh great…I was going to be yelled at and chewed out. I just knew it. We saluted to them as was custom. They were seated on a long table. And it looked to be a General for each division of the military. Oh man…these guys were really high up there.

"Have a seat Miss. Penber." there was a lone seat in the middle of the room. I slid into it sitting with my back completely straight, my hands folded in my lap, and my legs pressed together. I hadn't crossed my legs in a long time. "Are you aware that it is currently illegal for a woman to be anything more then an Army nurse?"

"Yes sir." I said glancing at the one who spoke. They all nodded and wrote something down.

"Why did you decide to hide your gender and join the Air Force?" so he was the question asker.

"I wanted to be a pilot Sir." more nodding and writing.

"How long have you been hiding your gender?" he droned on.

"Five or six years maybe. You loose count after a while sir." I blinked trying to mentally scratch my neck. They wrote more stuff down.

"Colonel Doolittle you say you never knew of her gender until just recently?" the guy asked.

"Yes sir." they all nodded.

"Miss. Penber may you wait outside a moment?" I stood saluted them and walked out. I sat on a chair near the door. I was shaking. They would send me back to the states. I would be shipped off to the states and I'd have no where to go. I had no identity. Not really. It was a little while until I was called back in. I wasn't offered a seat.

"Miss. Penber." I looked to the new voice who spoke. "Colonel Doolittle here has vouched that you are a valuable asset to this country and that if we were to take you out of the military it would suffer greatly. Do you believe that is so?" what? I looked to the Colonel who stood stoically beside me.

"I believe…I believe that it is not my place to tell you whether or not I am a valuable asset to the country." they nodded almost appreciatively and scribbled more down.

"Miss. Penber you must understand that you will most likely never pilot another plane, but you will not be removed from duty." my heart pounded in my chest. I wasn't being shipped away. "Of course you'll have to be housed with women now, and a few other changes." I nodded numbly. I was staying.

"And Miss Penber before you leave can I ask a question?" another new voice

"Of course sir."

"Why didn't you just become a nurse like the rest of the women?" I lost all my tenseness and smiled plainly at the old man.

"Because nurses only help change the casualties of war. I wanted to personally change the war itself. Or at least a little piece of it." the General's eyes widened and he nodded.

"You are dismissed." Colonel and I both saluted them and walked out of the room. I didn't speak until we were half way to the car.

"Thank you. What you said to them, it must of changed their minds thank you Colonel!" I gushed wanting to hug him. He looked at me with soft eyes.

"I meant what I said up in the air. You more then proved yourself. You deserved it." this time I did hug him.

"Thank you! You have no idea how much that means to me!" he returned it with an arm pat. Quickly I stood straight.

"You're just a ball of enthusiasm when you're a girl huh?" he said with a smile making me blush with embarrassment. When we got into the car I asked where we were going. "You're new housing. I believe they told me it was with the nurses."

"oh…what am I allowed to do now? They said I wouldn't fly anymore."

"You can be an instructor to new recruits or an engineer Penber. I'll be going to the states soon anyways." I nodded. I'd rather be an engineer. "here we are." I looked out the window and saw I was in front of the house Evelyn and the other ladies stayed at. Oh man…

"Thank you again Colonel Doolittle. Oh and I called you Alec Baldwin because it's the name of an uncle of mine. You look a lot like him." a smiled and got out of the car, because I'd be damned if I was getting it opened by the driver.

I had no other clothes except the ones on my back. All the rest were men's clothing. And I highly doubted anyone on the base would appreciate that. I walked up to the screen door and knocked hesitantly. They were probably phoned ahead of time about my arrival. I believe the nurse named Barbara came out.

"Yes Sky?" or maybe not. I took off my hat and lowered my jacket which I had draped over my crossed arms. She gasped as she saw what was unmistakably my breasts. "You're a woman!" she exclaimed loudly causing the rest of the women in the house to come out.

"Sky? You're a girl?" Sandra asked with wide eyes. Martha simply stared with her mouth wide open.

"Yes…and I've been told I'll be living with you girls now." I said slowly.

"Oh yes…they called and said that, but…I didn't think it'd be you." Martha piped in. Barbara finally let me in, and while watching me like hawks showed me to my room. Apparently I would be sleeping in the same room with Evelyn. Since Betty had died. That just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"So uhh…we're meeting everyone at the Hula hut for Anthony's memorial." Sandra told me once the other girls trickled away. I nodded to her. I knew the guys would be wearing their uniforms. And so would I. I simply finger brushed my hair and went down stairs to wait for them to get finished.

I was a total outsider to them all. While waiting Evelyn came home. She looked at me with a soft smile, Danny or Raif must of filled her in, before going up to her room. I was right…women still took forever to get ready. We all left the house around eight. I drove us all to the Hula hut. I seemed to be the most experienced driver, and more comfortable behind the wheel.

"So what'd they tell you?" was the one question I got bombarded with when I entered the place.

"If someone gives me a beer I'll tell all." Gooz handed me his. "Thanks." I tipped it back savoring the liquid before swallowing. "Well I'm still Captain Penber, and I'm not being shipped to the Main land, but I'll never fly a plane again in my life. Oh and I can work on the planes."

"At least your not being sent away." I believe Sandra said.

The memorial service we held for Anthony was a simple one. I drank and joked with the guys like I always did. Oh I knew all the girls were staring at me like I was an alien. I acted exactly like one of the guys. Danny stuck close to Evelyn all night, and in the end I was kind of a sitting bar partner to Raif.

"You saved our lives out there. And I wanted to thank you properly." Raif told me as we drank more beer.

"You saved our lives. You were the one who started shooting. I just went with my instincts." I took another swing of beer. "I don't look forward to be living with women again." Raif laughed at my statement.

"And why is that hmm?"

"I might be a woman on the outside…but I'm probably more guy inside my noggen then girl. I mean look at me. I'm drinking like a guy wearing _pants_, and have a very crude mouth."

"Well it goes with living with men for years. You'll get use to the women." I shrugged taking more sips of my beer. "So is it safe to ask how my mom found out?" he asked after a while.

"Nope." I said with a laugh and turned in my seat to watch the dance floor. The night went on and soon we were being driven back home by a sober Evelyn. She was pregnant after all. My bags had been dropped off by the door in our absence. I changed into my normal boxers and shirt.

"You wear that to bed?" Evelyn asked after I had gotten everything on. She was wearing her pink silk night gown. I looked down at my attire before looking at hers.

"I guess it's pretty odd…but it's what I wore to bed in the barracks." I stated getting under the white sheets. She nodded and got into bed as well.

"What was it like? Living with all the guys?" she asked quietly in the dark.

"Truthfully it was extremely entertaining." I smiled softly and turned towards the wall. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

AN: Please review they are very much appreciated.


	8. Being a Woman

AN: Hello everyone. I know this chapter has been updated faaar to late. I apologize for that I've just been writing for a bunch of other things and totally forgot to update. But please do not loose hope! I am determined to finish this story and present it to you. I want to thank all of you who have reviewed/favorited/alerted this story it means a lot to me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Sky and this plot.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 8: Being a Woman

I had the week off. I had a bad head wound after all. I didn't like it one single bit. The first day off, Martha had the day off that day so she dragged me to the store. She forced me to buy clothes she said would look fabulous on me. The second day I was stuck at home with Evelyn and Danny. I was kind of hiding from the base and they had just decided to hang out at the house since they both weren't working.

I was sitting on the living room couch reading a book I borrowed from one of the ladies at the moment. Evelyn was in the kitchen making lunch, and so was Danny. I had an easy time ignoring them both. Though I felt like I was intruding because no one else was in the house besides them and me.

"Sky you want anything?" Evelyn asked from the kitchen. I looked up from my book.

"No thanks Ma'am."

"I'm not a ma'am to you anymore." she chuckled. It was a habit that all of them kept reminding me about.

"How many times do you call everyone ma'am Sky?" Danny asked amusedly. I lifted the book up to my face. He laughed as he saw what I was doing. It was quiet besides them talking. A knock on the door directed me that I could get off the couch.

"I'll get it." I closed my book and hurried over to the door. Standing on the steps was Raif. "Hey Raif what you doing here?" I asked opening the screen to let him in.

"Wondering if you had some free time?" me? Seriously? He didn't look all that nervous, probably plane stuff.

"Oh really? Sure, just come in while I get uhh… 'Properly dressed'." I air quoted what Barbara and Martha always told me. He nodded and followed me into the house.

"Who's at the door?" Evelyn asked before seeing who was behind me.

"I'll be right back." I directed to Raif and scurried up the stairs to the room. I was currently wearing a t-shirt and khaki's. Which was frowned upon by everyone in the house. I changed into the blue blouse and a knee length summery white skirt. I slipped into my heels that Sandra had given to me. We were surprisingly the same size. When I went back down the term best described was awkward. Seriously awkward. "Uhh…back."

"You didn't brush your hair." Evelyn pointed out gesturing to my head. I plastered it to my head with my hands.

"Bye Danny, Evelyn." Raif nodded and started walking back towards the front door. Evelyn gave me a questioning look. I shrugged mouthing I had no idea and followed after.

"Soo…why were you looking for me?" I asked as we walked.

"Truthfully?" he asked glancing at me. "I wanted to see Evelyn."

"Ahh. I kind of figured that. Anyways you got me out here in the first place what do you want to do?" I supplied a subject change.

"Ice cream?" I laughed. "What?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Reminded me of high school for a moment there." I said with a smile. "And sure ice cream sounds good." we walked to the nearest ice cream place and sat on the bench outside of the shop. "I hate these shoes…" I muttered taking them off my feet and placing them beside me.

"You know while wearing women clothing you look like a complete girl, but you can pass for a guy if you wore guy clothing. How is that?" he asked sincerely curious. I had an inkling of a feeling he was only hanging out with me because the person he usually wasted time with was with the woman he loved.

"I have one of those faces. And you should see me when I actually have long hair." I licked at my vanilla ice cream making sure none of it got on my fingers.

"I probably will." he sounded thoughtful.

"I can honestly say right now, at this very moment, I would have loved some rain." the sky was a beautiful blue color though. Not a cloud in sight.

"Would fit the mood completely huh?" he asked with a humorless smirk. I nodded. We ate the ice cream in silence after that. When we walked back I held my shoes in my hand not caring at all what I was walking over.

"Thanks for the ice cream." I told him when we got to the front of my new house.

"Your welcome. And sorry I wasn't a better date." I chuckled and waved him off.

"Then it wasn't a date. Just a get together of two friends hmm?" he smiled and nodded. "Bye Raif."

"Bye Sky." I walked into the house. Danny and Evelyn were still in the kitchen. And must of heard us talking outside because they were silent.

"Well hello to you too." I informed by passing the table and getting a coke.

"So what'd you do?" It was Danny that asked. I glanced at Evelyn who's face showed barely hidden anxiousness.

"Ate ice cream, talk about the fact that I look like a girl now, and the weather. Oh and I'm pretty sure I got a blister from walking in those stupid heels. I don't know how you do it Evelyn."

"Practice lots of practice." she smiled slightly.

"The weather? Really?" Danny asked with an incredulous face.

"Yes the weather. We both miss the rain apparently." I flashed them a smile and went back to the living room to continue reading.

The rest of the days off went by quickly. Going back to work was kind of a pain. I wore coveralls over my shirt and skirt, and my guy shoes. There was no way I was working with heels on. I wasn't treated different by my friends, but by everyone else I was nothing but a woman. A woman who didn't belong there, or I got cat called. And I thought men were suppose to be gentlemanly. Raif and Danny worked as sort of instructors for the new comers now. I liked working in the garage most of the time.

"Oh crud." I cursed when the tool I had in one of my pockets fell out. I was also trying to clean up my language. I bent down to get it. Whistles. I got whistled at.

"Want me to yell at 'em?" Gooz asked from under the plane.

"Naah I can handle it." I told him and stood up straight. I turned toward the men who were hanging my the hanging. "Do you see something of interest?" I asked them with a scowl.

"Yep."

"You." one of them pointed at me.

"Oh really now?" I shoved my hands into my pockets and took a step toward them.

"Leave the lady alone. Get back to work." I glanced over seeing Danny in his tank top standing a foot away from me.

"I could of handled them." I muttered giving him a frown.

"You shouldn't have to." was his reply.

"Why because I'm openly a woman now?" I asked going back over to the part of the plane I was helping Gooz with.

"Your angry at me for helping you?" he sounded bewildered. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm annoyed I'm being treated differently. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I need help from men. I've been doing just fine without it." I knew it wasn't really fair to go off on him, but he was the one to be there when I finally tipped over the cliff.

"That was when everyone thought you were a guy. Now that you're a woman you could be put in bad situations." Bad situations…like since I was one of - what was it now? Sixty women on a place filled with men.

"Bad situations huh? Like being cornered by someone and raped?" warm brown eyes widened. "Already been in that situation hun, can't protect me from it." I ducked beneath the plane knowing I left him speechless. No one talked to me about what had happened in China. It was easily glossed over by them all. Personally I was fine with it. They didn't do anything to me really. Red gave me a ride home that evening.

"Bye Sky pick you up tomorrow?" he barely stuttered these days.

"Yep, and thanks again." I walked into the house. Dinner was being cooked.

"Sky! C'mon here a minute." I sighed and went into the kitchen. Barbara was cooking. "Taste this sauce does it taste okay?" she shoved a spoon into my mouth. I pulled it out. The sauce tasted alright.

"It takes okay, maybe a little salt?" she threw up her hands in frustration. I blinked confused at her state of distress and decided to just go up to my room. I was reading when Evelyn came in, a grave look on her face. I knew automatically Danny had told her and asked if she could talk to me.

"Sky…" she stared sitting on her bed.

"I don't need to talk about it Evelyn, trust me I don't care about it." my tone was harsher then I intended, and she didn't bring it up again.

A few weeks passed. My stitches finally came out. I was still uncomfortable more times then not in women clothing, but I was slowly getting use to it. On my free time I hung out with Raif. Who most of the time sulked in silence while I talked about stupid things that neither of us cared about. I avoided Danny unless it was during work, and the girls slowly started accepting the fact that I was not like them. My hair was about chin length now and fell in weird wavy lengths.

"It's not going to kill ya!" Sandra pouted as I backed away from her in my room.

"Don't get anymore closer." I warned putting a hand in front of my mouth. She was trying to put make up on me. And she was going for the cherry bomb lipstick first.

"Stop being such a scaredy cat Sky." she stated more firmly. Then she pounced. I yelped and ran out of the room, down the stairs, passed a confused Martha, and out the front door. Only to run into someone. That someone shot their arms out to keep me from falling on my ass.

"Thanks!" I said hurriedly and looked up. "Oh hey Danny. Here to see Ev? Well she's inside I gotta go!" I announced hearing Sandra yelling my name inside. He let go of my arms.

"Actually I'm here to see you."

"Huh?" I asked looking at him with my head shifted to the side.

"Skyla!" the voice was closer.

"Well then c'mon…let's go…" I motioned for him to start moving and hopped slightly away from the stairs of the house.

"Why are you in a hurry?" the door to the house swung open.

"If you gotta talk to me you better keep up!" I yelled taking off down the road.

"SKYLA!" Sandra screeched as I tore down the street. I could hear his footsteps following me. Once I knew I was a safe distance from the house I stopped running.

"Okay…why…are you…running?" he asked sounding breathless.

"She was trying to put lipstick on me." I said with my hands on my knees. That took a lot out of me.

"That's why?" he didn't sound like he believed me.

"Yes…now why do you want to talk?" his mouth turned down into a frown. "No." I answered curtly and started walking again.

"I didn't even say anything." he kept up with me easily now.

"You didn't have to." a shirt was handed to me. "What's this for?" I asked looking at him while taking his shirt.

"You're in a tank top." I looked down and yes I was in one of the few guy tank tops I had bought while still pretending to be a guy. I pulled on his shirt. I was also in pants. "Will you at least explain something for me?"

"Sure." I said reluctantly as we walked.

"Is that the reason why your so stubborn about not looking like a girl?" his question pulled me up short. No one had ever asked that before. Well no one was talking to me about what had happened anyways. I mean back home, my real home, women wore pants and shirts like I was doing right now all the time. I was just being my normal self.

"To tell you the truth I never even thought of it that way." he nodded. We were nearing the house again. We just went around the pretty large block. "I'll see you tomorrow at work." I walked back into the house, and sighed in relief when it was empty.

AN: I ended it here because the next chapter or so starts another bit of adeventureish stuff. I already have it written but still need to edit it and stuff. As to who Danny, Raif, Evelyn, and Sky end up with is still undecided. Please review guys I love hearing from you.


	9. Far From Home

AN: Hello everyone! I appreciate the feedback! Here is the ninth chapter. I wanted to treat you guys to a longer one this time. I hope you all enjoy and don't forget to review.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 9: Far From Home

A week later word came in that Raif, Danny, and I had a flight to Washington D.C. to meet the President. The President of the United States. I was going to meet President Franklin. I understood why I was meeting him as well. I was girl, and I joined the military under false pretences. I hoped he wasn't mad at me. We were to go on the flight that evening. We were to stay in Washington D.C. for four days.

Evelyn and Barbara were helping me pack my best outfits. Since I really needed help in that area. I already showed them I could put on my own make up when we had a girls night out to the movie theatre. I had my own set of curlers, since that was the only thing I could do to my hair at the moment. I also took my uniform because I would wear that when I met the President. I would show him that I was as much of a pilot as anyone else.

"Hey Sky the boys are here for you!" Sandra announced from down stairs.

"Tell 'em to wait a few would ya?" I called back down earning a snort.

"You know Sky, you look pretty when you try to be a girl." Barbara commented holding up a shirt from my drawer.

"Well thanks." I said sarcastically.

"No I'm serious. I mean you are an eye grabber. You're tall, thin, not to mention you were a pilot, plus you have extremely gorgeous eyes." they were forest green color.

"Thanks Barbara…" I mumbled feeling really self conscious now.

"You should have more faith in yourself Sky…" Evelyn said quietly with a smile. I gave her a tight lipped smile back before closing up the suitcase.

"See you guys in four days, hopefully." I left the house with a small smile.

"You are a true woman now." Raif told me as he grabbed my suitcase from me.

"Oh and why is that?" I asked with a mock scowl before getting into the car.

"You took forever to get down here." he smiled making me scoff at his implication.

We were all seated in a row on the plane. Other people going to the mainland were on the plane as well, so it wasn't very awkward. I did get seated in between the two of them though. Making conversation didn't sound like a very good idea, and the only topic I could think of was Evelyn for some seriously weird reason. Over the few weeks I've been living with her I've gotten over my blind dislike. She really was a good person. I still felt that rather large pulse of jealousy every time I would see her and Danny together. It was hard…but I was slowly getting use to the ache.

We were suppose to fly to the mainland. Stop at the base on the shore of California and take another plane to Washington D.C. Colonel Doolittle would probably be riding that second plane with us. We were an hour in on the five hour flight to the main land and Raif and Danny were both doing the nervous leg hop. They didn't like being in a plane and not piloting it.

"Okay either one of you stop with the leg thing or just stop all together. I feel like I'm having my own personal earthquake."

"Sorry." they both mumbled stopping their legs. I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me, sorry to bother you but are you the female pilot?" I turned my head to see a woman who looked about nineteen sitting in a seat across from Raif's.

"Yes." I answered slowly and the young woman's face lit up.

"You are my idol! I'm actually going back to the main land to be an actress, because you gave me the confidence to believe in myself." my mouth would of dropped open if I wasn't so shocked. I was an idol to her? What? "Is it true you'd rather wear pants then skirts?"

"Well I'm wearing pants now…" I trailed off feeling a little speechless.

"Wow! You're so brave!" she turned away after that.

"You're inspiring women all around." Raif said with a smile. I nodded.

"And you have no idea how to react." Danny stated sounding amused.

"Not a clue…" I let my head fall into my hand. I wasn't even in my own time. Where I came from me being a pilot was nothing to get excited over. Wearing pants wasn't unheard of, it was actually something most women preferred.

"Don't get all down because of it." I glanced at Danny.

"That's not it." I said deliberately slow. I've been doing this lately…missing my home. I didn't belong here that much was for certain. I had tried, and tried, and it had worked for a while because I was pretending to be a guy. Now I had to be a woman. I wasn't even sure how women acted like here other then that they were modest. Modesty and appearance was everything. I hated it. I wasn't an overly modest person, and I never cared about my appearance. I didn't understand how things worked half the time, and when I did understand what was happening my knowledge was too advanced for anyone to understand.

"Don't like being in a plane your not piloting?" Raif's voice sounding slightly curious. No, it wasn't that either.

"It's nothing." I shook my head and rested it against the head rest.

We got off the plane in what seemed like forever. We were greeted by Colonel Doolittle. We got our bags and were shipped off on another plane. This time I sat next to Danny and some other person. Raif was seated with Colonel Doolittle. The beginnings of a headache was creeping up into my skull.

"Have you ever been in love?" the question was kind of out of the blue. My stomach clenched painfully. I've been in love twice in my life. Once was with Mason and we were in sixth grade. I was convinced we would be together forever, then he moved away. And the second time was with Danny. And that didn't really get anywhere except for one kiss.

"Yes I have." both times it felt like my heart had died. I had let him go to be with Evelyn, because I didn't belong here. It hurt to talk to him most of the time, but I ignored it. I endured it because I valued his friendship.

"What happened?" why did he have to pry right now?

"He never saw me more then a friend." disappointment filled my voice. I saw Danny lean heavily back in his chair.

"You're in love with Raif aren't you."

"What?" I asked twisting in my seat with my mouth open wide and my eyebrows disappeared behind my bangs. He didn't even open his eyes. I sat forward in my seat and folded my hands in my lap. Here goes nothing. "Danny, I wasn't talking about Raif…" there was a very pregnant silence after that. I pursed my lips and sank lower into my chair. "I think I'm just going to go to sleep now. Wake me before we land." I muttered knowing my cheeks were glowing red. I laid my head towards the guy I didn't know and closed my eyes. What did I just do?

I didn't sleep, but I pretended to. Getting off the plane was alright. I wasn't allowed to carry my bag though, which kind of annoyed me but I understood why. None of us talked while we were being taken to where we'd be staying at. Though I did look out the window and admire the sights. I'd been to Washington D.C. only a few times in my life. And seeing it in 1942 was very intriguing.

We were put in a condo thing. Colonel Doolittle got his own condo, while Raif, Danny, and me had to share. It had a small kitchen a living room two bedrooms and a bathroom. Cozy in the old fashioned way. We were told we were getting the time to rest because we had just crossed all of the U.S.. Currently we were standing in the middle of the place looking at the bedroom doors.

"Sky you'll get one room and Danny and I will share." Raif said always the one to take charge.

"I don't mind taking the-"

"That would be rude of us to make you sleep on the couch." all my protests dropped and I walked to the bedroom to the right. I dropped my bag off and changed into more comfortable clothes. I slipped on the black and small white poka dotted dress. It had somewhat ruffled short sleeved and it buttoned in the front. It had a slight v neck.

"Hey Sky?" Raif asked from the kitchen. I walked out of my room barefoot and went over. He was looking in the fridge.

"Yes?" he looked up at me before looking back in the fridge.

"I think we're all eating out tonight…" he mumbled. I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned over the fridge door to see it was completely empty.

"Oh my…well if stores are still open I can go buy some food. I can cook you know."

"I don't think they will be. It's already pretty late." he said still looking at the fridge with a slightly pained look. He seemed really hungry.

"Alright just let me put my stockings on, where'd Danny go anyhow?" I asked beginning to walk back to the room to retrieve my stockings.

"Taking a shower I believe." I nodded and entered my temporary room. I hunted around in my suitcase for my stockings. I had learned early on stockings were pretty much everything to women. Again I didn't understand the why's to it, but I went along with them all and wore the stockings. I grudgingly slipped into my heels. I walked back out seeing Danny with freshly wet hair and in more comfortable clothing, and Raif in a clean shirt and pants.

"Ready to go?" I asked running my hands through my hair. They nodded and both reached to open the door. I chuckled at them both. "Don't worry boys, I have it handled." I opened the door and walked through.

"Most independent woman I've met." Raif commented after they'd figured out who's going through the door first. I felt bad their relationship was more awkward then anything now.

"And don't forget that." I grinned over my shoulder.

"So what are we eating tonight?" Danny asked looking at me and Raif. They caught up to me and I stood in between the two.

"Hmm…maybe a diner?" Raif supplied with a shrug.

"I would die for a double cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake." I practically groaned closing my eyes. When no one said anything I opened my eyes. They were hiding their laughter behind their hands. "Okay what did I do now?"

"Well, Miss. Penber you certainly are a hearty eater." Danny smirked at me. I looked straight at my shoes.

Dinner was relaxing…and unruly entertaining. I must have looked pretty good as a girl, because the waiter was extra nice to me. He looked to be only seventeen. Wonder how he'd react if he knew I was ten years older then him. I looked young for my age because of my father's side. My grandmother is seventy something and looks fifty. We had resilient skin as she would say.

We went to look for an open store to buy stuff for the morning, surprisingly one was open. I was going to cook eggs in the morning, because while I didn't doubt Raif's and Danny's cooking skills, I just hadn't been able to cook in a long while. The girls in the house believed that because I lived with guys for a better part of the last few years that I couldn't cook. I had enjoyed cooking back home actually. When we got back to the condo I took a shower.

"I'm going to kill you Barbara." I muttered scoring through my suitcase to look for my pajama's. All I could find was a white laced cotton nightgown. It went straight to the floor, the collar went up my neck, and the sleeves were to my wrists. I pulled it on and felt constricted by all the fabric. How did anyone wear this to bed? Well…I could just modify it, not like anyone's going to see me in this thing.

I pulled it off and went hunting around for a pair of scissors. Once I found them I laid the constricting night gown on the bed. I cut the collar off into a nice high u shaped. Next to come off was the long sleeves, I left them as little sleeves barely enough to cover over my shoulders. Then came the length of the thing. It was long, and sleeping in long none-to-loose things proved rather difficult. I cut off most of the skirt length. When I pulled it back on it fit me like a modern nightgown, the end coming to barely brush the middle of my thighs.

"God help anyone who sees me in this thing." I said with a devilish smirk, threw the scraps of cloth in a pile on the floor before climbing into bed for the night.

I woke up bright and early. I stretched lazily on the bed while yawning. I slithered out of bed before slipping out of my improvised nighty and changed into a skirt and shirt. I walked out the door. No one was awake. I decided to go to the bathroom before I would start cooking breakfast. Eggs and sausages. I use to heat up the sausages in a microwave, let's see how I fair with a stove. My feet padded almost silently into the kitchen.

I hummed a little tune I'd heard on the radio at the diner last night. I got out all the ingredients and began cooking. The sizzling pop of the sausages cooking made me smile. This reminded me of when I was growing up. My father use to cook like this on Sunday mornings. My smile faltered at the thought of my home.

"Mmm….that smells delicious." Raif's voice caused me to jump. He chuckled when I turned around with a scowl.

"You like scaring me don't you…" I glowered only getting him to laugh even more.

"Me? No way!" he feigned innocence. I rolled my eyes at him and turned back to the food.

"So Danny's still asleep?" I asked nonchalantly rolling the sausages on a plate. I poured the yellow egg mix in the pan next.

"Yep, out like a log I tell you." I could hear the humor in his voice.

"Hmm…I wonder if Doolittle would like breakfast…can you get him Raif?" I kind of felt sorry for the Colonel. He put his entire life into the Army. He must have been very lonely.

"Sure." His feet padded almost silently out the door. I heard the click of the latch and resumed cooking eggs. I made a lot anyways. Another opening and closing of a door drifted to my ears.

"Hey look your awake!" I joked using the spatula to flip the scrambled eggs.

"That smells amazing!" he groaned sleepily yawning at the same time. I nodded keeping my attention on the food. I really really hoped Raif got back quickly. "Where's Raif?"

"Getting Doolittle. I invited him over for breakfast." I glanced over my shoulder. He was in a tank top, the white fabric a stark contrast to his bronzed skin. I went back to staring at the yellow eggs. yellow was a good color…neutral, safe thoughts.

"That's nice of you." the silence that followed could only be described as heavy. There was an unspoken question in the air, and I'd be damned if I acknowledged it. I got out four plates beginning to shovel the eggs onto them, then I spread the sausages evenly between the four. "Sky What did you-"

"I'm back, with the guest in tow!" Raif's entrance couldn't have came at a better time.

"Hello Colonel Doolittle." I greeted him with a smile. "Sit down all of you."

"Hello kid." he nodded in my direction going to sit at the table where Danny and Raif were headed to. When all the plates were set in front of them I asked if they wanted something to drink.

"There's milk and water." they all opted on milk.

"Thank you for inviting me." he told me before eating. I smiled knowing I did the right thing. He must really have been lonely. "Now boys…you'll be seeing the President first. Sky, I'm entitled to hope you can keep to yourself for a day?" he asked when breakfast was done.

"Of course sir. I'll go explore the city or something." I shrugged washing the plates.

Doolittle left to go get ready. Danny and Raif retreated to their rooms to get dressed as well. I stuck to the kitchen trying to find something to distract myself with. I had money so I could go see a show or something.

"We're heading out! Don't get yourself killed!" Raif called walking towards the front door.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" I retorted with a smirk. Danny followed slowly behind. His face set in a deep scowl. Raif closed the door behind him.

"You should stay inside…read something." he commented looking up at me worriedly.

"And why would I purposely stay bored all day?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. I leaned against the counter my arms crossed.

"Because you could get hurt in the city." my heart ached but I ignored it. He only cared because he was suppose to.

"Don't worry about me."

"Well I do. " he bit out his eyes hardening. My own narrowed as I felt my anger rise.

"You have no _right_ to worry about me Danny." he didn't reply. Just left the room. I slipped down to the floor. My heart pumping viciously in my veins. Setting my skin on fire. Why…why did he have to be that way? Why did he have to care?

When I managed to drag myself out of the apartment I decided on finding the nearest park and sitting there until I felt like going back. It wasn't very hard to find one in D.C.. It was even filled with women and children. Which meant I would blend in perfectly. I sat on one of the unoccupied benches and watched the day pass.

At one point a young mother sat beside me. She carefully set down the diaper bag on the other side of her. Her little girl who looked to be six waiting impatiently to be told she could leave. They both had the same flame red hair, and freckles dotting their noses.

"Moommiee can I go play now?" the little girl whined, her large brown eyes doubling in size. One thing was for sure, I wouldn't have been able to say no.

"Yes sweetie just stay within sight." a loud squeal and the little girl was off. It was silent for a while.

"You're daughter is very cute." I told the mother with a smile. Her eyes practically melted as she watched her little girl play.

"Thank you. Do you have any?" she glanced at me before looking back over to her child.

"Nope. I'm just killing time until the guys get back." my statements must of pulled her up short.

"oh. Well I'm Anne."

"Skyla."

"So Skyla, what do you think about the Japanese being put into camps?" Camps? Oh ya…the internment camps.

"I think it's a waste of resources. They are American just like us." I shrugged sitting up straighter. "Do you think it's okay for them to be in there?"

"If they're a threat to everyone else, then of course." I nearly snorted. She actually believed in all this. It was a waste of time, and certainly brought shame to a country that believed in freedom above all else. "So are you visiting D.C.?"

"Hmm? Oh yes. I'm going to meet the President." it was like a transformation went on within her. Her face lit up and a large smile broke across her face.

"You're the woman who pretended to be a man so she could be in the military!" I blinked bewilderedly. Did everyone know about it?

"Uhh…yes."

"Wow…" she sat back against the bench. "That's really amazing." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This was another one of the things I'll never understand about this time. Being an independent woman was rare. "What was it like? Having to pretend?"

"I like pretending to be a guy more then being a girl." I stood up feeling my muscles stretching pleasantly. "Well it was a pleasure meeting you Anne."

"You too!" she shook my hand with a brilliant smile. I went back to the condo after that. Would I be known in this time as the woman who pretended to be a man just to join the army? Yes…I most likely would.

The boys still weren't back when I returned. I frowned looking around the room. There wasn't really anything to do. I sighed walking into my room. I grabbed my home made night gown, slipped out of my shoes and stockings before making my way to the bathroom. The towels were neatly stacked under the sink.

The shower I took didn't do much else then relax me. When I finally stepped out of the stream of water the mirror was fogged, and the air in the bathroom was heavy. I wrapped my hair in a towel and slipped on my night gown. I walked out of the bathroom with a lazy smile. I hadn't taken that long of a shower since I was back home.

Home…I shook my head fiercely dispelling the on coming ache. I walked over to the small radio in the living room and turned it on. I raised the volume as far as it would go before grabbing one of the complimentary magazines on the coffee table. I sprawled out on the couch bouncing my feet to the rhythm of the music as I read the magazine. It was then that the boys came home.

"I could hear that all the way down the hall." Raif teased walking through the door. I closed the magazine and popped up from the couch.

"Finally your both home! I've been dying of boredom!" I smiled as they walked into the room. Both Raif and Danny's eyes fell to my attire. I blinked looking down at myself realizing I was in nothing more then my mini night gown, and had a towel wrapped around my head. "Uhhh…" a blush spread across my cheeks. Both guys turned around a light blush on their faces. I silently pulled the towel from my head and wrapped it around my hips. "I kinda forgot I was wearing it?" I supplied creeping towards my bedroom door.

"I would hope so." Raif stated sounding like he was smiling. Only he would be able to make this a joke.

"How do you forget wearing something like that?" Danny asked sounding more accusing then anything. I scowled before finally entering my room. I slammed the door behind me.

"Stupid boys, Stupid Danny." I muttered feeling my cheeks flame with anger. I ripped the towel from my hips and threw it across the room. "You forget one simple thing…" I continued to mutter incoherent words as I shoved on a pair of pants and a decent looking shirt. When I emerged from the room Raif was sitting on the couch I had recently vacated in more comfortable clothes, and Danny was no where in sight. The sound of the shower going was answer enough.

"And the male Sky emerges!" Raif teased when he looked over at me. I rolled my eyes at him going over to the couch. I sat on the other side my body turned toward him so I could talk.

"So what happened?" I asked crossing my legs.

"Well we received a medal of honor. The President was pretty nice, extremely proud of us and what we did. He sounded curious to meet with you." my eyes widened slightly. "Don't worry he looked relaxed while talking about you." the look on my face must have told him I wasn't convinced. "Everything will work out. We'll be back on a plane to Hawaii in no time." a pained look crossed his face at the thought of Hawaii. I sighed heavily sinking into the couch before I got up to get something to drink.

"How about the first thing we do when we get back to Hawaii is get a drink at the hula hut?" I called over towards Raif as I hunted around for a glass. An amused snort drifted over toward me.

"The best plan I've heard in my life." his voice sounded only a hint of bitterness. I found a glass and poured some water into it. A few moments later the bathroom door opened to reveal a freshly showered Danny. He was in a tank top and pants. I took a sip of my water absentmindedly. "Lookin forward to getting back to Hawaii?" Raif asked his best friend, or who use to be his best friend. I wasn't quite sure on their relationship at the moment.

"Yaa…" his voice dripped with warmth. I found myself scowling into my glass. I set it down with a little extra force then necessary. Both men looked in my direction slightly startled. I smiled to play it off.

"I think I'm going to head to the store. Buy something for dinner." I told them going off toward my room to get my purse and shoes.

"I'll go with." Danny volunteered, but I knew his motive. He wanted to ask me about the plane. I didn't want to talk to him about it.

"I don't need an escort you know." I muttered glaring at him. His handsome boyish face was turned down in a frown.

"These streets get pretty rowdy at night Sky." Raif pointed out. "I'd go with but I really need to clean up." I steeled myself and nodded.

"Be right out." I told Danny disappearing into my room. I let out a sigh running a hand through my messy hair. I slipped out of my pants and shimmied into one of my skirts. I tugged on my heels and grabbed my purse. Danny was already out of the condo when I came out the door.

We didn't talk at all on the way to the store. The silence was heavy and filled with silent words. I refused to start the conversation. If he wanted to talk to me about what I had said on the plane then he'd have to ask about it. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. It wasn't my place to love him. I was from the future, a future where he is nothing more then a character in a movie.

I decided to cook something simple and bought the appropriate ingredients. The market wasn't very busy and I was thankful for that. The cashier was nice enough. The whole time we didn't talk, didn't even murmur a word. We had split the two bags between us. I just hoped we got back quickly.

"Sky…" he started but nothing else followed. I glanced over at him seeing his brow furrowed and an uncharacteristic down turn of his lips. I swallowed hard and continued walking.

"Ya?" I asked quietly gripping my purse in my hands.

"Who were you talking about on the plane?" his voice seemed to silence the world. All I could hear was the blood rushing to my ears, and the feel of my heart pounding in my chest. Why did he have to know? Why couldn't he just be satisfied with suspecting? "Sky?" he said my name softly. I took in a deep breath to answer him.

"You…I was talking about you." my mouth suddenly felt dry and my stomach did a nervous jump. The silence that followed was golden. I closed my eyes feeling the moisture gathering. He would never love me back. He was madly in love with Evelyn. They were having a baby together. That sealed the deal in this time period. If you were having children together, then you were to be together.

"Raif still loves Evelyn doesn't he." that little statement pulled me up short. I pretty much tell him I'm in love with him and he changes the subject completely.

"That's it? You're just going to change the subject? Like you never heard anything?" I practically growled as we walked into the building. His beautiful brown eyes refused to look at me. I grit my teeth in annoyance. "Way to take it like a man Danny." I muttered sarcastically. I pushed the button for the elevator to go to our floor.

"What would you want me to say Sky?" he snapped, and I realized he was a lot more effected by what I told him then he'd allowed me to see. Danny rarely ever got angry. I heard the bag drop before two muscular arms trapped me to the side of the small metal box. I flinched looking up seeing Danny's eyes glittering with emotions. "You want to know how I feel about it? How I feel about you?" he almost demanded.

This was a side of Danny I've never seen. I found my head inclining hesitantly. I never expected him to kiss me. His lips were hard against mine, demanding, full of need. Nothing like the first time we had kissed. When he pulled away both our breathing was hard. I blinked looking up at him with wide eyes. What was that?

"What…why…just…why?" I struggled for words as I stared at him. He was struggli I woke up bright and early. I stretched lazily on the bed while yawning. I slithered out of bed before slipping out of my improvised nighty and changed into a skirt and shirt. I walked out the door. No one was awake. I decided to go to the bathroom before I would start cooking breakfast. Eggs and sausages. I use to heat up the sausages in a microwave, let's see how I fair with a stove. My feet padded almost silently into the kitchen.

AN: I will try and get the next chapter out soon. Review please.


	10. In Fate's Hand

AN: Hey guys, I FINALLY have the tenth chapter up. Sorry about that, I've just had a hectic life with killer writers block. I've written this chapter at least twelve times trying to get it right, I'm not even sure if I did. I'd like to thank all the feedback for this story. It's pretty cool to see so many people like it. Anyways enough of me talking. Please review.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 10: In Fate's Hand

"I…Sky I love you." my brain momentarily froze. He what? "I have for a while, but you were a guy to everyone else, and then everything with Evelyn. I fell in love with her, but I love you." his gaze was burning.

I pursed my lips frowning at myself when I reveled in his lingering taste. I took in a deep, almost shuddering breath before speaking, "Get out of the way Danny."

"What?" he looked down at me with shocked brown eyes. I laid my hands on his chest and pushed him away. I'd been living with guys for the passed few years, you tend to learn how to handle people bigger then you.

"This kind of stuff…it doesn't happen. Not now…not here…" I murmured closing my eyes briefly. This didn't happen in the 40's. Maybe in a couple decades, but not now.

I didn't look at him as the elevator door opened. I ignored his presence as we walked the short way to the condo door. He opened it for me like any gentleman would. Raif was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. He looked bored out of his mind.

"Home with food." I told him setting my bag down on the counter. He instantly dropped the magazine, doing a 360 at the same time.

"Finally! Any longer and I would have begun eating my feet." I rolled my eyes beginning to take everything out of the bags. "Hey Danny" Raif greeted his silent friend. Danny nodded mumbling something to him before disappearing into the bathroom. Raif looked back at me with raised eyebrows.

"No idea." I lied through my teeth. I managed to keep up a constant chatter with Raif while cooking. I had to continually slap his hands away from the food, but he kept my mind off of everything. Danny had reappeared for a few minutes before going into the bedroom Raif and him shared. "Hey…tell Danny dinner's done would you?" I asked knowing Raif would say yes.

I set the dinner table and served the food. I was turning out to be a real nice house wife wasn't I. I barely contained the snort of bitter amusement. I would never be a house wife. I wasn't the kind of gal men wanted to have around. I was too boyish. I liked flying planes. My body was too thin, too straight. I didn't have good skin. I'd be forever the friend of men who would cook meals.

"Are you excited to meet the President?" Raif asked while we were eating.

"I suppose so." the excitement of meeting President Roosevelt was eclipsed by Danny's kiss.

"You s'pose? Sky…you're meetin' the President of the United States! The man who's shaken _hands_ with the most important people of the world!" Raif made an exaggerated motion with his arms. I chuckled at his antics.

"Alright alright, I'm really excited. Maybe even a bit nervous." I relented hoping the subject would pass. I looked down at my half finished plate. "Well I'm pretty beat. I think Imma just turn in for the night. Can one of you wash the dishes?" I stood from the table taking my plate with me.

"Sure no problem." Danny spoke quietly. He'd been practically silent the entire time. I threw the food in the trash and placed the plate into the sink.

Once in the privacy of my room, my shoulders dropped in a tired heave. I dressed into my night gown. I wonder what went through his head when he-no…I don't care what he thought. I shook my head fiercely climbing into the bed. I didn't care what Danny thought of me. I didn't care that actually cared about me. I didn't care that he kissed me. And I especially didn't care about those words he spoke to me. I momentarily wondered how I got so well at lying to myself before sleep consumed me.

When I woke up that morning I started getting ready. I laid out my uniform on the bed so I could change into it when I was done taking my shower. The shower did nothing more then to wake my body up fully. When I left the bathroom I could see Raif and Danny in the kitchen.

It felt surreal to wear this uniform and not looking like a boy. I glanced at myself in the mirror. Man who would have thought I would end up here. In the forties about to meet the President for joining the military under false pretences? I smiled at my reflection beginning to pin my hair back. I grabbed my cap walking out the door.

"You're looking sharp." Raif commented when he noticed me coming out of my room.

"Why thank you." I grinned. Okay I'll admit it, I was excited to see the President. Danny kissing me last night could be wallowed and analyzed later. Today was my day to show that I was a sophisticated woman who deserved to be up in the air as much as the men do.

"Gunna give people heart attacks." Danny smirked casually. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. Maybe he knew that too, that today wasn't about our emotions for each other.

"Now we're not the best cooks, but we tried." Raif jerked his head in the direction of the table. It was set with what looked like eggs and bacon.

"Couldn't be any worse then Barbara. Damn woman can't cook water." I muttered shaking my head.

Breakfast was filled with light chatter. I was getting giddier by the minute. Both boys had no idea what they were going to do with the day, but for the sake of their friendship I hope they hung out together. They were such great friends before all the Evelyn stuff happened. They were brothers in everything but blood and name. I would hate to see them lose that all because of a woman.

Doolittle came for me about an hour later. He complimented me on how I looked before we were off in a very official looking car. It reminded me of when I landed back at Pearl Harbor from the air raid. I was awaiting an unknown fate, maybe this time I wouldn't need Doolittle this time. I wiped my hands on my pants.

"Nervous?" I glanced over at the Colonel and nodded. "He's a real nice man, you got nothing to worry about."

"I know…but…I just can't help but be nervous." I gave a tittering smile that broke off as we stopped.

The white house was as beautiful as I could remember it. There were a lot of people in suits milling around. Maybe they weren't the secret service yet, but still you had to protect the President during times of war. I saluted the people I was suppose to as I walked beside Colonel Doolittle. I could feel their stares as I passed. I was a woman in a man's uniform. Oh God I really hoped I'd make it through this.

We came up to an oak wood door. I didn't notice any of the paintings hanging in the halls, I was focused on the ground around me. It wasn't that I felt unwelcome, it just was an entirely different air to this place. I swallowed hard watching Colonel Doolittle knock on the door. This was it, my moment to meet the President. When the door opened my resolve shrank.

Inside the office, the famous oval office. It looked slightly different then it had, besides the desk. The great dark wood desk that, if my memory serves me right, the current President added in a door to hide the fact he was in a wheel chair. President Roosevelt himself sat behind the desk.

He was kind looking, but powerful. He seemed to have that air of power around him. His hair was graying, and his skin slightly sagging. I stood at attention saluting the President along with Colonel Dootlittle. He smiled softly waving for us to relax.

"Hello Mr. President." I spoke clearly, but quietly.

"Hello Captain Penber. I've heard a lot about you my dear." I nodded timidly unsure of what to do. "Sit down dear, you look ready to fall over." a blushed out of mortification. Why of all the days I'm unable to hide my emotions. I practically tiptoed over to one of the couches. These cushions have been sat on by a whole lot of important people. He wheeled himself out from behind the desk and stopped across from me.

"It's an honor to meet you sir." I didn't cross my legs but I had them tightly pressed together.

"I could be saying the same for you Miss. Penber. My wife talks to me all the time about you these days. She would love to know your story." he chuckled lightly. I smiled in return. "Now I've been read the reasons you gave for pretending to be a man and joining the army, but I would like to personally know what was going through your mind when you enlisted?" he asked looking at me with slight confusion. Well Mr. President, I knew I had to stick close to Danny and Raif, you see I'm actually from a future alternate universe where this is just a movie. Nope…couldn't say that.

"Ah…well actually to tell you the truth I was going to enlist to become a nurse, but the man there already mistook me for a male. I just went with it really." I shrugged my cheeks heating up once again. It was silent in the room before he started laughing. It was one of those belly rolling laughs. "I know it sounds silly sir, but-"

"No dear, not silly at all. Actually it's ingenious what you did." his laughter slowly dying off. "From one misconception you changed your entire life, and no doubt the fate of many others. You were involved in the Raid with Captain McCawley and Captain Walker yes?" I nodded. "They spoke very highly of you dear."

"Sir? If I may…are you not angry at me?" I had to ask. I was a woman who impersonated a man, joined the Air force, and something no one knew was change the course of fate by saving Danny.

"No, I'm not. You risked your life for your country, proved to us that women are just as capable as men." the pride in his voice nearly made me beam. I was complimented by the President. "I've come to an understanding that you're still on duty yes?" he looked to Colonel Doolittle for confirmation. The colonel nodded. "Well I see no reason to take you out. You're a good solider Captain Penber."

"Thank you sir." I answered humbly with a small smile. I couldn't wait to tell the guys that I was complimented by the President of the United States.

The rest of the visit went by in a breeze. I also met the first lady. Eleanor Roosevelt was a woman not to be trifled with. She had the outlook of a modern day woman…well my modern day anyhow. If I remembered correctly from history class in high school she would be dubbed 'The First Lady of America'. Her contributions to America would be astounding. She also loved that I took a stand and did what I wanted regardless of what people thought. We got along very well, and before I knew it I was in the car with Colonel Doolittle going back to the condo.

"See you tomorrow kid." Doolittle told me as we went up to our rooms.

"You too." I unlocked the door and stepped inside. We would be going back to Hawaii tomorrow. My stomach dropped at the thought of having to see Evelyn again. Could I keep it quiet that Danny had kissed me?

"And she returns!" Raif called from the kitchen. Danny was chopping up tomato's while he was cooking what looked like sausages.

"How was the president?" Danny asked glancing up from his work. I yawned slipping out of my shoes and moving towards the little table.

"Pretty relaxed considering the circumstances." I sunk down into a chair laying my head on my arms. "I'm so sleepy…" I yawned again.

"Hope you don't mind a southern dish."

"I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse." I mumbled at whoever spoke. There were two sets of laughs making me smile sleepily. "So how'd you two fare?" I asked once dinner was done and on the table. They looked and one another and shrugged. Typical guy thing to do, also code name for their day was whatever.

"I'm not looking forward to going back to sleep on a cot." Raif complained eating another forkful of food.

"They ain't that bad. Well…besides the springs." Danny chuckled. Raif cracked a smile at that. Maybe their friendship was lost after all.

"It's like sleepin on a rock…a lumpy rock." Dinner that night was nice. It was almost like we were all back in Tennessee at Raif's house. The only thing missing was his mother's apple pies and the smell of wheat fields. I didn't have the best of sleep that night.

None of us talked on the way to the airport. The lightness of the night before had been drowned by the impending homecoming. Danny would be greeted by a pregnant Evelyn. Raif and I would nod, maybe share a few words and leave. They were the happy couple. Evelyn who loved Raif and Danny who…well I don't really know. I'd probably end up at the Hula hut with Raif tonight. Drinking away our problems because we couldn't do much else about them.

There was a short lay away period between getting from the west coast to Hawaii. A very silent period of time. I didn't even have anything to say. I wasn't looking forward to getting back to Hawaii. I glanced over at Danny. He'd be a love sick man the moment he saw Evelyn again. Sure he might actually have feelings for me, but who was I kidding? He'd stay with Evelyn no matter what. She was carrying his child. A beautiful baby boy. In a few years they'd move back-wait a moment.

Danny was suppose to die. Now that he's alive…this isn't in the movie. Things could turn out differently. Evelyn could be carrying a girl for all I know. She and Raif had moved back to his home…but would Danny do the same? I knew his father owned a plot of land right next to Raif's. I have no idea what could happen now. I'm in the dark. For the first time since coming to this time….I don't know what's going to happen.

Danny and Raif could be sent into combat. They could die out there. I sank into the plane seat feeling my heart begin to clench uncomfortably in my heart. One of them could be hurt while working with the new recruits. They could die in a test flight. Evelyn could miscarriage for all I know. Danny wasn't suppose to make it back alive…I'd changed the fate of their lives. I didn't know what would happen anymore. I was in the hands of fate now.

"Earth to Sky." a hand waved in front of my face. I blinked rapidly turning toward Raif who was staring at me worriedly. "You okay in there? I've been calling your name for five minutes." I nodded my head.

"Fine," my voice was raspy. I cleared it hurriedly. "Just fine."

"Well…okay." he didn't believe me. "Plane's landed." I nodded again and stood up. "You sure your okay?"

"Ya, I'm fine." I faked a yawn. "Just tired." he nodded slowly, still not believing me. I couldn't very well tell him what I was thinking about. He'd sign me off as insane. I couldn't let anyone know I was from the future. That in my time this was just a movie. This was my one secret to keep until I died, because no matter what happens I was going to die.

XxXxXx

It was well into May when it finally happened. Evelyn was looking more and more pregnant by the day. Both the expecting parents were joyfully anticipating the new comer. Evelyn was now off duty. You couldn't be in the military and pregnant. Her and Danny had rented a tiny house. Danny had come by the house one day looking more nervous then I had ever seen him. I'd been the unfortunate one to answer the door. Evelyn was still getting ready for their date. Since I was his only good girl friend he'd shown me what he planned on doing. I nearly fainted from the panic.

It was my fault really that I was in pain. I had made it clear that nothing could happen between Danny and I. I'd been given everything I wanted. He loved me, but he was with Evelyn. I wouldn't come between that. I would be the martyr, just as Raif was. I would watch the one I love whisk away the girl my friend was in love with. It wasn't a surprise that she said yes. That was two months ago.

At the moment I was sitting on a white chair. The ocean waves crashed against the sea, making a rhythmic beat. My own constant beat was pumping wildly. It felt like I was about to keel over. No heart was meant to beat that fast, that hard. My legs were properly crossed over one another, my black heels gleaming in the light. My dress was a simple dark blue button up piece. My hair was curled and pinned away from my face. I had the happiest of smile's taped onto my face.

I didn't really listen to what the priest was saying. I didn't look at the radiant Evelyn in her white dress, or Danny looking as happy as could be in a suit. I looked at the archway around them. I looked at the smile on Raif's face as he stood beside Danny. I listened to the soft coo's of a little baby. I didn't want to watch this.

I clapped and cheered as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. My chest feeling heavier and heavier with each passing moment. I congratulated them at the reception. God it was all so perfect. They looked happy, their son was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The reception was at the Hula Hut. I could buy as many drinks as I wanted. I was sitting at a table watching everyone dance.

Raif was dancing with Sandra. The girl had worked up the courage to ask him to dance. I think she had a slight crush on the sandy haired southern boy. He looked to be enjoying himself. Danny and Evelyn were slow dancing off by themselves. They were enjoying being a married couple. I took a long drink from the beer. They really were happy together. Martha and Barbra were coddling the little boy as his parents danced.

The only thing I really wished I could do right now was fly. I missed being up in the air, soaring through the clouds. The feel of the plane around me. The sky was a privilege and it was taken away from me. I could always just be a small time pilot. Once I got out of the military I could save up to buy myself a plane. That was if I was still here. I didn't know what lay ahead of me and it scared me. For years I've known the future, have known what would happen at every turn. Now…now I was a blind man in a sea of people. I finished off my third beer and stood to go order another.

"Hey Sky…you should slow down on those." Gooz advised me as I slowly walked up to the bar. I gave him a side long glance.

"It's not like I'm driving anywhere." I told him waving down the bar tender. Gooz shrugged as I ordered my fourth beer. I didn't feel like walking back towards the table I had vacated so I sat down on a bar stool. "Nice night for a wedding."

"Yup, moons out and everything." he took a drink from his own beer. "You doin' alright though?" I sighed taking a big gulp of the beer.

"I'm peachy." I answered sounding more bitter then anything. I didn't want to be here anymore. I had done what I could. I kept Danny alive to see his son be born. There wasn't much else I could do anymore. I had filled my purpose.

"huh." he answered rolling his eyes. I took another drink from the beer.

It was all a very story book wedding day. It ended with the happy couple riding off to their house with their son in tow. After that everyone seemed to scatter. I walked off towards the beach. I didn't want to go back to the house. I wasn't in the mood to be around the others. I wasn't really in the mood for anything. I was drunk and I was feeling like shit. The two were never a good combination. I looked around myself, seeing nothing but beach, ocean, and sky. I sniffed glaring up at the sky. The pain and anger welled in my chest. I took in a shuddering breath feeling tears begin to fall down my cheeks.

"Why am I here!" I shouted up into the heavens, the tears rolled down my face uninterruptedly. "Did I do something wrong!" I sobbed openly on the deserted little piece of beach. My breath caught and I doubled over from the severe pain radiating through out my body. My knees hit the gritty sand, my arms wrapping firmly around my middle. "Please…" I cried rocking forward. "I wasn't a sinner!" I called out to the unresponsive moonlit sky. The somber gray light held me no comfort this night. "Just please…tell me why I'm here…" I wailed doubling over once more.

Of course the blackened sky never relented the answers. And I was sure that if there was a god he was laughing at me. That was the only explanation for all of this. I was being spited. Spited for something I didn't know I was doing. Maybe because I had pushed my brother to enlist and he died because of it. A shudder wracked my body. Was that truly it? Was I being punished for that?

Fate had me dying in a plane crash only to be swept up into a movie turned reality. It had me fall in love with a man that I could never have, made me know exactly what would transpire between him and the woman he loved. Had me feel responsible for his life, so he could see his son be born. Fate hated me. No matter what happened I wasn't happy…never truly happy.

"Is this what it's all about? Making me the joke of the universe?" I asked looking up knowing I would never get an answer back. I was on my own here. I had no one to turn to. No one at all.

"Sky?" a soft wilting voice cut off my thoughts. I looked over seeing Raif standing a few feet away, a look of concern on his face. I sat up, still seated on my knees and scrubbed at the tears on my face. "Sky are you okay?" he asked in that same soft voice and walked forward.

"No…no I don't think I am…" I croaked slumping my shoulders.

"Mind if I sit?" he motioned to the sand beside me. I shrugged not caring whether he wanted to sit or skinny dip. He settled his weight in the sand looking out towards the ocean. "Was it as painful for you today as it was for me?" he asked quietly fiddling the sand. I glanced over at him. He met my gaze steadily. "You're not going to tell me you're not in love with him now are you?" I would of cracked a smile at his bluntness, but I wasn't feeling up to it.

"Yes…it hurt…it took everything I had to keep on that smile." I grimaced remembering the small little wedding from this afternoon. I sat on the grooms side, watching Danny get married to Evelyn. Raif stood right beside it all, as the best man.

"She was so happy…I knew right then that she didn't love me any longer…that she had given up her feelings for me." I would of offered a comforting hug, or a pat on the shoulder but I wasn't feeling up to it.

"I don't know what sounds worse, once having the one you loved or never having them at all." I muttered bitterly drawing my legs up to my chest since I was loosing feeling in them by sitting on them.

"I say both, because in the end…the pain is the same." we both sighed.

"Yet tomorrow we'll put on our happy faces, and act as if we weren't sitting on a beach in the middle of the summer moping about our broken feelings." I swallowed over the lump in my throat.

"Yes we will because that's who we are. You know…I regret volunteering for the RAF."

"then you and Danny would have been in the barracks that morning, and you wouldn't of been sleeping in the car. And probably wouldn't of made it to the sky. Everything happens for a reason, if that's one fucking thing I was taught about all this shit, it's that." I ground out with narrowed eyes.

"I never thought of that…that day was so hectic. Why were you already there anyways?" he asked turning to look at me. I leaned my head against my knees to stare in his direction.

"Just like I told Earl, I had a bad feeling something was going to happen so I drove out there the night before." I shrugged blinking slowly.

"Good thing you did Sky." he gave a small half smile.

"Even if I didn't…you and Danny would of made it up in the air. It wouldn't of made much a difference….one plane. Only one plane more then before." I wiped the new tears forming. I didn't even belong here. I could feel his confused stare. I had done one thing important though…I saved Danny's life. That counted for something. He saw his son be born. He'd live happily with Evelyn.

"You say the weirdest things sometimes…" he trailed off letting his voice fade into the unforgiving night. I did say weird things…even after the years of living in the past I still clung to the future.

"I'm a pretty weird person Raif." I pointed out moving my legs so that I was sitting cross legged. He chuckled, the sound not at all like his usual light airy one, this was coarse.

"I guess you are." oh the joy of being the ones blown away by the spiteful fate. "I think we should be heading back." I agreed silently, and we both stood. He walked me to the house like any gentleman would.

"Bye Raif…and thank you for being here tonight." My voice sounded loud against the stillness of the night.

"Don't thank me…I needed it just as much as you. See you tomorrow." I nodded and went up into the house. I tip toed quietly into my room, now vacated because Evelyn had moved into the small house Danny had rented out for them. I dressed into my pj's and slipped under the covers.

The weight of the day crashed down upon me, and once again I found the hot sting of tears fill my eyes. I curled on my side facing the wall and allowed them to roll down my face. Who knew it would hurt this much. I knew in my heart it was suppose to be this way now. That Danny and Evelyn belonged together, but I didn't like it. I was never a selfish person to begin with, but I desperately wished I told Danny my feelings about him sooner. A lot sooner then the plane ride to see the president. I fell into a darkness I hadn't known for years.

"Hey Sky wake up." the voice penetrated the fog within my mind. I opened my eyes and was met with the harsh light of day. I groaned and rubbed at my sand paper eyes while sitting up.

"Huh?" I asked with a yawn threatening to surface. I squinted up at Barbara.

"Work today sweetheart. Red's already waiting outside for you." her words jolted me awake. I scrambled out of bed and ran to my dresser. She merely smiled and shook her head. "Should I tell him to wait a few minutes?"

"Yes please. Thanks Barb." I smiled at her before hurrying to find clothes to wear. I was just going to wear a jumpsuit over them anyways, but still. I dressed in record time and simply racked my hands in my hair to make it look decent enough. I roughly pulled my shoes on while hopping down the stairs. Why hadn't anyone woken me up earlier?

"Sky!" I skid to a stop and turned. Sandra was holding an apple in her hand. She threw it at me and I caught it. "You need breakfast." I nodded my thanks and hurried out the door.

"Heyyy she finally appears!" Raif joked when I came out of the house. I blinked questioningly about why he was there, but still jumped into the back seat.

"Sorry to make you wait, and what are you doin here?" I asked as Red drove off. He waved off my apology. I looked to Raif for an answer.

"Well one of my guys managed to mess up one of the engines in the planes, so I'm gunna help work on it." I nodded somewhat happy that I wouldn't have to pretend to be as normal as I was planning. Raif would understand if I was a little off today.

"There's this n-new guy at as well. All he e-ever does is talk." Red complained with a slight stutter.

"A new guy huh? Where's he gunna be stationed?"

"Well he can't be a pilot cause he got bad eyes, but he's an engineer. Guess you'll be puttin up with him." I sighed heavily. I wasn't to fond of new guys. They thought they were a helluva lot smarter then me because I was a girl. Usually I proved them wrong, and they never spoke another sexist word in my presence.

"And I thought today would have been an easy one." they both laughed at my sarcasm.

"He ain't that bad…just has that newbie talk." oh….maybe he wouldn't be an idiot. Well we'll find out.

Red parked the car and we all got out. Sure enough there was another plane in the hanger, all opened up for repair. I recognized most of the bodies under the plane, but one of them was new.

"So have we got any idea what's wrong with the bird?" I asked when we got into talking distance.

"Well…there seems to be something loose." Gooz was ever so elaborate in his explanation. "Oh ya…Tommy you should introduce yourself to the lady." the unfamiliar body hurriedly scampered from under the plane.

I was met with a boy, at least five eleven, and still had the baby fat around his cheeks. He was a child in my book for a few simple reasons. He reminded me of a little brother, and he was about eight years younger then me. He had ear length jet black hair, that was softly waved, with dark gray eyes. He had a nervous smile and his hands were wrung around each other.

"Hello, I'm Captain Penber, but people call me Sky." I held out my hand. He shook it with a shaking hand. He let go of it almost immediately afterward.

"I'm Lieutenant Nash, but I go by Tommy, sir-um…ma'am." I smiled despite my heavy feelings. I think I was gunna like this kid.

"Well Tommy nice to have you. Now do you know more about what's wrong with the plane?" he nodded vigorously. And told me everything he had gotten so far. I would admit the kid was smart. He knew what he was talking about. The next few hours were of us talking about what was wrong and the best ways to get it fixed.

"C'mon you two stop talking planes and get some lunch. You'll starve if you don't." Raif chastised and I reluctantly followed to the small area reserved for relaxing in the hanger. I was handed a pretty large sandwich.

"So Tommy where you from?" I asked taking a bite of the sandwich. I hopped up onto a semi empty table and crossed my legs. Gooz sat a little bit behind me, and Raif sat directly next to me. Red and Tommy were seated backwards at the other table.

"California Ma'am." I sighed heavily at the use of ma'am. He's been calling me that all day.

"You're gunna have to learn something reaal quick Tommy." Gooz said amusedly. "You keep calling Sky a ma'am and she'll hit you as hard as any man would." Tommy looked wide eyed from Gooz to me. I smiled pleasantly, which I was sure made him even more afraid.

"Stop picken on the kid. Don't worry Tommy, Sky won't hurt you…much." Raif smirked up at me, and I promptly flicked his ear while taking another bite of my sandwich.

"Don't listen to them. But you don't need to call me ma'am. I'm just Sky." I gave him a reassuring nod and he smiled gratefully. "Which part of California are you from?" I spent a lot of time in California before I was sent into the past.

"Southern." I knew then that my eyes lit up with happiness. My family was from California, but moved out to Arizona before I was born.

"Pretty cool most of my family was from that part." Lunch passed in relative peace, and then it was back to work. Raif was alright around a plane engine, but it was clear he was more of a pilot then a technical guy.

By the end of the day, I just wanted to curl back into bed, and never get up. I knew they all knew I wasn't myself, despite my pretty good façade. Raif was less cheerful, which everyone but the new guy knew. So it was plain and clear we were a wreck. A complete and utter mess when it came to being normal. I was just grateful I didn't have to see Danny. But of course fate decided to prove me wrong, and Danny pulled up around five. Raif and I had been talking about the gages on the plane acting a little funny.

"Hey Raif, Sky." it was just luck that for some reason we turned our heads in opposite directions from leaning in the small cockpit and promptly smashed our foreheads together.

"Ow!" I yelped grabbing my head. Raif grunted from the pain and we both more slowly turned to look at Danny.

"Ya?" Raif asked rubbing the spot where our foreheads connected.

"Well Evelyn and I were wondering if you wanted to come to dinner tonight." Dinner? Think of an excuse.

"Wouldn't you and Ev want to be alone? you guys are newly weds." Raif said it before I could. Go Raif. Danny smiled.

"Nope, it's important. Will you come?" I gave a quick glance at Raif.

"Ya…I'll go." I said with a half smile.

"Of course." Raif's smile was more convincing then mine. Danny smiled.

"Great, be at the house by eight." and with that Danny was off. When he was far enough away not to see I bowed my head and climbed off the plane.

"I think the universe hates us." I mumbled to Raif when he came up beside me. He laid his hand on my shoulder.

"Ya…I believe it does." when his hand slipped off my shoulder I missed the warmth it give off. So after work we had two hours of spare time. Red dropped me off, and Raif said he'll pick me up at seventy thirty. I felt like I was going on some seriously twisted date.

I took a shower before getting ready. I wore one of my nice looking white collared shirts, with my black skirt, and my black heels. I absentmindedly pinned my hair back to look like an elegant bump. It was getting longer by the day. With a sigh I lightly applied some blush, and a small dab of pink lipstick. I wasn't very fond of the cherry red lipstick everyone else wore. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was older then the last time I seemed to look at myself. Not exactly physically, but I seemed older. I looked like a woman of this time. I didn't look anything like I did back in my time. Dressing up for me then would have been a nice pair of slacks, a pretty designed shirt, and a simple dash of lip gloss. A knock to the door made me look away.

"Come in." Sandra opened the door in her timid way and smiled when she saw me. "Hey Sandra."

"You look very pretty. Raif's here."

"Thank you." I look down at my dog tags…they looked really out of place with this outfit on. I walked down the stairs with her.

"Hey Sky?" I turned my hand on the handle of the door. Sandra was nervously toeing at the ground. "You know…if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm here alright?" she looked up with fierce eyes.

"I know…I know." I blinked back the emotions threatening to surface and walked out of the house.

AN: Well that's it for now. Please review I very much appreciate them. Till next time!


	11. Would Have Been

AN: Hey guys, this chapter is shorter then I normally write but I wanted to post a chapter. My updates are a bit erratic but don't fear I will finish this story. Anyways, enjoy.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 11: Would Have Been

"You look nice." he commented when he opened the door for me. I slid into the car and smiled in thanks. He cleaned up nicely. Soon we were off towards Ev's new place.

"Do you think they pity us?" I asked as he drove.

"No idea…I hope not." neither do I. I didn't like getting pity from people. It just annoyed me. "Though I couldn't blame them…we are kind of at a hopeless corner." I sighed heavily and shrunk into the seat.

"There's no doubt in my mind Raif that you'll find a nice girl to settle down with." he just had that personality. People liked him. He was reckless, sweet, cunning, and a natural leader.

"Hey you're a good woman, a man would be crazy not to see that." I looked out the window, thoroughly embarrassed by his statement. The one man I did want to see that just so happened to get married yesterday. We didn't talk the rest of the way.

When we pulled up to the quaint little house I felt a heavy weight settle onto my chest. Why oh why was I subjected to this kind of torture? All the windows were lit up, signaling they were home. I sighed heavily and slipped out of the car, Raif did very much the same thing. We both glanced at each other when we reached the door. Wasn't this going to be fun? Raif knocked and not a minute later Evelyn opened the door. A slightly fussy R.J. in one of her arms.

Instead of being named after his father he had been named after his father's best friend. All kinds of fuck up in my book, but when the new parents first told Raif he took it like a trooper and smiled through it all. She smiled at us and silently invited us in trying to calm the crying baby.

"Dinner's almost done, Danny's in the living room." she told us bouncing R.J. and cooing at him.

"Here let me take him, you finish up dinner." Raif volunteered.

"Thaank you!" Evelyn gushed handing him over to Raif. "Danny tried calming him down for an hour and it didn't work." she muttered. I followed her into the kitchen while Raif went off to the living room.

"Ouch, so glad I don't want kids." I leaned against on of the counters.

"You should, their amazing besides the messes." she smiled her eyes twinkling like I have seen in many new mothers. I rolled my eyes crossing my arms over my chest. "Speaking of messes." Evelyn muttered looking around her kitchen.

"Cooking and babies do that to kitchens Ev. It's inevitable." she gave me a dead pan look going back to finishing whatever she was cooking. "See why I don't want kids?"

"You're worse then Danny, y'know that?" she said it to be good natured, but for some reason it hurt. I winced slightly at the stinging my chest before clearing my throat.

"I think I'm gunna go sit with the boys. I ain't talented in the kitchen anyhow." I bee lined it for the living room. I didn't want to stare at her go about her business. I didn't want to see that modest gold ring on her finger.

R.J. was surprisingly quiet when I walked into the living room. He was nestled comfortably in Raif's arms. Danny was staring fondly at the scene. Raif would make a wonderful father. If I wasn't here…if I never came to this time, he would have been a father. He would have been happy, with Evelyn. But Danny would be dead and rotting in the ground. His boy would never know who he was.

"You look like someone just killed you." Raif commented with the smallest of frowns. Danny looked up at me worriedly. My eyes narrowed. He shouldn't be worried about me.

"No, but that kitchen is a nightmare." I shuddered sitting down on a chair. They both laughed, though I could detect the forced quality in Raif's.

Dinner was served soon after that. Chicken with mashed potatoes and peas. Evelyn was a pretty good cook. She put little R.J. into his crib for the night a few minutes before we sat down to eat. The conversation was light and pointless. I continued to wonder what in the world they wanted to talk to us about. They were newly weds, newly weds where the wife use to date her husband's best friend and the husband was in love with a woman who had pretended to be a guy for a few years. That was an amazing relationship builder.

"So Raif, Sky." Evelyn started smiling over at Danny. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "We've been thinking about this for quite a while, and we think this will be the best decision." best decision for what? What could they possibly want with Raif and I? I glanced over at Raif who had the same curious look on his face.

"We want to name you as R.J.'s God parents." my entire being momentarily shut down. They wanted us to be-what? They thought it would be best if we did-what? Raif opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "We know it's a lot but," he looked to Evelyn and smiled his eye crinkling smile.

"You both are our closest friends and we know that if anything happened to us that R.J. would be in capable hands." Evelyn finished. Oh great they were finishing one another's sentences now. Next you'd see they had matching him and her towels.

"I'd love to." Raif smiled his happy go lucky smile. All eyes turned to me. My chest gave a painful heave in protest. I stood abruptly, making the chair clatter to the floor behind me.

"Excuse me." I mumbled practically sprinting to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me, before sliding to the floor. The silent tears slipping uselessly down my cheeks.

I was pathetic. I was a grown woman. I was nearly thirty and here I was crying on the bathroom floor like a teenager. I never believed people when they said love was painful. I might have been in love before, but it wasn't like this. I didn't have to see this. I wasn't asked to be a damn God mother to a boy whose father I was in love with. A fresh set of tears rolled down my cheeks.

I was in love with Danny. I couldn't deny it; I couldn't ignore it anymore. He had captured my entire heart without even trying. I'd invested my love into him, knowing I could never have him. Why hadn't I tried harder to change that? I'd saved him from dying for Christ sakes, yet I couldn't keep him from falling in love with Evelyn? Maybe if I had, Raif wouldn't be in pain. Maybe he'd be happy. Oh God…what was I thinking? Danny was meant to fall in love with her. I couldn't have changed that. It was fate.

It was time to be a big girl. I'm in love with a man that's completely enamored with a woman who once loved his best friend. That was that, I'll deal with the pain as it comes, but I should be happy for him. He was happy…that's all I should care about. I took a deep calming breath and stood off the floor. I could be strong.

I glanced at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red, my hair was slightly messed up. I bent down slightly to turn on the water and my necklace slipped out of my shirt. The metal dog tags clinked together. I fingered my brother's tags with another sigh. I slipped it off my neck placing it on the sink counter before splashing some water on my face.

I had to get back out there and accept their offer. That was right thing to do. It was the adult thing to do. I toweled off my now wet face, not caring that I had wiped off my make up. They probably all knew why I made a mad dash to the bathroom anyhow. It wouldn't matter how well I looked.

I primped up my hair a bit so it didn't look completely like I had been crying. I unlocked the door and walked out, my head held high. They were all talking quietly around the table. When I walked back towards my seat the conversation fell silent. Raif gave me a small smile. I sat back down feeling a slight heat rise to my cheeks.

"Sorry about that, but um…I'd love to be R.J.'s God mother." I told them with a plastic smile. Evelyn gave a relieved and happy nod, while Danny nodded looking like he'd just been told he won a million dollars.

"That's great! We knew you two were the best for it." I nodded, and small talk started up again.

I managed to talk about the trivial things that were going about the base, and the technical problems about some of the planes. It was easy to put on a happy face. R.J. at one point woke up probably for a diaper change. One of many reasons why I didn't want children. They were messy, I couldn't get passed that. Then, it was time to go.

"Hey, I just have to go to the bathroom then we can leave." Raif told me. I gave him a nod hesitantly playing with little R.J. who was laying on his mother's lap.

"He's not gunna break you know." Evelyn chuckled lightly. I glanced up at her before looking back at the little baby. He wasn't big, but he wasn't very tiny either. The perfect sized baby for his size, but then again I had no idea what I was talking about.

"Alright let's go." Raif announced walking back into the living room. "See you guys tomorrow." the goodbyes couldn't have been more weird. We were in the car in no time.

"God…" I muttered slouching in the seat, closing my eyes. "Talk about emotionally draining."

"Mhm." was his only answer. The air was nice out tonight. The humidity wasn't heavy.

I hated when it would get extremely humid, it felt like you were breathing in water half the time. That was the bad part about living in Hawaii, it was hot humid and had bi polar weather. One moment it would be sunny then the next down pouring a hot rain. The one that I loved best was when it was raining where you were but about thirty yards away it was sunny clear skies.

It was fun running from rain soaked to sunny in a matter of seconds. I really hated having to work in the humidity though. My hands would start sweating something fierce and I had issues handling the tools. Those were the days Gooz would cuss up a storm, making sure half the base heard him. Of course that would mean entertainment for the rest of us. I yawned opening my eyes and glancing around. We weren't on the base. I knew the base like the back of my hand. I sat up slightly alarmed.

"Raif where are we?" I asked turning to look at him. His jaw was set in a hard line. "Raif?" my voice quiet. His eyes slid over to mine, usually they were a warm brown, but they looked black.

"Who are you?" my face screwed up in confusion.

"What do you mean?" that made no sense, he knew who I was. He'd known me for years now. He shook his head in annoyance digging in his pocket before throwing something my way. It landed in a jingling heap on my lap. They were my brother's dog tags. Oh shit…I took them off…

"Who are you? Cuz' I doubt you'd let the birth date be goofed on your brother's tags." I lifted them up and slid them over my head.

"I'm Skyla, Raif. That's who I am." I said slowly.

"Oh ya? And how am I suppose to believe that, huh? Last time I checked it was 1942, not 1981." I winced at the tone in his voice. "So, who are you? You sure as hell ain't Sky." I'd have no choice but to tell him.

"Raif…you're right I haven't been totally truthful with you, but I am Sky," I started taking a deep breath, here goes nothing. "Pull over somewhere." he shot me a look. "Seriously, please just pull over." he did as I said and pulled into a deserted looking parking lot.

"If you're Sky explain those tags." he pointed the tags. They were hanging limply against my shirt.

"The date on my brother's tags aren't goofed. He was born February 24th, 1981. He died in 2001 when I was fifteen. His plane was shot down by enemy fire." I didn't look at Raif, I was staring down at the tags. "After he died I strove to be a pilot. I didn't want to join in the military anymore. I own a plane which I'm contracted out to fly people to whatever remote locations their vacation house is located at. On my way home from a flight something went wrong with my plane." I could remember it clearly. The whistle of the wind, the clarity I felt when I knew I was going to die. "But…I never crashed. I ended up on a street in a small town in Tennessee." I did glance over at him now. I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"So, you're telling me you're from the future?" his eyebrows rose incredulously. I knew he wouldn't believe me, but I had to try. He needed to believe me.

"I knew the Japanese would bomb Pearl Harbor. I was at that air field before they dropped the first torpedo. I was readying those planes hours before we even heard the first shot. You guys barely understood the way I was dressed when you first met me. I say things that make no sense. I knew you had dyslexia." I stopped to breath. He looked conflicted now. "Where I come from…this is only a movie. Pearl Harbor actually happened, but this is the movie about it. The first time you flew a plane was when you were just playing around on your father's. You didn't mean to turn it on. Right afterward Danny was dragged away by his father and you hit him in the back with a two by four that was you're guys play propeller."

"I've never told you that…I doubt Danny has either." he murmured looking at the steering wheel.

"You didn't need to, I already knew about it. Just like how I knew you volunteered to go into the RAF." I stared at him now, trying to gauge his reactions to what I was saying. He was still staring at the steering wheel, a frown forming on his face. I knew I could say one thing that would make him believe me. "Out in the water…after your plane went down. You made a deal with God." his head snapped up, eyes wide. I looked away from him opting to stare at the sky. "You told him that you knew you were a fool for trying to be a hero, and you wouldn't do it again, if only you could see her face one more time. Just once…and you did." I sighed closing my eyes, remembering the emotional seen between Raif and Evelyn.

"How did you…" he trailed off. I swallowed over the growing lump in my throat.

"Because this was only a movie." I murmured, if only I hadn't come here. Raif wouldn't be here…sitting in a car in an empty parking lot. He wouldn't have to feel the painful stab of hurt every time he saw Evelyn. He'd be in that house with her…raising Danny's son as his own. I buried my head in my hands. "This was only a movie."

He didn't talk for a long time. We just sat there in the car, each in our own little world. I was struggling to keep my tears at bay. He didn't need to see them. They weren't meant for anyone. I was frustrated and tired. I don't know why I'm here. My little freak out the night before hadn't helped me. I was still clueless.

I wish I knew the answers again. I missed knowing what would happen. It was disconcerting to be in the dark after being in such a brightly lit room for so long. I knew nothing anymore, only what information I can remember about World War II. I didn't even know if the end of the movie was going to happen. Danny was alive to raise his son, would they move back to Tennessee? Most likely, his father had a farm out there as well. Would Raif move back? Take care of the farm when his mother passed? What would happen to me? I groaned as a distinct stabbing began in my temples. I didn't want to think of the what if's and maybe's anymore.

"Take me back," I croaked feeling rigid panic begin to claw it way up my body. "Please, just take m-me back." the car started up with a rumble. I kept my breathing short and shallow unwilling to take a deep breath, for I was sure if I did I would start sobbing.

I darted out of the car the moment he stopped in front of the house. I didn't say goodbye, I didn't wave, and I certainly didn't look back. The door was unlocked, probably Sandra leaving it open for me. I closed it quietly behind me. My back pressed against the wood as I continued to gasp for air. The coiling in my chest growing tighter. My hand clutched the fabric of my shirt trying to quell the painful beating of my heart.

"Sky?" a timid voice asked. A light flipped on making me squint against it. I glanced over where I knew the light switch was. Barbra stood in her nightgown and curlers. I drew in another pitiful breath feeling the world begin to waver. A ringing began in my ears. What was happening? Barbra was talking again but I couldn't hear her over the noise. I looked at her in confusion. Why couldn't I hear her? I opened my mouth to talk, but everything began to spin. The last thing I saw was the rapidly approaching floor before my world went black.

XxXxXx

I woke up in my bed with sunlight streaming through the window. Sandra was sitting precariously on the edge of the bed dabbing my forehead with a wet cloth. Her gaze met mine and she smiled softly. She stood off the bed putting the wet cloth in the water basin. "What happened?" I managed to ask sitting up. I was in my tank top and shorts.

"You fainted last night. Scared us all quite a bit." she explained. My eyebrows knitted together. I wasn't one to faint. "From an anxiety attack." my head snapped sharply towards her. What did she mean anxiety attack? I'd been through hell and I never had one. "It's common for those who've been through a traumatic experience." I hated her tone of voice. That professional impersonal way of speaking to another being had always pissed me off.

"I've never had a panic attack before." I suppose me screaming at the stars the other night wasn't very helpful either. Sandra sighed turning to face me. Her kind eyes set in an emotion I hadn't seen her give me before.

"Stop being so stubborn." I blinked bewilderedly. She'd never gotten angry before. "You're not made out of stone Sky so stop trying to act like it."

"Sandra-"

"No, you're going to listen to me." she stated forcefully. I swallowed out of reflex and nodded. "The man you love has a kid with another woman and they just got married. You're hurting yourself trying to act like that doesn't mean anything. Bottling it up will only hurt you in the end."

"Sandra, I understand you're concern." I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and stood. "I really do, but I'm okay. I really am, everything just got a little too real last night." I took a deep ready to lie through my teeth. "I accepted the fact that I can't be with Danny a long time ago. I'm happy for them, they deserve all the happiness in the world."

Sandra look conflicted. She didn't want to believe my untruthful words, but I'd been lying for years. Not many could tell when I was telling one anymore. It had become almost a habit for me to lie instead of tell the truth. Then she sighed accepting my lies humbly.

"Take it easy today, no working. You already have the day off." I nodded telling her thank you and goodbye as she left.

I got dressed in a pair of pants and a shirt. I wasn't in the mood to dress like a woman today. I pulled my hair into a low bun before tugging on my shoes. I was the only one in the house when I left. The rest of the girls already gone to work. Sandra must have waited for me to wake up before leaving. I did appreciate her concern. I wasn't very close to the women in the house, but they all treated me with kindness.

I was just a tad bit rough to properly fit in with them. Too many years of spending my time with only men had made my sides jagged. I wasn't classy like they were, and I didn't care that I wasn't. Making sure my hair looked nice, wearing make up, and trying to look fashionable was a great deal behind my other priorities. Thinking of the guys, my mind couldn't help but wander to Raif.

He knew the truth now. I was from the future. I didn't belong in this time. He had been so angry with me… Almost like I had betrayed him. It wasn't like I liked not saying anything about it. I might have been a pretty good liar but I still valued the truth. How could I face him now that he knew? Would he tell anyone else? I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

AN: At first I was going to have Danny be the one to find out she was from the future, but Raif seemed like a better alternative. Well review and tell me what you think.


	12. Always Been Around

AN: Hello it's been a long while, but I finally got this chapter out. I don't really know why but this chapter was a pain to write. I'd like to thank all of my faithful readers for putting up with my sporadic updating. Enjoy!

Living Through the Past

Chapter 12: Always Been Around

I had to stop thinking about the what ifs, they'll be the end of me. I took a deep breath looking out across the roads. The base was always filled with activity, even with a lot of the people being deployed. I was terrified about which regiment would go next. Would it be ours? I'd be left here with Ed. Grounded, illegal for a woman to be in combat. Raif, Danny, Gooz, Red, and even the new guy Tommy might would go off, uncertain if they'll be coming back. I hoped with my entire being that they wouldn't be deployed. It was a pipe dream, but it couldn't hurt to hope.

"Sky!" my head whipped to the side at the sound of my voice. Red and Tommy were in Red's car idly in the middle of the street. Red made a come here motion with his head. Wonder what they want. I walked to the car stepping off the curb.

"Hey guys what's up?" I saw Tommy briefly flicker his gaze upwards in confusion. It took all I had not to smile. He wasn't use to my mannerisms yet.

"We need y-you back at the air field." Red stated sounding slightly frazzled by something.

"What happened?" I asked as I vaulted myself into the back seat, using my arms as levers.

"Well, one of Captain McCawley's men was gunna test out one of the planes, when something misfired and it drove straight off the landing strip." Tommy explained to me while Red drove.

"Anyone hurt?" he shook his head. That was good, we were already

loosing people to the war we didn't need an accident on our home turf to kill any of us too. "So what's wrong with the plane?"

"Not a damn clue. It's a bit scuffed up now, but we got no idea why it misfired."

"R-raif told us t-to come get you." Red glanced at me from the rear view mirror.

"Aww, did you guys miss not havin' my genius around?" I grinned cheekily earning a chuckle in return. I could forget for a few seconds what had transpired the night before Raif and I.

It wasn't a very long ride to the hanger. It looked like the guys had managed to get the fitful plane back into the hanger. There were some pretty big tire treads off to the side of the strip making a smile quirk onto my lips. The moment Red got the car to a stop I jumped out of the back seat, ready to get to my mind numbing work. Raif was standing in front of a man I didn't know. He looked a bit scuffed up, must have been the pilot that crashed the plane. I hoped Raif didn't yell at him.

"Earl! Gooz! Find anything wrong with it?" I called to the other more qualified mechanics as I shimmied into my jump suit. Gooz cursed a bit before actually answering me.

"The wiring is screwy." he ducked out from beneath the plane wringing his greasy hands on an already dirty rag.

"No wonder you needed me." I grumbled joining Earl beneath the plane. My hands were smaller then everyone else's, so working the small complicated wires was usually put into my hands. I didn't fumble as much as the guys did.

"Looks like some kind of animal chewed through it." Earl informed me shining a light on the mess of wires. One of them was nearly split in half.

"Who the fuck checked this thing?" I growled loudly, wanting an answer. If the pilot managed to get this thing into the air it was liable to shut off while still in the air.

"I did." Raif's clear voice didn't deter my annoyance.

"How'd you miss that?" I demanded moving out from under the plane. I pinned him with a hard glare. "If that plane got into the air, one of your men would have died. It'd be on you."

"It looked clear when I checked it. There were no problems." he replied with a hard stare of his own, but I could tell he was a bit off kilter by what could have happened. I sighed moving to the tools and spare supplies.

Fixing the wire would take a while, seeing as I had to disconnect it untangle it from the other cords before replacing it. Not to mention I had to be careful about being shocked. Gooz, Earl, and Tommy helped me while I barked out orders. It was strangely empowering knowing that I had people at my beck and call. I worked through the lunch break. I went through an entire check with the plane while I was working as well. Raif never missed things when it dealt the with technical stuff.

When I did finish fixing the plane it was well into the afternoon. Some of the guys were going out for a drink. I decided to join them, because hey, I had nothing better to do. I was avoiding being alone with Raif, and I was still hopelessly in love with Danny. I lived in a house filled with women who didn't understand me. I was the only woman pilot in the air force at the current moment. I was living in the year 1943, and I would be born forty five years later. I had all the reason in the world to drink.

I got home pretty late that night. I wasn't completely drunk, but I was a bit tipsy. I waved goodbye to the guys in the car, Raif being the only sober one enough to drive. When I was in the house I tried my best not to make a sound as I stumbled my way up to my bed. I yawned kicking my shoes off and looking down at my clothes. The need to sleep was far more important then getting them off. I crawled on top of my bed ignoring the blankets and fell into the land of darkness.

The next morning I avoided all contact with Sandra. If there was one person I'd willingly spill the beans to, it would be her. She didn't treat me with the same weary respect the other women did. It was true when people said that women have more intuition then men. They all knew I was different, more then they could comprehend, but still they felt it. Sandra on the other hand treated me like an equal. I couldn't tell her the truth though, not after how Raif reacted to the news.

Work dragged, almost half the base was gone. I knew that soon my friends would be shipped off into the middle of the pacific to fight for the war. I wouldn't be allowed to go, I was just a mechanic, just a woman. I shook my head clearing my thoughts from going down that road. It wouldn't always be like that. Women would get their chances, we still weren't allowed in the front lines, but it was more then just being a nurse.

"Sky, Stop workin' and eat." I glanced over at Earl who was frowning at me chewing on a piece of gum. I sighed wiping my hands on the already oily towel and walked over to the small kitcheny area. I grabbed myself a sandwich and sat with the other guys, listening to their playful banter.

"Still got that headache Tommy?" Gooz jabbed at the newbie, who looked like he wasn't feeling to well. He grunted an reply. I set my sandwich down going over to the waters.

"Here, drink this, and go lay down somewhere I don't need you puking on everything." I handed him the water. Tommy nodded grabbing the water and wondering off.

"Told 'im n-not to take those shots." Red chuckled slightly.

"He'll grow an iron stomach, especially 'round you boys." I retorted with a cheeky grin.

"You out drink me every time!" Gooz said indignantly. I snorted finishing up my sandwich.

I didn't really talk to anyone expect for the guys at the hanger until we had the weekend off. I actually slept in which also meant that there was a line for the shower. I walked into the sitting area that was outside the bathroom. I sat down on the couch half listening to the conversations going on around me. Apparently Barb had a date with a sailor later today, and she had no idea what to wear. They were chatting about clothes, and make up styles something that didn't really interest me.

My shower was quick, seeing as most of the hot water was gone bby the time that I got in. I was in my room, trying and failing on what I wanted to wear. I had to go shopping today for a few feminine items. It was a relief that I didn't need to hide getting tampons and pads. I didn't know whether I wanted to dress more like a woman or a man. My tastes still differed from what was appropriate for a woman to wear in this decade.

"Hey Sky?" Sandra's voice drifted through the closed door.

"yep?" I answered still looking at my drawers.

"Raif's here to see you." her tone was quiet, even more so. My stomach tightened at the thought of having to talk to him. I had half the mind to tell her to him that I wasn't feeling well, but I quickly dismissed that thought. I was an adult, I could face unpleasant situations.

"Okay, tell him I'll be right down." I grabbed a soft yellow dress and slipped it over my head. My hair was growing even more. I brushed it out before slipping on a pair of heels, going panty hoe-less was almost a scandal in these days, but I didn't really care. I glanced at myself in the mirror deeming that I looked fine. Raif looked nervous standing out on the porch. He was dressed in a pair of slacks and a white t-shirt with a light blue button up over it.

"Hey," he greeted with a slight nod.

"Hi, um…" I pursed my lips having no clue what to say to him.

"Want to go on a walk?" he supplied his gaze glancing back at the house, where the girls were most likely listening in. He obviously wanted to talk about me being from the future.

"Sure." I let him take the lead. We stopped walking after a while, he stared out at the clear blue ocean, so many ships had been sent off, the bay looked empty.

"I…I wanted to apologize for how I acted the other night." his shoulders were tense.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I'm the one that lied the entire time." I said hurriedly. He shouldn't put the blame on himself. "Your actions are justifiable, you trusted me and I broke that trust." I frowned up at him. He still looked troubled by it. "Raif, how you acted is the same way I would have if someone I've known for years suddenly wasn't all they said they were."

"Still, I could have thought more rationally about it. I probably would have done the same thing if I were you, you were just trying to save yourself." he did look at me then, and I knew that he not only believed me but he was okay with it too.

"I'm going to hug you now." I stated throwing my arms around his middle. Raif laughed wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "I was kind of lonely with no one to really talk to this week."

"What are you talking about? You're always chatting it up with the guys." I rolled my eyes at him as I took a step back. He knew what I was talking about. Danny and Him were the first friends I made when I first came here and that meant something important. I'd confided more in him then even Danny.

"Well you already got me out of the house, how about some lunch?"

"You're always so hungry." he muttered with a smile.

"Shut up." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Lunch was fun. Raif had been hard at work with his men, they were getting ready for the war, even more so then normal. No one in our regiment had gotten the notice yet, but it was looming over all our heads. We talked about the base gossip some too, though both of us didn't know much about it. We compared the food to his mom's cooking. I swear that woman had magical powers or something.

"How are you holding up?" I asked as we were walking back to the nurses house. He sighed heavily running a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

"As best as is expected." he finally answered after a moment of silence. "And you?"

"I'm still trying to get use to the fact that they asked me to be R.J.'s god mother." I shook my head in disbelief.

"Why? Other then the obvious reasons, you're perfect for the title." I rolled my eyes as his compliment. "I'm being serious. They know that no matter what you'll be there for R.J. if anything happens to them."

"That's the same reason they chose you." I retorted.

"That's the point Sky, we're reliable." he shook his head at me.

"No, I mean, why would they choose the woman that's in love with Danny? I mean, I'm honored, but it doesn't make sense." I shrugged cracking my back in the process. Raif didn't answer, I don't think there really was an answer to that. We neared the house. "Thanks for lunch." I smiled hugging Raif goodbye.

"We still going to that new movie tomorrow?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Duh," I smiled, "Bye Raif." I waved walking up the steps.

"Bye Sky."

Things fell into a peaceful kind of rhythm. I went to work, and spent my free time with Raif, Danny, and Evelyn. It was getting easier and easier to see them together. They were so happy with one another, I couldn't allow myself to come in between that. When the married couple wanted to have a night off R.J. was usually put into mine, Sandra, and Barbara's care. That also meant Raif was over. The little boy was growing bigger every day.

At first I had thought that Raif finding out about me being from the future was a huge mistake, but it turned out to be an okay thing that happened. We were closer now that I didn't have to hide that from him. He also never stopped asking me questions about what the future was like. Sometimes we'd spend hours just talking about what the world would be like in a couple of years to decades in the future. I think something that was the most outrageous to him was the internet. He just didn't really understand it, no matter how much I tried explaining it to him.

I even explained to him what his problem with letters were. He was pretty opened mind to what I had to say. I think Raif just liked knowing that having dyslexia didn't make him stupid. A lot of people had it in the future, and some were extremely successful people. I had no doubt in my mind that a lot of people had it now as well.

It was another somewhat slow day at work. There wasn't much to do today, but it was mandatory that we work, so work we did. The day was unpleasantly humid. My hands kept up a steady sheen of sweat making it hard to handle the tools. I had tied a strip of cloth around my head to keep the sweat away from my eyes. My hair was tied back in a low ponytail. I don't know why I hadn't cut it again, but I was more focused on the bolt I was tightening.

"Hey Sky," I glanced to my side where Tommy was working as well.

"Ya?" I wiped my hands on my dirty jump suit.

"What's hiding your gender like?" he asked honestly. His question left me momentarily stumped, no one had ever really asked me that.

"Um…" I started but trailed off, trying to look for the right words. "Well it's like…" I stopped again. With a huff I tried one more time, "If you're doing it for the right reasons, then you don't really mind pretending to be someone your not, like me hiding the fact I was a girl. But if you're hiding yourself to keep others happy, then I think it'd really suck."

"Oh, that makes sense." I hoped I answered his question. We worked in silence for a little bit longer, until the phone rang. Earl got it.

"Boys!" Earl called all of us to attention. Tommy and I stopped working and got out from under the plane. The other guys in the hanger stopped what they were doing as well. "Pack your bags, we're being shipped out tomorrow morning." I felt a lead weight drop in my stomach. "Sky,"

"Yes?" I knew what he was about to say though. I wasn't going to be going, I'd be staying here. Earl shook his head at me. I nodded. I could feel the guys staring at me, they knew as well. I was a woman, not allowed to fly, or be in combat. I couldn't wait to get back home, I had to talk to Raif.

I knew that I'd find him at Danny and Evelyn's place. Sure enough they were all in the living room. Danny had R.J. in his arms, Evelyn sitting beside him. Raif was on the arm chair, looking at the coffee table. They all looked up when I entered.

"Are you-?" Danny started.

"No," I cut him off already aware of what he was asking. "You're all going, but me." I moved to one of the kitchen chair and sat down.

"Maybe it's for the best, war is no place for a woman." Evelyn said trying to make me feel better. I resisted my urge to snap at her for being so ignorant, but she was just stating what she'd been taught to believe.

"I just wish they would have given us some more warning." Danny murmured looking down at his sleeping son.

"We've known this day was gunna come for months." Raif stated the first thing he's said since I got there. "We lived through the bombing, right? Who's to say it won't be the same now?" he asked, almost challenging us to disagree with what he had to say. In times of trouble Raif had always been the one to take charge. "We'll be gone for a few months then be back before you know it."

"Ya, Your right. Everything'll be fine." Danny gave a small smile to Evelyn.

"Except, Sky won't be there. What if something goes wrong and your both hurt?" Evelyn sniffled. I had half a mind to tell her that I only saved Danny's life before because I knew what was going to happen. I was just as much in the dark about their safety as the rest of them.

"Red'll be there, so will Gooz, and Tommy, Earl too. Raif's right. Everything will be fine." I stated with a confidence I didn't really feel. I was terrified what could happen to them out there. "Evelyn? How about we cook something for dinner?"

The other woman nodded kissing Danny on the cheek before following me into the kitchen. I didn't know what would happen in the months to come, but I could be there for my friends. I kept up idle chatter with her while we prepared dinner. I was trying my best to get her mind off of the fact that her husband was going off to war. If Danny died, she'd be left a widow to raise her son without his father. I had prevented that from happening once, it hurt knowing I wouldn't be able to help this time.

Dinner was quiet, none of us really knew what to talk about. R.J. got a bit fussy after a while becoming the focus of Danny and Evelyn's attentions. Raif and I cleaned up, letting the family have their moment. We worked pretty well as a team of cleaners.

"I'm scared." I murmured quietly as I dried the dishes he was handing to me.

"Don't be, everything will be fine." it sounded like he was stating a mantra, I began to doubt that Raif believed his own words. Still I nodded in agreement with him. There was no point in me arguing with him at the moment. He and Danny would be gone by tomorrow afternoon. I'd be left with an empty hanger, and a bunch of women who thought I was off.

"I think I should head back to the house." I told everyone when Raif and I finished with the dishes. I didn't really have a place here.

"I'll drive you." Raif volunteered. We drove in silence. There wasn't really anything to be said that we didn't already know. When he pulled up to the house I didn't immediately get out. "Come here." he tugged on my wrist pulling me to him. I hugged Raif tightly knowing I couldn't hurt him. "I'll keep him safe."

"You too," I frowned. He nodded. I turned my head into his shirt, relaxing in the comfort of his arms. "Bye Raif." I nearly whispered pulling away, I almost didn't want to let go. He smiled softly at me.

"Goodbye Skyla." I got out of the car and hurriedly made my way to the house. I stopped turning around and waved before heading into the house.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I kept tossing and turning, waking myself up every few hours. I was worried that something bad would happen. I couldn't help but imagine the worst. The ship being bombed, being shot out of the sky, and being taken prisoner. I didn't know what would be worse. I didn't know what would happen. That might be what scared me the most. Since I saved Danny I didn't know whether the ending of the movie would play out. Would Danny die like he was meant to? Would Raif be killed? I don't know what hurt worse to think about.

I decided not to see them off. I didn't want to go through that pain. I was a coward, and I knew it, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to see them get on that ship not knowing if it'll ever come back. I twisted myself further into the covers of the bed. I wished I could stop thinking about it. The pain in my chest hurt worse then I'd ever felt.

I felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come. Why was I acting this way? I mean, I've seen them go off to war before, but then I had been too. This was the first time that I'd be alone. There was no one from my regiment that would be here, except me. I'd be left here, to do nothing. I wonder how Raif felt when he left to be in the RAF.

The thought of Raif made my stomach flip uneasily. I frowned slightly, why was the thought of Raif not being here absolutely terrifying? When did I start to rely so heavily on his presence? I curled tighter into a ball on my bed. He'd been there from the start. When I first appeared, when I started feeling for Danny, when I had broken down, and even knowing my secret. He was still there for me. Last night…I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want him to go. I wanted to stay in his arms. I practically hurled myself out of bed nearly tripping over the blankets as they tangled around my legs.

"How could I be so stupid!" I muttered to myself shoving the blankets off my legs. I had to get to the ship before it left. I couldn't let another door close. I ran down the stairs as fast as I dared. The moment my feet hit more solid ground I dashed out the front door barely noticing that Barbra was in the kitchen.

He'd been there the entire time. He'd never left, he was always there for me. He helped me forget the pain of loving Danny. He made me laugh when I felt like crap. He wallowed in misery with me. He made me feel like tomorrow could be a better day. God I was so stupid.

I pushed myself to run faster. They weren't schedule to leave until 8:30, maybe I would get there before he boarded. I had to. The air burned my lungs as I took large breaths. I knew what ship they were taking. I knew where it was. As I neared the area I could see Evelyn, Danny, and Raif. He was walking away.

"Raif!" I yelled my feet slapping the pavement as I ran towards him. I passed Evelyn and Danny without a glance. Raif himself turned around, and I jumped into his arms. I didn't even think, I just kissed him firmly on the mouth. His arms that were encircling my waist, holding me up, tightened. When I broke the kiss I looked him straight in the eyes. "Come back to me alright?" I asked panting slightly. A dazzling smile broke out on his face.

"You know I will." and he kissed me again, this time with less urgency then the first time. Afterward he slowly set me down, I could feel the reluctance in him. I smiled up at him, getting a smile in return. Someone from the ship shouted it was time to leave. Raif glanced backwards before looking back down at me. His eyes clouded with emotion.

"Just be safe okay?" I hugged him tight around the waist, and felt him lightly kiss the top of my head. I pulled away and pushed him towards the ship. "Now go be a soldier." he laughed nodded and grabbed his bag he had dropped in order to catch me and walked away.

While I was walking back I nodded to Danny. He gave me a soft smile and a wave. I stopped when I was beside Evelyn. In her arms was four month old R.J.. She was tearing up but keeping them at bay. I guess watching the man she loved go off to war was a lot on her. I barely came to the conclusion of loving Raif about seven minutes ago. Gods I was so oblivious.

"Hey Sky?" I looked over at her to see her looking me over.

"Yes?" I asked with a slightly suspicious feeling.

"You realize your in the shortest night gown ever seen right?" I blinked and looked down at my attire. I had forgotten I was in my improvised nighty. I checked around me, and sure enough everyone was staring. Crossing my arms I pursed my lips.

"Well…I can explain that." Evelyn laughed at me, probably because my face felt like it was on fire. We watched the ship sail away. Going off into the war. At the very moment I despised being found out as a woman.


	13. The Written Word

AN: Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts. They mean a lot to me, even if my updating habits don't show that. I love knowing people like my story. With no further ado, here is the next chapter.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 13: The Written Word

"C'mon we better get going." we turned away and walked back. "So you and Raif huh?" She asked once we were back at the nurses house. I needed to get dressed before I could do anything else. I looked to her, to see if there was any contempt. I only saw the curiosity anyone would have.

"Ya…I guess." I shrugged looking through my drawers.

"You guess? Skyla you can't be indecisive anymore. Raif couldn't stand to be hurt anymore." her statement caused my anger to rupture. I whirled around with a scowl.

"Who are you to tell me about Raif's pain!?" I hissed causing her to flinch. "You have no idea what pain he went through because of you!" My voice rose in volume with each word. Each time a new wave of hurt flashing across her face. "You have no right to talk to me about Raif's pain." I turned away from her, not caring that I was being unfair. He had died to her, she had no idea he wasn't dead.

"Skyla…I know I hurt him. It hurt me to hurt him…" I closed my eyes, resting my clenched hands on the top of my dresser. "But I was pregnant with Danny's child."

"Is that why you're still with him? Out of obligation?" I ground out. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I was grateful Little Raif was asleep in the bassinet in the living room.

"No, I love Danny Skyla. Maybe at first…but…you must understand. You don't know what it's like to love someone so much and to have them ripped away from you." that statement was a personal blow. All thoughts of calming myself down flew out the window. My vision bled red, I felt a sting in my palms as my fingernails bit into the skin.

"_Get out_." I whispered hoping she'd get the hint and leave me be. Leave before I did something really stupid.

"Skyla what's-" I spin around the air around me nearly crackling with rage.

"Get out." I bite out with more venom at her pointing to the open door way. Her mouth fell open in shock, yet still she stood rooted in place. "Get _out_." I repeat taking a threatening step towards her. Evelyn scrambled to get away from me, nearly tripping in her hasty retreat out of my room. I slam the door shut with such force I could practically feel the house shake.

How dare she tell me I don't know what heart break is. Who does she think she is to know _my_ pain. It was not _her_ fault Raif was reported dead. It wasn't by _her_ words that he volunteered for the RAF. No she only lost her love because of war. She had no _idea_ what pain I have gone through. I lost my brother because of my naivety. He joined because of _me_. If I hadn't been so adamant to get him to join, if only I hadn't pushed so much. Maybe just _maybe_ my brother would still be alive. A sob escapes my lips and I sink to the floor in tears.

It was some time later that Sandra ventured into my room. I was sitting cross legged on my bed, staring listlessly at the ground. The same spot I'd fallen to my knees. The spot where'd I'd lost any dignity I might had held for myself. I'd always been taught not to cry over spilt milk, what happened happened and nothing could change it. I couldn't, no I would not, believe that philosophy to be true for every situation.

"Sky…you're going to drown in this sorrow if you keep this up." Sandra spoke softly as she sat next to me.

I knew the blame I was putting on myself was childish and untrue. My brother had made his choice in the end. It wasn't _me_ who signed the contracts. It wasn't _my_ fault that the plane he was test driving malfunctioned. I knew all this, but I couldn't really accept it.

"You need to _talk _about whatever is bothering you." a warm hand enveloped my own which lay uselessly in my lap. "If you don't…you'll lose yourself and everyone you care about." I blink turning my gaze from that dreadful spot on the floor to look at the woman beside me.

I had opened my mouth to tell her that I was _fine_, that nothing was _wrong_ with me, but I knew the lie wouldn't work. It wouldn't gloss over this mess anymore. She wouldn't believe my lie. I couldn't believe my lie any longer. It was killing me, just as she said.

"Sky, you can trust me." a gentle smile, a kind look in her eyes. That is all it takes for the truth to begin spilling from my mouth. The words cram themselves together, my throat constricting at parts, yet still it comes. The very thing I'd kept hidden for so long, drove me to keep moving forward in this odd universe was laid out before a woman who always thought I was different and still tried to be nice.

When I'm done I feel hollow. There is no relief from this confession only emptiness. I was still resentful, my brother was still dead. Sandra stared, looking a bit more shell shocked then anything, at me. I ran a hand through my ever growing hair, wondering how long it might take for her to start pointing an accusing finger at me, calling me insane. That moment never comes. After a few minutes of silence, her hand rests reassuringly on my arm.

"You didn't kill your brother." I blink my head snapping up to meet her eyes. She gives me a small, kind hearted smile. "And I think you need to partially explain to Ev about what's been going on with you."

"It's not like she'd understand." I grumbled frowning at the younger woman. I was older then most every one of my friends, well besides Gooz and Ed.

"Maybe not…but she'd sure stop assuming things about your life." she pointed out with a quirk of her eyebrow. I sighed heavily running my hand down my face.

"When'd you get so wise?" I asked eying her with mock suspicion. Sandra gave a cheeky grin.

"Don't you know? All old people are wise." she snorted giving my arm one more squeeze before standing up. "Talk to Evelyn, smooth things over. It'll all work out in the end." she left with those words of advise.

XxXxXx

Dear Sky, Feb 3rd

Hey, I've never had to write you one of these things before. You've always been in the bunk beside me. It's weird not having you around Sky, but enough of that. I'm not writing to remind you that your not here. I want to talk to you….well…you know what I mean.

You know I gotta say I was not expecting that kiss. I mean…I liked it a lot, but damn you sure know how to surprise a guy. I wish you would have said something sooner, now all I got is two kisses and my imagination.

We're doing good out here. The guys say hi. I'll write you again as soon as I can. I miss you.

Raif

* * *

><p>Dear Raif, Feb 14th<p>

It's Valentine's day here…not my favorite time of year. Everyone's super happy and celebrating. I think tonight I'm gunna go down to the bar and drink with all the other lonely schmucks on this island. (:

Hope you're being safe. You're mother will kill me if anything happens to you. Ya…it really sucks not being with you guys. I feel out of place in the hanger. Hell I feel out of place in general. A lot of the women here still look at me like I'm the devil's spawn. Guess it comes with the package of being me.

I'm sure you know by now, but Evelyn and I aren't talking. I kind of blew up on her and kicked her out of my room. I think I really hurt her feelings. I've tried talking to her, but she's pretty good at avoiding me.

Stay safe. See you soon. I miss you.

Sky

* * *

><p>Dear Sky, April 2nd<p>

Valentine's day sucks even with loved ones around. We're being as safe as we can. We've gone into combat a few times, and damn dog fights get me nervous. Nearly lost Gooz, but he made it back to the ship. I swear he's a cat.

Ya I heard about you and Ev. I ain't gunna get into it. I'm sure it'll work itself out. You two are stuck with each other cause of me and Danny. Just don't do anything crazy alright? You owe me a date.

We'll be back soon. I miss you.

Raif

* * *

><p>Sky, April 10th<p>

You probably never expected a letter from me. I don't expect one back, I just…I guess I really needed to get this out. Clear the air, as I've hear you say. Ev told me about that fight. I guess I expected that to come. I don't mean anything by that either, I'm just not surprised you two aren't getting along. I want to get back to why I'm writing you this letter.

I'm sure you remember that elevator ride to D.C.. I handled it all wrong, I know I did, and I'm sorry about that. Truth is I wasn't completely blind about your feelings for me. I mean we did kiss that one time in the barracks. I'm not going to lie and say I regret it.

I loved you, hell I still love you Skyla, but things didn't work out that way. I'm guessing we weren't meant to be. I want to apologize for how things went. I hurt you a lot by doing what I did. I hurt Raif as well. I'm happy you two have one another.

Love,

Danny

* * *

><p>Dear Raif, April 23rd<p>

I owe you a date huh? Well when you get back we'll go to a movie and get some dinner. And you know how I like to eat.

Damn…at least Gooz is okay. You better come back whole Mr. McCawley, I'd hate to see you hurt. I've heard talk you guys are comin home soon, so we'll get to that date pretty quickly. You boys will liven up the place a bit.

I miss you.

Sky

* * *

><p>It's been a while here on the island. Well….more like three months. Three months since I told Sandra the truth. Three months since I saw Raif off. Unfortunately it's been three months since I've spoken to Evelyn. I'm not saying I didn't try to talk to her. She just…didn't forgive me.<p>

I really hurt her the day I kicked her out of the room we once shared. I could see how…she reacts differently to situations then I do. Me refusing to even let her speak after she had assumed I'd never had heartbreak in my life had caused a riff between us. I saw her around town with little R.J., who I might add was getting pretty big. She talked to the women in the house, but I was normally never around when she did.

I worked on planes and helped around the base. Most of the men stationed here were off in war. Even so, there was a helluva lot to do around here. I got to know a lot of people around the base. I was a woman not to be trifled with. Considered masculine in ways that the women or men of this time couldn't comprehend. I enjoyed playing catch and baseball with the kids on the island. I could help people with car trouble. I was able to do some heavy lifting considered impossible to some women.

The guys were due to be back tomorrow. I was more then a little nervous. The letters Raif and I wrote were nothing like the long love letters he wrote to Evelyn, but I didn't mind. We were a different kind of couple…if we were a couple that is. I'm pretty sure we are. The fact that every letter ends with I miss you has to account for something. I know I didn't just mean I missed him, I don't believe he did either. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

The lone letter from Danny was shoved into the bottom of my dresser drawer. I cried when I read it, but I felt rejuvenated afterward. As cliché as it might sound I felt like that chapter of my life came to a close. I'd always love Danny, but it wouldn't hurt anymore to think about it. I could go forward with my relationship with Raif without a heavy heart.

"Sky, dinner." I looked up from the latest letter from Raif to the door. Sandra stood in the doorway with raised eyebrows. My stomach rumbled at me.

"Alright, I'm comin'." I set the letter down and stood from the bed.

"Letter from Raif?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head. I nodded with a smile. "Well you'll have your guy tomorrow."

"I'm nervous." I admitted honestly as we walked down the stairs towards the kitchen where the others and dinner were.

"Course you are…you love 'im." she smiled warmly at me. I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

"Sky loves who?" Barbra asked glancing at us. I grabbed a plate and began serving myself.

"Raif." Barbra smirked at the answer.

"Ya, anyone willin' to run across the base in that little thing hasta love the guy." I rolled my eyes. She hasn't stopped giving me grief over my nightgown since she saw me run passed her three months before.

"Aw, leave her alone Barb," I shuffled to the table, keeping out of the banter even though it was about me. Truth be told it's been a bit easier living in the house now that Sandra knew the truth. She had managed to calm a lot of the girl's unease about me. She really was an amazingly kind hearted woman. Any man would be lucky to have her as a wife.


	14. Promise in the Night

AN: It's been quite a while since my last update, and I do apologize for that. I know how frustrating it can be when stories aren't updated. To put it plainly I lost my muse for this story, it's taken me months to even think about this story. It's a bit short, but I liked where it ends. Please review and let me know what you think.

Living Through the Past

Chapter 14: Promise in the Night

I fidgeted nervously beside Sandra as we waited the guys return. The ship had docked about a half hour ago, but it took time for the men to emerge off of it. I swore I was visibly shaking, but Sandra had simply rolled her eyes at me. She thought I was one for dramatics at times.

Evelyn stood a few feet away from us with Barb and R.J.. I tried my best to ignore the tension that fizzled between us, but I was having a bit of a rough time doing so. What would happen now that the boys were home? Danny and Raif were best friends, despite everything that had transpired between the two of them. Raif was right, we'd be stuck with one another for quite some time.

I couldn't help but think she was being the childish one, but I knew that was wrong she didn't know the story about my brother. She had no idea how much I blamed myself for his death... I shook my head of those thoughts in favor to stare at the metal ship.

"Are you going to kiss him?" Sandra asked with a wry smirk. I huffed feeling my cheeks warm with embarrassment. They all loved to tease me about my farewell to Raif. It was bold, not to mention scandalise because of my less then proper night gown.

"What is taking so long?" I complained though I knew, from experience, the answer. It was a few moments later that the men started to trickle down the ramp.

People cheered as our heroes finally touched home land. Well...relatively home land since Hawaii didn't become a state until the late fifties. My eyes scanned the crowd of men for my group of friends. I missed all of them in the three months they were gone. It felt wrong not to be fighting beside them.

I first spotted Gooz talking animatedly to the Kid, or Tommy. My gaze wandered again to find the others. Red was talking to one of the other men from the base, looking as happy as everyone else to be back. I frowned, wondering where could Raif and Danny be.

"Hey Sandra, do you see them?" I asked lowering my gaze, "Holy shit!" I squealed stumbling back a bit. Raif stood with a cheesy grin on his face about a foot in front of me. "How the-what the-you are-" I breathed out roughly through my nose in annoyance. I had officially lost the capability to form coherent sentences. Sandra was practically crying from her laughter.

"Hi." Raif's smile softened.

"Hey." My eyes flickered momentarily to his lips, a blush growing on my face as I remembered the last time I had seen him. There was a brief flash of indesiciveness before he dropped his bag and pulled me into a tight embrace. I sighed audibly, wrapping my warms around his waist, how many nights had I missed his arms around me? I turned my face into his chest as my eyes began to sting. "I missed you."

"I missed you too..." He murmured, pressing a kiss into my hair. We pulled away from one another a few moments later. He looked...different slightly, older in the way he held himself. War did that to people...it had changed all of us. "You're hairs gotten longer." I fingered it gingerly, Sandra spent at least an hour getting it in the complicated up-do it was in.

"I'm thinking of cutting it again." I shrugged, chewing on my lip nervously. He looked at me inquisitvely, but before he could comment Danny and Evelyn walked up to us. Sandra had conviently disappeared.

"Hey Sky, great to see you again." Danny greeted me warmly. I smiled back at him, his letter at the forefront of my mind. I gave a small nod, letting him know that we were on the same page now.

"Raif I'm glad to see you're okay." Evelyn gave a small smile to her ex. It became undeniably obvious that we were ignoring one another. I had already tried to talk to her, and I was done for the moment.

"Why're we still standing here? Let's drop off your guys stuff then we can grab a drink at the bar." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "You can tell me all the embarrassing stuff the others did on the ship."

Hours later found my entire regiment loaded into the bar, all talking loudly about their time at sea. I was seated inbetween Raif and Red, laughing my ass off about all the fun stories they had to tell. We skirted around the battles, and Gooz's near death experience easily. Focusing on the good things would help keep everyone sane, from thinking to hard that we were in the middle of a war.

"How'd you fair wi'hou' us S'y?" Gooz slurred leaning heavily into Danny.

"Great! I didn't hafta deal with all y'all knuckle heads in the hanger!" I grinned goodnaturedly at them all. It was wonderful to have them all back on base.

"Prolly put the radio on a girrrrrllllyyyy," At this Gooz leaned in closely to Danny, who nearly choked from the man's terrible alcohol breath, "station."

"What's the matter Danny?" Raif asked rhetorically with a shit eating grin. Danny gave him a glare that could murder, as he tried unsuccessfully to push Gooz away.

"N-no one gave you t-trouble right Sky?" Red asked quietly, somehow managing to push through the din of the men.

"No, but thanks for asking." I quickly pecked him on the cheek. I knew it had to be hard for him to get over Betty, especially with how she died. I only hoped that after the war red would find a good wife.

"Uh-oh better watch out Raif, or Red'll swipe Sky right out of your hands." Tommy joked easily. It would appear he'd grown closer to everyone as well. Raif's arm snaked around my waist, pulling me ever so slightly closer to him.

"I trust 'er." I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't move away from his touch.

"I think I should be getting back to Evelyn." Danny murmured, his eyes focused on the lone clock in the bar. It was getting rather late, and he did have a girlfriend and kid at home. "Mind giving me a lift?" He looked to Raif.

"You comin'?" Raif looked over at me questioningly. I nodded sliding off the stool. We ignored the cat calls and whistles as we made it outside to the car. Of course a sailors dream, though they were pilots, after coming home from war is to have a woman in their bed.

"I'm happy you guys are back...the base is...terrible without you two." I was sitting in the back seat, with Raif driving and Danny in the passenger.

"Not seeing you bunking with us was...an odd experience." Danny said, his way of saying I'd been missed as well.

"Do you guys know if you're leaving again?" I asked quietly praying that they wouldn't have to leave again, but you never knew in times of war.

"No idea, though I hope if we do have to go it's no anytime soon." Raif was the one to speak up. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders at his words. We pulled up to Danny and Evelyn's house, and after saying goodbye Danny went into the house. I climbed over the seat despite wearing a skirt. "You wanna go back to the house?" He asked cordially as we drove away. I shook my head sinking into the familiar leather of the car.

We drove in comfortable silence for a little while, simply enjoying being in one another's company. It was a companionable silence, one that had developed over the long years I'd known Raif. It had been such a long time since I had first met him...since I'd been back in my time. We stopped in the same parking lot we had before when Raif found out I was from the future.

"Thought you could use the quiet." He explained when I looked at him questionably. I tilted my head in understanding, and sank further into the seat cushions. Raif's arm curled around my shoulders, and I moved closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder.

I was still amazed at how clear the sky was in this time. There were no harsh lights illuminating the night, no skyscrapers to block the view. It was simply the night sky... It might be because I'm a pilot, but I had always felt a deeper connection to the air then anything else I did.

"I miss flying..." I murmured quietly, sighing as I lowered my gaze away from the heavens.

"When we get back home, I'll let you drive the crop duster." I stole a quick look at him, seeing him staring warmly down at me.

"Really?" I practically squeaked with excitement. He snorted amusedly with a nod. "I love you!" I leaned upward kissing him lightly on the lips. When his lips didn't respond, I realized what I had said. "Uh-" My mouth opened, but no words escaped. I don't think my face felt so hot in my life. "I'm...Um...I..." I swallowed hard and started to pull away from Raif.

"Wait." his voice stopped me, I hesitantly looked at him. So it wasn't my finest moment...but I'd had a lot of time to think about him and us...if there was an us. "What about Danny?" I blinked, I hadn't been expecting that one.

"I'll always love him Raif, but he's not the one for me. N-not that I'm saying you're the one for me-or that I'm ruling you out-I...I'm just going to shut up now." I muttered with a shake of my head. A half smirk grew on his face at my ramblings. His hand rose to softly caress my cheek, my skin tingling from his touch.

"You're cute when yer flustered." Raif smirked, drawing nearer until our lips touched. It was slow and passionate, unlike the other kisses we had shared. Though he hadn't said it out loud, his kiss was enough to convey everything else.

My arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling our bodies closer. His hand cupped the back of my neck, fingers playing with some stray hairs making me shiver. Soon the kiss grew in intensity, our tongues engaging in a fiery dance. I felt as if I was on cloud nine. Unfortunately for us, a car passed, the sound of the engine reminding us both that we were out in the open.

I settled comfortably into Raif's side, breathing deeply in an attempt to quell the racing of my heart. Kissing Danny had always felt surreal...like it wasn't actually happening, but when Raif kissed me... I felt more alive than when I was flying. He awakened something in me that I'd never felt before.

"I don't want to go back." I mumbled, my eyes closing on their own accord.

"We don't have to go just yet." I frowned, turning my face into his shirt.

"I mean my home time..." He gave a soft 'oh'. "In the beginning I use to try, but now...I care about more people here then where I come from...I...have family here." I willed the tears away, "I don't want to leave."

"You won't Sky..." he held me tighter, "I'll make sure of it." We both knew it was a promise he couldn't keep.


	15. The End is Nigh(AN)

Hey guys! It's been a long time since I updated this story, and for that I apologize. This also isn't a new chapter, but simply an author's note. Not to worry, I'm not abandoning the story or anything drastic. I'm simply at a lost for how to move the story forward.

It may not seem like it, but I've had the ending of the story in my head for quite a while. I've just been having a hard time getting the characters to that point, which is why there are months and months of time in between updates. Now that I have started to outline how to get them to the ending I want, I'm hesitant to write it.

Living Through the Past is my most popular story, and I love you all for your support! Every new alert I get regarding this story makes me smile. It is because you all are so forgiving and loving of this story that I'm leery on what to do.

I never ask my readers to give me ideas for plots, because the way I figure it is that we read stories because we don't know what's going to happen next. But...I guess there are exceptions to my rule, and this is one of them.

Do you guys want to see a happy ending between Raif and Sky, or the ending I have planned out? I'm only asking because you all deserve to see the ending of this story, and I'm torn at what I should do.

Leave your replies in a review, and whichever ending I see has the most support I'll write. I'm very sorry that this wasn't a new chapter.

Thank you all for listening,

Tetisheri


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